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A word from Larry the Cable Guy

posted 7/25/2009 6:54:08 PM |
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A list of wisdom from my favorite cable guy.

A day without sunshine is like night.
2.. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.
10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'
22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow

Ok, lets start the weekend off with a smile.

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post a comment!


Jul 25 @ 7:10PM  
i love larry the cable guy............he is so funny............

Jul 25 @ 7:25PM  
Very funny stuff Sugar!! Thanks for the laugh!!


Jul 25 @ 8:51PM  
I love him too, but most of those aren't attributable to him unless he stole them.

My favorite from him:

What is Tulsa backwards?
A slut.
What is a slut backwards?
A hundred bucks.

Jul 26 @ 8:16AM  
Larry the Cable Guy on Newspapers
I was reading the paper the other day because my neighbor got up late.

Larry the Cable Guy on Mood Rings
One year my dad bought my mom a mood ring. Them things work pretty good. When she was in a good mood it was blue and when she was in a bad mood it made a red mark upside my dad’s head.

Larry the Cable Guy on Panties
I had a girl put on crotchless britches for my birthday one time. I come home, she was like, “want some of this right here.” i go, “No, look what it did to your underbritches over there.”
Larry the Cable Guy on Driving

Ever drive down the highway and a policeman gets up behind you? Then everybody goes two by two behind him. He’s like the interstate pace car. Then he gets off at the exits and we’re back to green flag racing!

Larry the Cable Guy on Diets
I’m on that diet where you eat vegetables and drink wine. That’s a good diet. I lost 10 pounds and my driver’s license.

Jul 26 @ 6:02PM  

Jul 26 @ 6:31PM  
Larry is a local & not have bad lookin.....Nice arms!!

Aug 12 @ 2:25PM  

That's funny right there.

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A word from Larry the Cable Guy