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U Bitches Just Don't Get It, Do U?

posted 7/19/2009 11:47:47 AM |
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  DickSlippery

Women have no idea just how good they have it when it comes 2 getting laid. If a woman wants 2 fuck, anytime of the day, anytime of the year, the full extent of the effort she has 2 put N2 it is 2 walk up 2 the first man she finds attractive and say, "Excuse me? Would U like 2 fuck?" and there is a fairly good chance she is going 2 get a yes for her troubles. I admit that some bitches are unlucky by nature, and it is possible that the first guy she sees is a homo. Even then she still has a 50-50 shot. But if she does get a NO all she has 2 do is move on 2 the next one. I guarantee it wont take more than five or six minutes until she scores. Probably less than that if she's cute, cause the homo is probably going 2 change his mind.

Men, on the other hand, have quite a different experience whenever they get horny. If a motherfucker doesn't have a chick or a fat sack of dope or looks like Lorenzo Llamas, then the only way his pecker is getting damp is at an hourly rate. The only exception 2 this rule is if the homo's still around. That's why we jack off so much. Well...that and any other justification we can think of at the time. Actually, thats not true. We'll think of a reason 2 jack off anyway. Its what we do. There's no stopping that from happening. Just 4get I said anything about jacking off, ok?

But women dont get this. They think that because it is so easy whenever they want it, then the same must be true 4 men. WRONG! Thats just not how it works, ladies. I have spent 10 and 12 hour blocks of time just focusing on this problem. No luck. All I wanted 2 do was fuck. Is that such a crime? Its not like I play hard 2 get, either. Im a fucking slut. I'll even fuck a chick I dont like if she's cute. And I'll fuck a chick who isn't cute if I'm drunk. And if I'm really, really drunk? Well...all Im going 2 say is keep that homo away from me.

There's nothing 2 be done about it, of course. They'll never admit it. U could be chilling at the mall and say 2 Ur bitch, "Baby, I need 2 prove this. Ask this guy 2 fuck U. Its ok...I want U 2." and she would be all, "No way! I'm not going 2 embarrass myself like that! He'd just say no anyway!" and she'd never do it. Unless she's a tramp, that is. Because tramps exist outside the norm. They may or may not fuck U (only the tramp knows who she is going 2 fuck. There's no way 2 predict it)...it depends. But Ur woman is going 2 act like she already did and make Ur life a living hell until U get rid of her, anyway.

U see, tramps are an interesting case. All of the functional workings of a woman, but the brain of a man. 4 whatever reason (its probably also the way we get serial killers, cross dressers and the French) they just dont think about sex the same way other chicks do. Often enough, if a tramp thinks that U are cute she will walk up and say, "wanna fuck?" AND OTHER BITCHES HATE THEM 4 IT! U show me a chick who is a tramp, and I guarantee U that all of her friends are guys. Not one girlfriend in the bunch. Why? BECAUSE OTHER BITCHES HATE THEM, that's why. Every now and again two tramps might start hanging around together and look like they are friends, but thats usually short-lived and not really the same thing anyway. They can't be around eachother 4 2 long because eventually one of them will fuck the other one's man. Or her son. Or her dad.

Tramps really can't catch a break. They catch it from all directions. The straight womern hate them because not only do they know that their man has a decent chance of getting N2 that tramp's panties, they also know that he knows it 2. At that point it no longer matters what the bitch does. If her man shows ANY interest in the tramp she is GONE! And don't let that bitch leave any make-up or clothes or shit like that, either. If she does that shit is gone 2!

Let's say that Barbie forgets her MAC foundation at Theresa's house, and later that same night Theresa' catches Derek checking out Barbie's ass. Even though Barbie really had nothing 2 do with it, when she shows up 2 get her shit Theresa's going 2 be all like,"Uh-uh girl U didn't leave it here. Ain't that that really expensive shit? Yeah, that's why I use Wet and Wild." And then when the white bitch leaves she'll be like, "fuck that tramp." and she'll give it 2 her four year old 2 use on her dolls or paint the sidewalk or whatever. Fuck is she gonna do with it? The shit's like four shades 2 light. But what she aint gonna do is give it back 2 that TRAMP!

Barbie didn't do anything 2 deserve this and she knows it, but she can't do shit about it. Until she runs N2 Derek at the store, that is. Trust me...it don't take much. And B4 he fucks her she is gonna convince him 2 replace all of her make-up. Then, After he fucks her she talks him N2 getting her a 2005 Corvette. The funny part of it is that Barbie never even would have looked twice at Derek if Theresa hadn't freaked out and kept her shit. I mean, everybody knows he doesn't have a dick!

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Comments:

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DickSlippery

Jul 19 @ 11:50AM  
Hookers hate tramps 2, but 4 an entirely different reason. They just hate them because they are bad 4 business. Think about it...if U are selling blowjobs U don't want some bitch sucking cock 4 free around the corner, right? That would be silly. But instead of trying 2 get rid of them (hookers understand that no man is going 2 make a bitch that gives him pussy go away. He'll just see her when his woman ain't around) hookers will just convince them 2 quit giving it away. Then if she starts selling pussy along side her they get along just fine. So long as its just business then there are plenty of GI Joes 2 go around. After awhile hookers get lazy anyway. If he isn't a regular and the rent is paid 4 the day she doesn't even want 2 fuck with it. She's glad 2 have another bitch around just so she can take a break from looking at strange men's dicks. U thought getting cock shots in Ur email was bad? Sister, U don't even know.

I 4got what I was fucking talking about. Seems like it was important...like maybe I never even made my point. If thats what happened I apologize. I spent all night trying 2 get some pussy and quite frankly I am tired. Mistakes happen. U might think that one of these bitches could do something about it...U know...hook a brother up? Not a fucking chance. They ran off all the tramps, the're aint no reason 2 fuck now. Unless she wants 2. If she wants 2, that's different. Then SHE'S IN THE MOOD! But let's face it. Watching her man horn dog after every skirt he see doesn't go a long ways 2wards getting her in the mood, so it could be awhile until she wants 2. I wouldn't hold my breath, anyway.

Now Im drawing a complete blank, so I guess Im done!

Keeping U posted

DS
Sunshine79

Jul 19 @ 11:55AM  
I'd give it to you everyday.........
whisperingcomet

Jul 19 @ 12:07PM  
LOL...Dicks back...
sarafinablu

Jul 19 @ 12:10PM  
You are one crazy dude!!! Thanks for the laughs!
DickSlippery

Jul 19 @ 12:11PM  
I'd give it to you everyday.........

Says the girl who lives 3000 miles away. Am I lucky or WHAT?


DS
Wordsofwit

Jul 19 @ 12:33PM  
I recall an interview with actor Elliot Gould in Playboy many years ago where the interviewer asked him, "What does a woman have to do to be good in bed?" He replied, "Show up."
pulgo

Jul 19 @ 12:37PM  
i think we live in a competetive society the fastest wins the good looking gets attention the female carries the human race forward the male only contributes and the queen owns the lord owns the master owns the servant owns the wench
Looking4ever

Jul 19 @ 1:39PM  
Poor Dickie....

Even when a woman is down on her knees and you have her by the hair, she still has you by the balls. Ain't it a bitch?
featherone

Jul 19 @ 1:43PM  
Hey DS, long time
DickSlippery

Jul 19 @ 1:46PM  
Even when a woman is down on her knees and you have her by the hair

Dont lie, L4E!!!

U know U wanna be that girl!!!


DS
DickSlippery

Jul 19 @ 2:12PM  
SHIT!!!

I 4got 2 tell U guys this part, U know...um...cause I hadnt made it up yet, but when Barbie and Derek were doing it she told him that he was "about average size".

DS
Lisa46

Jul 19 @ 3:35PM  
but when Barbie and Derek were doing it she told him that he was "about average size".


its been so long for me I'd believe 4 inches is average
flavorbuster

Jul 19 @ 4:37PM  
Even when a woman is down on her knees and you have her by the hair, she still has you by the balls.
Ain't it a bitch?
She might be .... ...
TastyCupcake

Jul 19 @ 5:49PM  
I 4got 2 tell U guys this part, U know...um...cause I hadnt made it up yet, but when Barbie and Derek were doing it she told him that he was "about average size".


She was being diplomatic. She had to think of something before she drifted off from boredom and lack of sensation.
RevDocLove

Jul 19 @ 6:11PM  
"Excuse me? Would U like 2 fuck?"

I used to do that when I was a kid!!! Got my face slapped a lot but
I sure got laid a lot more
ksk72

Jul 19 @ 7:22PM  
AND OTHER BITCHES HATE THEM 4 IT!
aint that the truth

did also find it kinda odd how well you know your make up brands
belle1010

Jul 20 @ 3:38PM  
If only it were that easy LOL. Hmmmm maybe it is, I just haven't tried to get any in a while.

Oh well, like Sunshine I'd give it to ya everyday, possibly even multiple times a day. You're just too damn far away!!!
Looking4ever

Jul 20 @ 3:43PM  
You're just too damn far away!!!

Tricky Dick lived within 15 minutes of me (I think I also went to high school with relatives of his) and he NEVER called...and now he bitches? Ha!
theSkwirl

Jul 20 @ 6:46PM  
Damn skippy I get it.. and I'm damned glad of it!
belle1010

Jul 20 @ 10:51PM  
Ohhhh my furry friend, I'd be really tempted to give it to you anytime you wanted too
LongLegsLooloo

Jul 23 @ 11:20AM  
OP, if you're having trouble getting laid, I can assure you it's not simply because you're a male.

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U Bitches Just Don't Get It, Do U?