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Parenthood and the War at Home

posted 8/14/2009 9:53:13 AM |
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In the great race of life, I am heading into the final turn in the final dash for happiness. My feelings for what I want are not nearly as strong as my feelings for what I don't want. We all have feelings and memories that we love to recall and hope to have a remake of in the future. There are similar times that we recall that we wish we did not. It's life.

There are two types of people we will encounter here to a large extent: those who are involved in day in, day out parenthood, and those who have transitioned out of it. It is not unlike military experience. In both cases, I have proudly served, did my duty with dedication and honor, and been involved in wars I did not understand with many bloody battles.

In both instances, I am a better person for it, have derived benefits after it, and have no intent of reenlisting and going through it again. Having served as a single parent, I can relate and empathize with those that still are. It is worthwhile and the efforts, frustrations, and sacrifice will lead to rewards that you will reap later. Those like myself can connect with you as we have been there while you cannot connect with us, as you are not where we are now. It is a wonderful place to be and you will have earned the opportunities presented to you for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

My daughter turned out to be a fine woman...after being an alien force for a decade. There was no warning at the age of ten that my little darling would star in a reprise of Linda Blair’s role in a remake of The Exorcist in just three years. I cannot express how delightful it is to now go to bed at night without being concerned about a call in the middle of the night from the hospital, police, or her mother.

When I was married, my wife and her sisters would get together informally on a monthly basis to have a glass of wine or eight and the conversation would gradually but inevitably focus on male and child bashing bitch sessions. I learned to be as invisible and quiet as possible if I did not slip away to another locale.

I recall one sister, after getting a good buzz on, commenting on her high maintenance 14 year old son. "I have to accept the fact that I have a sexually transmitted disease, Justin. I remember the moment of his conception. It didn't feel good then, and it hasn't felt good since!"

I clearly recall in the mid-seventies reading a woman's magazine like Red Book or some such publication in the doctor's office. In it was a survey and article about if mothers had it to do over again concerning their children, they would...
Have the same ones
Have none
Have fewer
Have more
Have only the ones I wanted

Over half of the women chose the last option.

When you make that transition into post parenthood, you will also understand why those of us who have, will not consider reenlisting. A lady I used to know felt that "Tom Cruise is the ideal boyfriend and he lives next door." It was because she treasured her peace and freedom. Given that, the male corollary may be that "Pam Anderson is the ideal girlfriend and she lives next door." There are two reasons for that: her teenage sons.

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Aug 14 @ 12:30PM  
making kids is fun and a snap.
raising them and earning the money
to do so, is quite another story.
i put in a long {email address removed}
for my long lost kids. they all found
me one by one, and their ma's did
too. i owed a kings ransom in retroactive
child support, and paid it in many ways.
they are all sooper dooper kids. better
off being raised without me around.
or by others, more suited and able.
to 'spalin i quote 'mister you're a better man than i' by the yardbirds.
if i kill in a war, i am killing someone's precious child.
its rather a matter of conscientious objection.
to be cryptic for security reasons, the symbionese
liberation army did more than you know.
there around 1974, as we withdrew.
gunga din, you're a better man than i.
yet india was liberated from the hated colonists.
of all kinds. expand at your own risk. 1954 dienbienphu,
the french surrendered to locals in the french indochina war.
the french foreign legion massacred to a man, a woman, and child.
france got the message. they withdrew. the history of the french
foreign legion is a most interesting study. in french it is-etranger legion.
a friend once wrote: happiness is a pigment of the imagination.
he also had a bumper sticker: who will arrest war for disturbing the peace?

Aug 14 @ 1:04PM  
It is worthwhile and the efforts, frustrations, and sacrifice will lead to rewards that you will reap later.

Amen! Greenie Bruce!

Aug 14 @ 1:38PM  
Finally have all three of mine out of the house. Not going back that route again. Love them but chidren are best cared for by those young enough to keep up with them.

Aug 14 @ 4:13PM  
I'm with shewolf on this one...had grandkids over the summer and NEVER again, at least not for that long!!

Aug 14 @ 5:26PM  
Well written... one of the best reposts especially since it is new to me! A greenie for you.

Aug 14 @ 8:35PM  
It is worthwhile and the efforts, frustrations, and sacrifice will lead to rewards that you will reap later.
I can agree with this

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Parenthood and the War at Home