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The L Word....

posted 7/23/2009 2:46:59 AM |
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I'm going to start this out with
In My Opinion..........
The word love gets tossed around too easily by many people.
To me it's a word that comes with great meaning and not to be just thrown around or used in vain.

There are those who proclaim to love one day and hate the person the next.
Those who get confused about the difference of love and just pure lust.
And those who are completely obsessed with someone and think it's love...Remember Fatal Attraction?
Those who confuse kindness for love.
Those who abuse someone for their own good because they think it's showing their love for them.
And many other examples of what I mean by things just getting thrown into a catagory of love.

Have you ever told someone that you loved them because you felt obligated to, or because it was expected of you to return the phrase?
Said it to have sex with someone, get them to do something for you or buy you something you wanted?

To you, is there a difference in loving someone and being In love?

Even though there are many different types and explanations of real love, does the L word have as much of a meaning as it used to, or is it just an everyday word?

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Comments:

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NaughtyBoy424

Jul 23 @ 2:56AM  
First of all, I accept your premise that the term "love" is thrown about rather flippantly.

There are those who love one day and hate the next.
Those who get confused about the difference of love and just pure lust.


Are you sure you have a nuanced enough idea of love? There are different types of love, after all, and different aspects of each type (relational, for example).

What you describe sounds more like the daily humdrum of emotional caprice rather than love. That is not the firm rock on which to build a fulfilling relationship!
slohand_47

Jul 23 @ 2:59AM  
In my opinion............

IF you truly love someone, you can never hate them. You can not stand to live with them.... you can no longer be in a position to express any love..... that is, no longer be IN love with them...... but hate? nope.

I've been in love..... REALLY in love.... twice, and even though I'm no longer with either, I could never hate either one of them.
And that ties in with the being in love vs loving someone. I still love who they were, and what we had, and.... love them......... but it's not active or ongoing. Just a part of my life that's past, but not forgotten.

Nope, never used it for anything other than to express depth of feelings.
Looking4ever

Jul 23 @ 3:34AM  
Those are words that don't readily or easily cross my lips. Never have. Once I love someone I can never take it back. Yes, it might change some but I will always love the person I fell in love with.

Yes, to some degree, there is a difference between loving and being in love. But, then, love comes in all sorts of formulas. I've been lucky to be IN LOVE three times in my life. I still love all three of the men I fell in love with. The men I fell in love with...one man changed dramatically but I still love what he WAS, one man will always have a special place in my heart but we've grown up and changed and the other, well, yeah...
Ewe_Wish

Jul 23 @ 3:52AM  
I think that loving comes in degrees............you can love someone that you met online and never met in person.............but it probably won't be to the degree that you loved someone you were with......but really how important is it...........does saying I love you to more than a couple people lessen the meaning of love............I hardly think so..............Love is a wonderful thing.............why would you not want to love someone...........or want someone to love you..............do we have to limit the number of people we love to make that love stronger for others..........

Is it like a pot of chicken soup that was made for 4 and broth was added to serve 8. Yea it might not be quite as favorable as it would have been...........but everyone got some.........and it satisfied their hunger........

I love a lot of people...........have thought I was "in Love" many times, and maybe it didn't last or maybe I realized later I wasn't really in love with them..........but it was still some kind of love..........and that's better than none.

I happen to enjoy loving people, (and i am talking about love not sex) and I certainly will never feel bad for saying I love you to people......If you never tell anyone you love them..........and you hold back............that isn't going to make it stronger..........but there were probably a lot of people that needed to know you loved them in one form or another...........and how said they missed out in hearing it.........

I agree with slohand tho, If you truly loved someone, there is no way that you can ever hate them.........If it was really love.........and you two part..........you wish them well, because if you really loved them you hope that they do have a good life even if it is without you..........because true love is unselfish.

If a person falls in love many times, it is not any lessor of love than someone who just falls in love once.......And that is just my opinon

“Love wasn't put in your heart to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away.”

Michael W. Smith

NightOfOld

Jul 23 @ 6:44AM  
Quote

Love isn't love until you give it away.

I agree with that. I also agree with what Ewe is saying. Love is a word I do not use in passing. I have to really love someone to tell them I love them vocally.
And giving love away is not just telling a person you love them, you must show
your love in ways that say you really care.
Yet as Ewe said; There are many types of love. I try to show my love for my friends on here, and yes I said show. By letting them know I care about them and what happens to them. Unfortunately being on here. The only way I can do that
is through my blogs. Blogs of love, caring, and support. But love none the less.
You people have supported and shown your care for me as well. We are like a family here some of us. And it's only fitting and proper that we love, care, and
support each other.

Okay; I've run my mouth enough, I'll shut up.
wstang69

online now!
Jul 23 @ 6:50AM  
Ewe I would LOVE to see ifya could satisify my animalistic side

As far as hating one that you loved, yes it is possible. Last year proved that to me. Those of you that don't believe its possible, I hope neverhave the chance to be proved wrong. It is a very bad thing when it happens.
BritnBrat

Jul 23 @ 7:53AM  
Love and hate are polar opposites and to truly hate some one you have to have loved them first, but I do agree that it is a word that is said far too easily.
To me loving some one is missing them when they are not near not because of any physical relationship but because of who they are and what they mean to me. I knew right from the off when I met Crissy I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her and though I miss her tremendously I hide those feelings otherwise I would not be able to get on with life. I still hope that the issues that keep us apart will be resolved soon but I am prepared to wait for as long as it takes to be with her. To me love means being in a happy place, whether that is in a relationship or a home, it is the one emotion that can inspire and bring joy, love is the food of the soul. Okay you can all stop retching now! (Brit)
onehornytoad69

Jul 23 @ 8:17AM  
Personally...I believe Most Ppl don't have a clue to what Love is!!!
Some think..that Attraction..and Lust= Love!!! Some think..at the 1st signs of emotions..that its Love!!!
In my little Life...I have Noticed..that ...after time together..Most of the time..3 Months...the Lust/Attraction...Goes away..and whats left after that...is what you have!!!
Once I love someone I can never take it back. Yes, it might change some but I will always love the person I fell in love with.
I agree with L4E...

1.Have you ever told someone that you loved them because you felt obligated to, or because it was expected of you to return the phrase?
2.Said it to have sex with someone, get them to do something for you or buy you something you wanted?

3.To you, is there a difference in loving someone and being In love?

4.Even though there are many different types and explanations of real love, does the L word have as much of a meaning as it used to, or is it just an everyday word?

1. NO
2.Hell NO
3. Yes..(though I hate the saying.."I Love them..but I'm not In Love with them!! )
4. Love means Love to Me.....!! But I do know ppl that toss it out there..like it was Nothing!!!
girlcountry

Jul 23 @ 8:43AM  
I have to agree with Dayna on this ....saying I love you is a very important saying to me....I can't tell you how many times I say it a day to my kids, grandchildren, and especially my husband. I learned the hard way, that it may be the last time you get to say it.

Now, reading some of the responses concerning love and hate....I thought I loved some men in my life, I don't hate them, maybe hate what they did to me, but I don't hate them. I have learned that the opposite of love is not hate...it's indifference. Hate is still an emotion, you are still having feelings towards or about that person. When you can honestly say in your heart, that you're not angry with that person for whatever reason, and you know that you don't love them, then you have reached the stage of indifference. For example, my kids dad...for a lot of years, I hated him, for various reasons. Now, well, his well-being only concerns me from the standpoint of how it will affect my kids.

Ok....climbing off my soapbox....
RevDocLove

Jul 23 @ 9:10AM  
I love everybody...Well, almost everybody
max49

Jul 23 @ 9:20AM  
I have to agree with casuallylooking that the L word is thrown around to freely these days. I will not tell someone I love them just to get my way with them. I will not tell someone I love them unless and until the time that I feel I DO love them. Then and only then will I say I love you. I have had people tell me they love me but without those feelings for them I will not tell them I love them back unless I feel I really do. YES I DO think the word love is thrown around to freely and a kudo for you for bringing it up.
Ewe_Wish

Jul 23 @ 9:51AM  
Ewe I would LOVE to see ifya could satisify my animalistic side

Just what kind of sheep do you think I am?

As far as hating one that you loved, yes it is possible.

There was a time i use to believe that..................I thought i hated my ex husband.........but you know.............there was and always will be a part of me that cares for him..........he is the father of my children.......and there were good times.........and I got honest with myself in the role I played in the marriage..........takes two people to make a relationship...........and it takes two to lose it.................

as for hating..........what is the point...........while your bottled up with all this anger and pain...........the person you hate is going on their merry way.....and living life to the fullest........while you are spending all that energy on hate...........they spend it going around doing the things they normal do, they still sit in their favorite chair and watch tv, they still get to eat what they want to....................what I am saying is while you are hating that person and its making life rough for you.............they don't even know you are wasting your time hating them...........and they are out enjoying life.................If you want to get revenge..............the best way to do that is live well.................

Personally...I believe Most Ppl don't have a clue to what Love is!!!

Well love is like the truth............it's all in a persons perception of what it is.........maybe to you showing love wouldn't be a bouquet of wild flowers to others it would be..............whose to say what love really is..........how can you define it so everyone can understand it...........love is what you feel inside of you.....love to me is having strong feelings for someone, wanting their best over my own, wanting to spend time with them..........the special look, the special touch, and yes feelings of sexual desire does play a part............but its so much more............so much that I can't even describe to you what my perception is of love............so how can anyone know if someone else is truly in love or lust............and why would it matter..........only you need to know if you feel love for someone...........and hopefully the person that you feel it for................

JMO
Sunshine79

Jul 23 @ 9:53AM  
That word means nothing anymore.......
sarafinablu

Jul 23 @ 10:51AM  
All I know for sure is that it ain't here!
dmbchick420

Jul 23 @ 11:14AM  
Have you ever told someone that you loved them because you felt obligated to, or because it was expected of you to return the phrase?

Hell NO! That is so wrong!

Said it to have sex with someone, get them to do something for you or buy you something you wanted?

Again...hell NO! That is worse than saying it because you feel obligated!

To you, is there a difference in loving someone and being In love?

No....I think that is a cop out for people. Such as, "I'm sorry I'm just not in love with you anymore, but I do still love you.". Being in love and loving someone to me is the same thing. It's a play on words.....JMO.

Even though there are many different types and explanations of real love, does the L word have as much of a meaning as it used to, or is it just an everyday word?

Well...I don't know about other people, but I sure take the word seriously! If I say it, I mean it!

For people that say it because of the first 2 questions.....shame on you! I don't think playing with people's emotions is funny AT ALL.
shewolf53

Jul 23 @ 1:03PM  
Have you ever told someone that you loved them because you felt obligated to, or because it was expected of you to return the phrase?
No, that would be just wrong.

Said it to have sex with someone, get them to do something for you or buy you something you wanted?
No way. That is worse than wrong

To you, is there a difference in loving someone and being In love?
Yes, you can love a lot of people in the world. I might tell people I love them but I make sure the signals are clear on what I mean. I don't play with people's hearts.

Even though there are many different types and explanations of real love, does the L word have as much of a meaning as it used to, or is it just an everyday word?
I think it is used too much these days by people who have no idea of what it means. True love is not an emotion, it is a daily decision in your life. Sometimes it is the right decision and sometimes the wrong decision. But you have to decide every morning when you wake up that I am going to love this person today the way I did yesterday and the way I will tomorrow. I feel not understanding that is the reason the divorce rate is so high. Except in unusual circumstances where the other person does something so out there that it sort of sends their mate into shock. It happens, trust me on that one.


surv6969

Jul 23 @ 2:34PM  
I definitely think there is a difference in Loving someone and being in Love.

I am in Love with my wife.

I love my family and friends.

I was in Love with my ex, but I could never hate her. Maybe hate what she did to me but not hate her.

I am growing to Love some of my AMD friends but I am not in Love with them.

I also think sex does have something to do with being in Love. I am in Love with my wife and want to make Love to her every chance I have.

I love the rest of my family but am not interested at all in having sex with them.

Then there are my friends that I Love and wouldn't consider having sex with, then it gets confusing because there are friends I Love that I would love to FUCK but am not willing to...........well......................
Lisa46

Jul 23 @ 2:39PM  
Love?? Which kind? You have the love you feel for a friend, the love you feel for a signficant other, the love for a child, the love of an aunt, the love you feel for your siblings. The love you have for your parents I have a lot of love in my heart, its just used differently. When I say I love you to a friend it is because they have it. Yes they may break my trust, or break my heart but they will always have a piece of it. I use the L word to a select few that I consider "special" in my world. I also try not to say it to those who it makes uncomfortable. We are all different just like the L word
dmbchick420

Jul 23 @ 2:54PM  
I just wanted to clarify that when I said:

No....I think that is a cop out for people. Such as, "I'm sorry I'm just not in love with you anymore, but I do still love you.". Being in love and loving someone to me is the same thing. It's a play on words.....JMO.

that I meant as far as a significant other, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, person you are intimate with, or whatever.

I have friends that I love and children that I love and family that I love and obviously I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with them, so my answer was meant as far as who you are "with", so to speak.
flavorbuster

Jul 23 @ 5:35PM  
Lesbian I'm just being silly You mean real love like this guy sings.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZBUb0ElnNYhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZBUb0ElnNY
Lisa46

Jul 23 @ 9:20PM  
.."I Love them..but I'm not In Love with them!!


Sorry OHT, but I was in a relationship with a great guy! I loved him to pieces but I wasn't IN love with him. You say bullshit?? No I loved him like a friend, I wasn't comfy in more of the relationship. Do you love your sister-in-law?? Are you in love with her? Same thing JMO
31sunshine

Jul 23 @ 10:08PM  

Have you ever told someone that you loved them because you felt obligated to, or because it was expected of you to return the phrase?
One time and I quickly learned that I will never make that mistake again.

Said it to have sex with someone, get them to do something for you or buy you something you wanted?
Nope, I hate being manipulated and I wouldn't do it to someone else.

To you, is there a difference in loving someone and being In love?
There is a difference, I will always love my ex-husband but I was not in love with him for a while before we separated. I love the man I first knew, but not the man he is today.

JMHO
trickydick55

Jul 24 @ 6:37PM  
my opinion is, love is love, just that, nothing more. you either have it or you don't. if you have to ask what love is, or even debate what it is, or think you know, then odds are you never had or knew it if it was there. you know when you are in love, and you know when you're in lust. as for different kinds of love, I differ on that. you love your wife with same kind of love that you love you kids, your car, your boat, your pets, your friends, your job, the only difference being in the way you show it. the feeling of love for them is the same though. you show your love for wife , through intimacy and all it's percs, you show your love for children through hugs and spending time with them ,protecting them and teaching them, your pets though petting walking them, playing with them, your car and boat by the way you use them and take care of them, your friends through being there for them, and all of these things should be unconditional, especially so with wife and kids and friends, and gotta say pets too, as their love is so unconditional and forgiving, we should take lessons from them.I think the biggest misconception people have is they are in love with being in love. most people on this site are looking for love, the love of their life, their prince charming, knight in shining armor, all fairy tale stuff and feel good and sound good stuff, as if they can get dressed and threw their cupid bow and love arrows on shoulder and prance through here and find what looks good and shoot them and tag em and take em home and live happily ever after. boy if it only worked like that, but love is elusive, all too often what happens is only one way, thus all the "he done me wrong songs" sung all the time, usually from those looking for lust under the guise of love. as commercial says to make mayonnaise you gotta brake some eggs and to find someone to love and love you back you gotta meet people and you can't do that sitting in front of a computer gauging their pros and cons from a picture that you can't be sure is them and a profile that surely was written as a snaring device. you have to be in the same space at the same time to fall in love and/or be loved. and trust me,if and when you do fall in love, you will know.....................

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The L Word....