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posted 8/9/2009 9:38:01 AM |
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I am on another site somewhat like this to meet people. Last week i got a message from someone in my area that would like to get to know me and maybe meet. On this site i have my profile discreet so people have to ask me to see my pics. Turns out the guy messaging me is my soon to be ex husband. . (Our seperation has been like world war 3) When i realized who it was i decided to not show him my pics and message back and forth to see what he would say. Everything he is telling me is a lie....says he was never married, has no children, even lying about his physical description. I am getting a big kick out of everything he is telling me.

Last night he asked me if i would like to meet and get to know each other more in person. My question is should i accept and see what his reaction is when he realizes who has been chatting to. Or should i just keep chatting with him and let him dig a bigger hole for himself? I am enjoying myself stringing him along and i dont feel bad but just dont know if should ever tell him that is me that he has been telling these things to.

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Aug 9 @ 9:44AM  
If your divorce is as bad as you sat. Stay away. Making him feel foolish will just make him retaliate. What till everything is said and done and signed. Then tell him>

Aug 9 @ 9:59AM  
Ohhh....Hell woman....have fun with it.
JMHO, I'd encourage him to dig a really big hole with lies..........then meet up with him in some public him out.
And, laugh in his face.
Liars hate to get caught, mostly by those that will 'tell the tale'.

Just think of the fun you could have, years from now......explaining why you are not with him (his loss for being a loser)

Aug 9 @ 10:04AM  
I agree... definitely have some fun with it and don't tell him until the papers are signed.

Aug 9 @ 10:12AM  
Go for it Boo
Have some fun and then expose him for what he is!!

Aug 9 @ 10:16AM  
I suggest you be careful until after the paperwork is signed...then have at it. Enjoy yourself.

Aug 9 @ 10:16AM  
Since he is your 'soon to be ex', it would not hurt to print out his notes....and let your attorney know. THEY do have some humor to 'em, ya know?

Aug 9 @ 10:22AM  
GO with it girl!!! You may never have a chance like this again! You have the upper hand in this......PLAY IT!!!

Aug 9 @ 10:26AM  
I am having a great time reading the lines of bs he is giving be and probally other woman. What is really getting to me is him saying he has no kids when we have 2 boys together.

I have presented myself in truth to him and told him about all the trouble i have had with my ex and he is giving me advice to stick to him and make sure i get everything i can out of him.

And i have shown the emails to my lawyer but we are not going to use them because a judge can view what i am doing wrong and i am not going to take a chance...

But i am loving this. And i plan on keeping the online dialogue going. Oh and where he wants to meet is a bar where alot of our friends go to relax so if i meet him it will be in front of alot of people who know our situation

Aug 9 @ 10:33AM  
You know, I understand why you are deriving some pleasure from stringing your ex along, but in the long run this is harmful to your psyche. It really doesn't make anything better.
I suggest you be careful until after the paperwork is signed...then have at it.
I agree with being careful now... and later. Personally, I would not play this game... the variables of potential outcome are not in your favor. Plus, what good purpose does this serve? OK, you are divorcing, the divorce is nasty and you are learnnig AGAIN what a pain he is... why do you want to waste your valuable time on him when you are almost free.

I'm sorry, but I just dont "get" the pay-back, rub their nose in it ideology. It won't change anything and it could make a bad situation much worse. It isn't worth it... find a positive way to enjoy your life as that is truly the sweetest revenge... live well and baggage free!

Aug 9 @ 11:09AM  
You can't move forward until you stop looking back.

Aug 9 @ 11:30AM  
but i see ur pics

Aug 9 @ 12:20PM  
Personally, I would not play this game... the variables of potential outcome are not in your favor.
Wow, I worried there for a moment that I was the only one who was thinking this............and i understand that you probably feel that he deserves this ...................but while he is lying to are lying to him................just by the fact that you know who he is and that you are not interested in him...................and that's probably why your attorney said the judge would frown on it..............because you are lying too................

If the marriage is over's this point his fault, your fault, everyone elses fault.............doesn't matter...........the marriage is over.................move on...........and let him do the same.....................he has to live with himself............he can do as he pleases...........JMO

Aug 9 @ 12:36PM  
im sure he knows who you are by your pics! Maybe he is playin you

Aug 9 @ 12:37PM  
There is one very important person being overlooked, your child. We do not have a crystal ball and doing things like he and you are doing now will be of no benefit to child later on when they try to make sense of all of this.

Aug 9 @ 12:40PM  
If you send me some nude photos, I promise to give my

expert opinion on this matter!

Aug 9 @ 12:44PM  
First and foremost, I'm not an attorney, a paralegal or involved in the legal 'profession' in any way! But I have been to court a few times and learned a few things! And no- not for DUIs either!

Hate to sound like a party pooper here and I know you're having fun with this but, you may inadvertently find out a few things about your soon to be ex, you didn't know before and you may not like what you find later on! The emails you are collecting, apparently show deception on his part- which may or may not help you in court! But the emails from what I gather, don't imply any harmful intentions either- obviously!

Another thought I had, is that this may even backfire on you, in ways you haven't thought about yet- for instance, whatever evidence you glean from all this may, in your eyes, be evidence you can use in court but the court, may not necessarily agree with you, thinking [the court that is] that there was deception on your part too and may not allow it as admissible evidence and may even take a dim view of it all in the first place! If you haven't informed your attorney about all this, might not be a bad idea to do so!

I've been married divorced twice! I realized from the get go, to go through the motions with the info you need to gain a divorce, get the divorce and then walk away from it! It appears, you already have enough info to win your divorce!

Attorneys absolutely love it when the pot gets stirred a little more occasionally for their monetary gain of course! I wouldn't 'stir the pot' very often, get it over with and go on with your life!

JMO and good luck!


Aug 9 @ 1:07PM  
Just let it go. Stop talking to him. Get on with your life. I have been through a nasty divorce where my ex was stalking me all over the internet. The best thing to do is get out, make sure he is helping take care of the kids and move on.

Aug 9 @ 1:30PM  
his actions definitely provide validation for getting out of the marriage, but I'm not sure throwing them in his face is such a good idea. If he discovers it was you, he may seek retribution; it sounds like your goal is to end WWIII, not perpetuate it. I would show some restraint in this case.

... I suppose, though, that you could always arrange a fake meeting somewhere far-flung and simply not show up!

... but you probably shouldn't tempt fate.

Aug 9 @ 3:49PM  
Just another thought here -- maybe he KNOWS it's you and is playing you too -- the exes can be sneaky devils. You have two boys -- take the high road and be the kind of mom you want them to see you be -- this game might be fun, but not for the right reasons. Don't stoop to his level -- now that you've figured out it's him, you are, in essence, lying also.

Aug 9 @ 4:03PM  
I have to agree with a lot of comments by other AMD members.
(1) He probably knows it is your from the pictures.
(2) There are kids involved and you don't want this to bite you in the ass 10 -15 years from now.
My advice is to stop responding to him maybe even block him.

Aug 9 @ 6:15PM  
When i realized who it was i decided to not show him my pics
Guess a few of you didn't read this part of the blog

Aug 9 @ 6:34PM  
Another perspective. He may well be an asshole but what if the shoe was on the other foot and he knew you but you didn't know him? How would you feel when you found out?

Damn mad I'm guessing.

I don't know the man but I think I'd be very afraid of a man who will be damn mad when and if he finds out you're playing him for a fool. Women have been killed or beaten half to death for less reasons.

In my opinion, you're soul concern now is your kids. You need to get your priorities straight and change your focus away from this dangerous game you're playing.


Aug 9 @ 8:30PM  
I have presented myself in truth to him and told him about all the trouble i have had with my ex and he is giving me advice to stick to him and make sure i get everything i can out of him.

Take his advice?

Ok, seriously....this is a dangerous game to be playing. True, you were married to the man, and you know him better than the rest of us...but....if he finds out it's you, how can you be sure he will not fly off the deep end and do something stupid? I've seen court mentioned a few times, and I have studied law, and I can say right now, if this were to come out, he could use your deception against you as well. And with the way things are today, you could find yourself in front of a judge who may decide there could be harm of some sort to your children and decide to put them in foster care until the court is satisfied there will be no harm to the children. And looking at those isn't worth it to humiliate him. Be the better person and let it go.


Aug 9 @ 10:28PM  
I have to admit that finding out who he is and then knowing how many lies he has told you would make it tempting, but I have to agree with many others.
I would cut off all contact with him and go on with my life.

The trouble that you may later find from this may be a lot more than you bargained for.
And you do have two sons to think of and protect from any complications in your divorce.

You know he's lying and is an ass, so does he. What good would throwing it in his face actually do? He has to live his life knowing who he is.

Just my .02.

Aug 9 @ 10:48PM  
Honestly, while the petty side of my brain says, "STICK IT TO HIM SISTAH", the reasoning side of my brain says, how does this make you a bigger person?

It really kinda brings you down to a level that you don't need to see yourself from. So he's a lying bastard. But if you continue to play the game with him, you are a lying bastard also. See what I'm sayin here?

It may be less initially gratifying to not smear his shit all over his face, but in the grand scheme, you will have been a much better human being for saying, look, I know it's you, and I'm not going to play this game. Good luck in your future.

(besides that, then he will spend the rest of the time waiting for that other shoe to drop!)

Oct 9 @ 12:35PM  
you mentioned that everything he says is a lie, but you yourself are lying and decieving him. you may get satisfaction right now out of your own anger or resentment, but in the long run, you will be no better than him who is able to lie and decieve. so it boils down to what kinda person YOU want to be

i would tell him that you aren't his type and ignore him in the future and hope he doesn't hurt others by his own lies and deceptions....people deserve more than that.

if you are really getting a divorce, just save the conversations you already have, and that should be proof enough that he is cheating where the divorce can go YOUR way. but don't lie and decieve just to hurt another person. iut's not worth it and will make your own self worth lower than it can be

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