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My own personal Chain Letter-Repost

posted 8/13/2009 12:56:31 PM |
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  DarkKnightWalking

Chain letters come and go...lately for me, I have seen them come around with a new vengeance. Now I am old school from way back in the days of dialup internet. The original dialup used to take like 5 minutes to load a single page, and that was on a good day. So back then, chain mails were hated worse than the plague by a lot of us PC tech/surfers, because they served one major purpose to us, that being they ate up a LOT of bandwidth and made the net slower still. ( 1 person sends to 10, 10 send to 100, 100 send to 1000, 1000 send....etc )

So I thought I would share the one I got from someplace gods know where, gods know how long ago, but it definitely sends a clear message about how I feel, and it seems to stop them for awhile....


Hello, my name is Dark Knight and I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe
that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Arkansas with a breast
on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed
before her redneck parents sell her to a traveling freak show.

Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and
everyone to whom you send "his" email, $1000? How stupid are we? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by
every good looking model in the magazine!" What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and
sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by
Peter in 5 A.D. and brought to this country by midget pilgrims on the
Mayflower. Fuck them.

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly
amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 10 of your closest friends, and
this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel
from some omniscient being" forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own
unpopularity. not to mention clogging up an internet thats slow already by the mass amounts of forwards.

The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to
leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If
it's funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty
about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead
elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter
he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your
underwear will turn carnivorous and consume your genitals.


Please feel free to borrow this one, insert your name and enjoy responding.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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Comments:

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sugarnspice005

Aug 13 @ 1:12PM  
You mean the ones that promise something good will happen aren't real? All those prayer ones...no miracle?

That just isn't fair!!!

No wonder I haven't seen the wealth that was promised if I forwarded the prayers...what a ripoff!
DarkKnightWalking

Aug 13 @ 1:13PM  
Sorry to bust your bubble, hun.
Wordsofwit

online now!
Aug 13 @ 1:17PM  
That is classic.
Cootiesprayer

Aug 13 @ 1:20PM  
Woo Hoo!!! i have a really good one to send now chuckle...thanks dkw. :o)
theSkwirl

Aug 13 @ 1:56PM  
Shit.. so that's what happened to my penis?
DarkKnightWalking

Aug 13 @ 2:01PM  


Yep, you didn't forward it the last time.

Toldya so....
ThePurpleProphet

Aug 13 @ 2:20PM  
A skwirl stole my genitals a long time ago.
casuallylooking

Aug 13 @ 6:53PM  
Now, DK...some of them really do come true.
I didn't forward one that said I would have really bad luck if I didn't send it out within 24 hours. I didn't send it and I fell off a ladder and sustained some serious injuries....



.
.
.
about 5 short months after they warned me...


.
StraddleMyNose

Aug 13 @ 9:39PM  
back in the days of dialup internet
Hell, I still have dialup

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My own personal Chain Letter-Repost