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Older Than Dirt (For All You Old Farts) LOL

posted 7/21/2009 6:33:05 PM |
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tagged: fuck, funny, memories, sunshine

(Even if this is a repost, it's great memories!!)

Asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'

'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.

'All the food was slow.'

'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'

'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the par t about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 19.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. And there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 21 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.'
When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room.
The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers--my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.
Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels[if you were fortunate])
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H greenstamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

Wow, I don't remember much of that.....But, when I read it I figured a few of yous on here would appreciate it.

Anybody wanna fuck?

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post a comment!


Jul 21 @ 6:40PM  
So we are old codgers I guess

Jul 21 @ 6:40PM  
shit, i'm older than dirt, and i'm really not that old.

Jul 21 @ 6:42PM  
Not telling my age then.


Jul 21 @ 6:46PM  
I am taking the 5th.

Jul 21 @ 6:46PM  
I remember when Dairy Queen was a damned good fast food place to eat now it has turned to shit .. KFC was the best around until Colonel Sanders died then Popeyes came into play.

Jul 21 @ 7:22PM  
Damn girl! did you have to remind us of our age!??!?!

Good blog!

Jul 21 @ 7:24PM  
Aw shit I am older than dirt but what struck me most was the similarities between the US and the UK as we had milk delivered, dimmer switches on the floor of the cars but we never had charge cards in fact we didn't have supermarkets until the 70's, not any that I can recall (I am after all very old).
Then to think of it we were no worse off for not having a lot of the luxuries kids these days take for granted in fact in some ways we were better off as we made our own entertainment and because there were no Nintendo's or computers we played with the other kids in the neighbourhood so we learned social skills.
I think I lived in the age of innocence where people were a little more respectful than they are now and we didn't have so much peer pressure. I must be getting old as I seem to yearn for the simplicity of my youth but then again perhaps it's just that I am becoming an old fart! (Brit)

Jul 21 @ 7:36PM  
yep older than dirt here too...

never had pizza either til I moved out on my own, never went to a drive in theater or to see a movie at all either I moved out and met my ex. We had one phone, one TV...Remember the 10 O'clock announcement on TV? "It is now 10 O"clock do you know were your children are?" I still say that to my kids and they look at me weird lol.

I had an old LP record player in my room that I listened too, that was my entertainment LOL.

Thx for bringing back old memories :)

Jul 21 @ 8:22PM  
Geeezzzzzzzzzz...I am older than dirt. Ouch!...............sorry...I still feel. Guess the coroner forgot to embalm me.

Jul 21 @ 8:36PM  
At age 65, I used to say I was dyslexic and read the numbers backwards- at 66, I can't say that anymore- at 67, suddenly, my brain will read my age correctly!


Jul 21 @ 9:06PM  
I remember 19 of the 25
How about one you forgot? Deposits on glass soft drink bottles.

Jul 21 @ 9:42PM  
When I was growing up "fast food" was wite-tailed deer...until we shot 'em...then they slowed down.

Nothing faster to cook than opening a jar of canned venison and a little barbecue sauce. Instant sandwich.

Jul 21 @ 9:44PM  
Do I get a prize if I remember 25 of 25? And yeah....despite the fact that I'm older than dirt...I wanna fuck.

Jul 21 @ 10:19PM  
Oh hell! Yes I remember all 25 of the 25 and some more too. I remember a gallon of gasoline costing 16 cents and you got a dish or cup or saucer if you filled up your tank. The dishes were glass not plastic and these days people call them depprssion glass and collect them. I remember washing machines that ran on gasoline not electric. Geesh!!! Dirt may be young compared to me.

Jul 21 @ 10:29PM  
Griz says how about push button transmissions, instead of gear shifts?
Transistor radios and we thought we were cool when we were able to get FM on them.
Wash boards that you raked your knuckles on.
Wash tubs for baths.

Hand mixers with the wooden handle that you actually had to turn.
Bobby pins.
Roller skates that fit over your shoes.
Popcorn that you poured in the pan and had to stand there and shake it over the burner.

Playing kick the can and stick ball.
High water pants.
Penney loafers.
Reel to reel movies

Wow, I guess we're both pretty old........


Jul 21 @ 11:10PM  
Hey CL, tell griz I remember them all. My parents had a Nash Rambler station wagon with push button transmission.

Jul 21 @ 11:23PM  
Being as we live in the south alot of that didn't go away until the 80's so no I'm not old ...29 again

Jul 22 @ 4:01AM  
Just call me Mr Dirt
After reading this blog i started to remember the good old days an thy were good old days kids could go out an play all day an you didnt have to worry about if some sex pervert was going to hurt your kid everyone watch your kids an thiers
People didnt have to lock themselfs in there homes at nite
so i guess im older then dirt

Jul 22 @ 4:52AM  

should I admit to having a transitter radio in the garage?? It is yellow and round and I think it only has am on it

Jul 22 @ 5:51AM  
Shame on you young Lady!!!
Thats ok...... at least Our "Golden Oldies" are worth listening too!!!!
Thanks for the trip!!!

Jul 22 @ 8:14AM  
I Know I am Not that old but I remember when the 1st McDonald's in our area was built. We had to be extra specially good and then we might go once a month.

Jul 22 @ 8:31AM  
All I've got to say is

Jul 22 @ 8:37AM  
I remember them all plus the ones everyone else posted..
Hell..I was old before the Dead Sea ever got sick!!
Phfttttttttt...Old fart

Jul 22 @ 1:16PM  
3, 4, 6, 14, & 23....i remember these. chuckle...this was fun thanks sunshine :o)

Jul 24 @ 1:10AM  
First car was a studebaker GT Hawk :)

Jul 26 @ 10:01PM  
25 out of 25

Jul 28 @ 6:57PM  
Star trek disc shooters(awsome) also Hot Wheel Sizzlers!

Aug 15 @ 9:38AM  
Well, I remember all but one or two of them ...all stuff familiar to me from the good ol' 1960s ...but as far as being older than dirt? LOL! At 51, I'M not older than dirt, but at 81, my mother's older than dirt! You know, today's 50 is like being 40, or even younger? Hell, even my mom, at 81, is still working in a professional job 40 hours a week and goes to church every Sunday morning and night and Wednesdays and drives 66 miles to visit with my sister every Saturday morning. "Dirt" gets around, it would seem. LOL.

But those products listed sure brought back some memories. Here's a few more:

Sno Cone machine
Easy Bake Oven
Hula Hoop
Those goopy monsters you baked in the oven thing...can't recall their name.
Nancy Drew books (I had almost the entire collection)
Trixie Belden books (ditto)

And those are just a few...!

The '60s and '70s were the best decades ever. EVER!

Aug 15 @ 10:32AM  
I remember all of that except for the ice box. But I don't remember not having a TV. I will give you a greenie for that post.

Most men had been out of the country. For many is was a costly trip, their lives in WWI or WW II

All credit cards were for oil companies or department stores.

There was no such thing as a plastic bag.

On beverage cans, there were no pop tops and cans were made of tin.

The only thing on FM radio was classical music, but nobody had an FM radio.

Air conditioning was unheard of.

Laundry was hung out to dry on a clothes line.

The dishwasher was human.

In my neighborhood, there was only one divorced woman and she was the only woman that worked outside of the home.

If the whole family went to the movies, it was a drive in.

Aug 15 @ 5:54PM  
well im older then dirt but i can still fuck great and eat pussy

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Older Than Dirt (For All You Old Farts) LOL