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THE SANDWICH MAKER

posted 8/2/2009 3:11:39 AM |
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  weylinalastair


ACT 3, SCENE 4
My friends got a boyfriend and she hates that dick….

Rista and Jamie are at a bar getting smashed on long island iced teas. They are both complaining about their love life.

Rista:
I don’t know what happened to him, like suddenly everything was my fault. I’ve been there for him for years Jamie, years. I’ve been there for him through poverty, arguments, everything. Suddenly it feels like it’s my fault that he got fired and that his friend turned on him.

Jamie:
It’s not your fault Rista, and I’m sure will this will all just blow over. Listen, it’s an argument and arguments happen. It’s a fact of life for relationships.

Rista:
That’s not the way it was supposed to be with us. We were supposed to have the perfect relationship, without arguments. I think today really showed me something. I thought I was married to a prince. Apparently I was wrong.

Jamie:
Come on Rista. I had issues with Johnny when we were in college. I thought he was a loser, but he’s really not that bad of a guy.

Rista:
I don’t know.

Re: her empty glass

It’s broken…

Jamie:
Need a refill? So do I. Now where is that hot ass waiter? Oh, there he is. Esteban, hey, Esteban.

Esteban enters.

Esteban:
Ladies, can I get you anything special?

Jamie:
Long Island Iced tea for my friend here, and I’ll have a margarita.

Esteban:
Salt rimmed or Sugar?

Jamie:
Better go with salt,


re: Esteban

I’m looking at all the sugar I need right now.

Esteban:
For you Jamie, anything. One Long Island, and one Margarita. Anything else?

Jamie:
Your phone number.

Esteban exits.

Mm, look at that ass walk away.

Rista:
Jokingly
Jamie, you slut.

Jamie:
What do you mean “slut?” I haven’t slept with him – yet.

Rista:
A slight pause
Sometimes I wish Johnny was more like Eric.

Jamie:
Quickly
Oh no you don’t.

Rista:
Well, not the asshole qualities, but his confidence I guess.

Jamie:
Oh yeah, Eric’s confidence. Eric’s so confident that he doesn’t pay his bills.
The man is a multimillion dollar actor and hasn’t paid one cent toward child support. He wants me to get a paternity test. He says he didn’t get me pregnant, that I just want his money.

Rista:
Well, you were dating that other guy when you started messing around with Eric. Are you sure –

Jamie:
Frustrated
Rista, I love you to death. I have to go to the bathroom before I slap the shit out of you.

Rista:
Oh Jeez Jamie, that was a boneheaded thing for me to say. I’m sorry.

Jamie:
Yes it was. It’s okay Jamie, I’ll be right back.

Jamie exits up stage left. Eric enters stage right talking on his cell phone.

Eric:
On phone
At nine, the shoot starts tomorrow at nine baby. Yeah. No, no, I’m not going to be out all night. No, I’m just going to have a couple of drinks and I’ll be up at the hotel in no time.

Eric notices Rista.

I – I’m sorry, what was that? Is that all you are wearing? Wow.

Looks at Rista again. Aside.

She’s here, but no sign of Johnny.

To the phone.

Look, honey, I’m not feeling it between us really. No, you heard me right. We’re through, now please get out of my room.

Hangs up phone

You were a bitch anyway.

Eric walks up to the bar and orders 6 shots.

Bartender:
Whats your poison?

Eric:
Six shots of crown please.

Bartender:
Six shots, coming right up. Hey, aren't you Eric Hol -

Eric:
Yes, yes thats me. How much do I owe you?

Bartender:
For you? On the house.

Eric:
A bit irritated
Thank you.

Eric takes the drinks and sets them down right in front of Rista.

Rista:
Hey, oh. Eric? What do you want?

Eric:
To share these drinks with you, catch up a little bit maybe? Is that okay?

Rista:
You have some explaining to do.

Eric:
Oh?

Rista:
You left Jamie pregnant, and fired Johnny.

Eric:
What?

Rista:
I don't want to talk too you right now Eric -

Eric:
Whoa, hey, wait a second. Those are some pretty heavy accusations you are making there.

Rista:
Piss off.

Rista stands to leave.

Eric:
Hear me out, please?

Rista considers leaving, then sits.

Rista:
You have about two minutes, Eric. And Jamie is in the bathroom. She is not going to be happy at all to see you here. All I have to do is call johnny, he'll be here in no time to beat your ass.

Eric:
Well, I guess there's no need to ask how Johnny's doing.

Rista:
You should know that anyway, you fired him.

Eric:
I didn't fire Johnny.

Rista:
Bullshit.




Eric:
No, listen, I didn't. I didn't even really talk to Johnny that much except to say hi. Our extras wrangler, Jim, goes crazy on him because he didn't have “the look” down. He called Johnny a no talent hack, told him to get the you – know – what off his set. I was pissed. If I got anyone fired, it was Jim. I went to ask Johnny to stay, and he was gone.

Rista takes a shot.

Rista:
What about Jamie?

Eric:
What about her? We had a thing for awhile, but ti fizzled. We had our arguments and split. My attorney latches on to the idea that her ex may have been the one to get her pregnant, not me. I know that the kid is mine, but they nearly had me completely convinced that she just wanted my money. They started in motion things I wish I could undo. I wish I could just write a check now and end the whole fiasco, but we have to wait for the paternity test results.

Rista:
I don't believe you.

Eric:
Rista, please. You know how Johnny is. Overly emotional at times, over exaggerating... You know how Jamie is too. Just think about it for a minute please.

Rista:
Well, he did yell at me for you firing him.

Eric:
Oh?

Rista:
Yeah. It's like that all the time too. I feel like half the time its my fault, and the other half, its yours. And we always argue over stupid stuff. I love him to death, but I don't know what's happened to us.

Rista takes another drink.

Eric:
You two still together?

Rista:
Yes – well – I guess as of tonight, no.

Rista takes yet another drink.

I guess – I should have seen this one coming.

Eric:
Hey – hey, Rista. Look at me. You are an awesome girl. Johnny, he is a nice guy but sometimes he doesn't know how to handle himself around women. Sometimes he pushes people away.

Rista:
I feel like he has no confidence in me either. He thinks my prints won't sell.

Eric:
Oh now, you know they will sell. Speaking of which, I was hoping to run in to you.

Rista:
Rista takes another drink and is starting to get visibly intoxicated.

I'm sure you were

Laughs.

Why?

Eric:
Eric slams the final two shots

My agent says I should open myself up to the public more. She wants me to do something I've been fighting for a long time, a private photo op in my dwellings. You would get paid top price. I only want to do this with someone I trust you see? And Rista, I trust you. I've see

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