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Do Men Have Emotions?

posted 7/10/2009 8:24:45 PM |
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tagged: fuck, men, nsa, emotions, sunshine

I know it's hard as a lady to have an NSA relationship with someone & not get emotionally attached. I know I was with the same person in an NSA relationship for 6 years when I finally said something I shouldn't have. I said 'I love you'.

Now, I didn't say it like you normally say it. The conversation sorta went like this-
I said "You know, I know more about you than you think I do. I know all your little quirks and it makes me love you all the more!" Yeah, I was under the influence, but it was the truth. I've come to love this guy. I was use to him. I enjoyed being with him.

After that incident, we've only seen eachother about 5x's.

But, the other nite, I got to thinking. Do men get emotionally attached? Do men get used to one female and do they think lovey things about us like we do them?? Or do they hide it?

I often wonder after being with someone that is an exculsive NSA relationship with me, if they think about me like I think about them. I mean, I dream about them. I can't wait to see them again. I masturbate to them. I think about the kisses. Do men think like this too or is it just us ladies?

Give us the scoop.......

Anybody wanna fuck?

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Jul 10 @ 8:32PM  
This is a no brainer. I guess you mean, do men manage to develop emotions during an NSA encounter? Yes; although I'm not a dude- I say yes.

If its something that can never be, he's smart enough to let it go before it gets too heavy. Someone was smart enough to do so today..probably the best for both of us in the end.

Jul 10 @ 8:41PM  
I'd like to see some male answers to this one too. C'mon guys......

Jul 10 @ 9:02PM  
Yes but it for sure depends on the individual I think asking if men think or feel this way is the wrong question. I'm kind of a sensitive dude though so maybe I'm not the best guy to answer this question.

Jul 10 @ 9:05PM  
I'm kind of a sensitive dude though so maybe I'm not the best guy to answer this question.


Jul 10 @ 9:26PM  
I'm waiting to see the other guy's answers. At least one isn't afraid to answer. C'mon guys...answer the ladies are waiting.

Jul 10 @ 9:55PM  
Personally, I have a hard time sleeping with someone that I don't have an emotional connection with. But, hey...doesn't that just make for better sex??

Years ago, I had a NSA relationship that went on for about ten years. You don't sleep with someone that long without some emotional attachment. Yes, I thought about when I wasn't with her and yes, I did masturbate thinking about her.

And yes Sunshine....I wanna fuck!!

Jul 10 @ 10:09PM  
Guys have emotions but don't like to show them. I should say they don't show them. In my military career, I have seen many men that wanted to cry when they lost a good friend but it was not the time or the place. Guys get different signals. One is to be strong all the time. The other is to show feelings. You can't have both.
When my wife died and parents died, I didn't shed a tear. I wanted to but I felt I had to be stong for the "family" It was expected. When my dog of 15 years had to be put to sleep, I went home (in private) and sobbed uncontrollablely.

Jul 10 @ 10:13PM  
we do but we dont show it

Jul 11 @ 12:13AM  
Women are more emotional creatures, than men are- it doesn't mean women aren't intelligent or can't reason! They simply handle matters differently, than men do!

Men look at things from a more pragmatic stand point! Men can be emotional under the right circumstances! We're not beings walking around with out a conscious!



Jul 11 @ 12:20AM  
Do Men Have Emotions?
Yep Horny and hungry.........

Ok in all reality.........Jumpback said it better than i could.........

Guys have emotions but don't like to show them. I should say they don't show them. In my military career, I have seen many men that wanted to cry when they lost a good friend but it was not the time or the place. Guys get different signals. One is to be strong all the time. The other is to show feelings. You can't have both.

Jul 11 @ 12:23AM  
Personally, I have a hard time sleeping with someone that I don't have an emotional connection with. But, hey...doesn't that just make for better sex??

Wanna work on developing an emotional connection?

Jul 11 @ 12:24AM  
Hi Sunshine! I do think like that too ........... think wondrous things about them and CANNOT hide them. CANNOT keep it inside and HAVE to say I LOVE YOU. I think you did pretty good for six years! Don't know if you checked my profile before when we had a casual conversation but I don't think I am capable of having a real NSA relationship ........... there is always something missing .......... to each his own and everyone is different ..........

Jul 11 @ 12:37AM  
now hang on Ewe_wish, i totally resent that off handed comment of yours girly.
you totally forgot beer in the middle of those.

* and why are all the guys standing around out back whispering ; should we let our guards down and let them know or should we keep making out we have no idea what they're on about .

Jul 11 @ 12:42AM  
Yep Horny and hungry.

online now!
Jul 11 @ 12:47AM  
Yes, I do have emotions...and the more I learned to let them out the more I felt the pain. I got in touch with my feelings and I learned to feel the pain of unrequited love, of love that was beyond the pale, of love that was lost before the words "I do" were ever spoken. Do I dream about others? Yep. Do I masturbate to the dreams of love that was fleeting but so real that it has penetrated my soul? Yep. Do I hurt sometimes and feel totally fulfilled other times? Yep.

I feel alive.

Jul 11 @ 1:15AM  
I think the danger, passion and excitement that are ingredients for
great sex are partly the result of liking someone enough that it becomes
mentally and emotionally risky due to the fact that if it ends or they dump
you, you'll get hurt or even depressed.

That's my answer!

Jul 11 @ 5:57AM  
Everyone is different...!!!!
My 2 cents....are....
I have done the NSA thingy..and It worked fine!!! (untill the ladies fell in love!!! )
Its a Mind set...(I am speaking only for myself!!)
If i know from the start..that its a NSA..thingy.....than..I wont allow go Past that!!! Knowing..that if I do..I would prolly..end up..with my Feelers hurt!!!
I have learned..that "I Choose"... to wait for Someone without just a lil better than... Great Exercise!!

Jul 11 @ 9:08AM  
99% of my relationships have been NSA.....Even with wives..
I just wasn't programmed to be monogamous

Jul 11 @ 11:55AM  
I think that the majority of men are less inclined to get to think about a woman romantically. To an extent, a woman can be nice and fun to be around, but not necessarily special. That works for us. For many women, if the guy is not special to them, it will not work for them.

Jul 11 @ 12:24PM  

Sorry to hear about your troubled situation.

The answer is yes, men have emotions, but the numbers of men who are quite sensitive and emotional beings is vastly less than your normal woman.

Most men you will develop relationships with are much more likely to be afraid of having an emotional connection with someone rather than welcoming to having such feelings - if they are able to make real connections at all.

As with all humans, there are no absolutes, but this is what the odds are what society and culture has yielded...

Jul 11 @ 3:24PM  
I think it comes down to men do have emotions...but most aren't going to admit to being sensitive to tender ones...

Jul 11 @ 4:02PM  
Everybody's point is very valid. I can't disagree with anyone. It may be a matter of the intensity of the emotions to an extent, but more in how most of us choose to respond to the emotions. I am not a good person to speak because even if I am involved with something or somebody, there is a significant objective side that is always detached from it.

Jul 11 @ 4:04PM  
Men have emotions. They do seem to express them different. Having found mister right I had to end it with a couple NSA guys. I was shocked at how mad they got and how really attached to me they were. We get dumped we cry get an get sad. I found it odd all the guys I dumped got angry.

Jul 11 @ 4:49PM  
Men are not robots....

However, when that little four letter "L" word comes into play in ANY form, in ANY sentence...

It changes the playing field. Always.

Jul 11 @ 6:15PM  
Men are more complex than you think- and for us, the sort of feelings that cause us to want to be tied down to someone forever are not always present even we truly do care for someone.

It's not just a binary system in which you have feelings for someone or you don't. You can feel anything from simple fleeting lust, amicable friendship, affection, close friendship, infatuation, to love, or any combination of them.

Now I know women are like that as well- but the perception out there is, that if she says "I love you" guys will tend to assume you are looking for a ring- so they bolt.

BTW- exclusive NSA is an oxymoron. Exclusivity is a string. A biiiiiiiiig fucking string. That's more like a marriage except you don't tell say "I love you". So, um... I guess I should say it's basically like marriage.

Oy. A few weeks ago, you wanted a group of two or more men who shared you, but could not fuck other women. Now you're talking about a guy being committed to being exclusive with you, but the relationship is still officially NSA? Where the hell do you find these people? Are you an uber-wealthy sugar-mamma? Are you the best lay on the planet, bar none? Heavily armed and with a pushy streak? These are all relationships that I would classify as somewhat unfair.

Jul 11 @ 6:54PM  
However, when that little four letter "L" word comes into play in ANY form, in ANY sentence...

It changes the playing field. Always.

Translation: If a woman likes the dickie, she tends to get sticky.

Jul 11 @ 7:00PM  
exclusive NSA is an oxymoron. Exclusivity is a string. A biiiiiiiiig fucking string. That's more like a marriage except you don't tell say "I love you".

Naw, it is just crotches going steady until something better with more potential comes along. All and all, it's just a another dick and a hole with a comfort zone. Seeing it for anything else is putting lipstick on a pig. Oink on until something with more potential shows up but don't believe it is more than it realistically is.

Jul 12 @ 8:00PM  
I think evild614 and wordsofwit made interesting points.

Jul 12 @ 9:05PM  
I had a relationship with the National Security Agency once...... oh wait... can't talk about that here...

Can I have a NSA and not get attached? Yes.

However, this doesn't mean I don't care about the person I'm doing it with. Sex is sex, and relationships are relationships, and you can have one without the other either way. And I have had it both ways. But I don't do it with people I don't like, so I have to at least care for them as a friend.

My opinion, relationsships with sex are the best, and friends with benefits is great to. But everyone has their own opinion, and nothing works for everyone, all the time.

There is my two cents.

Jul 12 @ 10:56PM  
Lets have a NSA and find out

Jul 13 @ 9:09AM  
I think all guys are different and some show more emotions than others and it depends on who they around when they show emotion. Most guys won't show much emotion around other guys unless it is someone they are very close with. My husband has no problem being emotional around me. I have seen him cry many, many times.

As far as a NSA relationship, I don't really know, but I would tend to think that most men would not have much emotion in a relationship like that unless something more developed down the road.

Jul 13 @ 12:35PM  
For the most part I think dmbchick is right about most guys not showing emotion around other guys.
My best friend my senior year was a girl that I wanted to be more than just friends with but never got the balls up to say anything to and I truly do regret not trying. I still think about her.
The first lady I dated after my divorce I fell for but she broke it off because of shit she had going on. Then she wanted to get back together and I told her that I didn't want to play those games I just went through that kinda crap with my ex. So she wanted to be "friends with benefits" of coarse I thought that sounded awesome. When we tried I found it quite awkward. I think it was because of how I had felt for her. Now if we hadn't had something before I think "friends with benefits" could have worked.
I think most guys do think like you Sunshine but there are those assholes out there that are all about themselves, I know some women like that also.

Jul 15 @ 9:50PM  
we have them..were not from Pluto BTW. Do wehave emotions..used your head!!!

Jul 15 @ 11:12PM  
Ok Here is the short end of it. As a guy yes of course we have emotions and yes we do feel them the same as you women do. Infact we feel alot more in depth then you give us credit for. For example, when I am with someone I can't stop thinking about them when they are not around. Even the annoying things they do I think about and miss. When a Woman is in my life she becomes my number 1 priority and everything I do in life is for her.

does it hurt me as a guy to loose the women I am with? Yes of course it does and it hurts so bad I don't eat for days especially when I really loved her. I just reciently went through thjis actually and believe me I was a mess. But the4 fact is we feel the same as you in pretty much every way.

Now here is some free advice. You women love to be appreciated with out it you end up looking elsware. Us guys on the other hand need to feel admired like we are your white knight here to save the day and that we provide for you well or we end up looking elseware. What you don't know about a guy is that we are fearcly loyal, although alot of men out there are just pervs and love to just sleep with you and run off. Us good ones like myself for example are out for one thing and that is to find true pationat love.

Anyway thats just my 2 cents on a couple of topics.


Jul 16 @ 2:45PM  
As a guy who's been around, I've had a lot of different kinds of relationships over the years.

Some of them have been allegedly NSA, but therein lies the problem: SOMEONE always attaches in some fashion.

I've been with women where "it just happened" and we both had a good time, so when things began to happen again at a later date, I've stopped, taken the time to explain clearly that I was NOT looking for any form of commitment or relationship, and to say that I was fine with stopping and going back to being friends, letting what had happened before simply GO.

And invariably, they've not only assented, they've also stated the same back to me. "Oh, me neither. The other night just happened, but I'm not looking for anything, nope, no sirree. I'm fine with this staying AS IS."

Then some time passes, and eventually they deliver an ultimatum, typically in a nasty fashion. "You're either WITH me, or you're NOT, pal!" (That's the nice version.) And once I'm NOT (because yeah, if you've developed feelings for me, then getting nasty and having a threatening tone is just SURE to make me want you all the more) then they tend to cut off entirely, bad-mouth me to whomever will listen, etc.

Or there's the flip-side. I start feeling attached. Develop feelings for the person which I recognize as being MORE than merely NSA.

I don't dick around forever; I make the opportunity to talk, let them know that we may have agreed to NSA but things are changing for me, I'm getting feelings and I want to discuss it NOW before I get in too deep.

Those tend to go better. She's getting feelings too, or she's not and makes that clear -- which clears it up in my mind as well. I've been around the block, I have NO illusions that "I can keep going, she'll fall for me eventually because she'll see how darned GREAT I am!"

Women do that; think they can sleep their way into your heart despite having had disinterest in more stated clearly.

Here's the hint: If he's getting feelings for you, if the situation is changing or WILL change on his end, he'll let you know. Otherwise, just assume that it's still NSA. Better still, if YOU (women) are getting feelings, don't deliver an ultimatum unless what you really want is to break up entirely. Have some balls about it, for goodness sakes!

Further, if you DO go off your rocker and deliver an ultimatum, be ready to get used, because either he's out of there ASAP or he'll nod, smile, go along with you in order to continue getting laid WHILE looking around for a woman in whom he's actually interested in THAT way, which is what's been going on all along.

That's the thing about NSA -- it does NOT last forever because whichever partner isn't attached is always on the lookout for the REAL relationship.

This is NSA I'm discussing, not extra-marital. Different set of conditions to consider.

Jul 17 @ 2:27PM  
Hi Sunshine, I can say this man thinks emotionally about his partner. The longer am with you I know what will turn you on to a new highs. All I can say is find a man

Jul 18 @ 11:35PM  
Of course we do. We are not robots(someone please hand me the petri dish so that I can further the species). The one fear I have is that women start thinking like men! I cannot speak for other men but if Iam dating a woman who I love to be with reguardless of the situation ..whats the problem??? Its all about the ever elusive connection. It just seems harder to see it.....We have all had that "one". And since it didnt work out were going to even greater leaps to get it again,Hurray..I think its what makes the clock tick.

Jul 19 @ 1:34AM  
I suppose it depends on the chick. There are a few women I have bedded towards whom I have no feelings whatsoever. And then there are those like U. I spent one night chatting U up on IM and B4 I even knew it was happening I was fucking SPRUNG!

Of course, all that really tells us is that NSA is probably not an option here.



Jul 19 @ 9:19AM  
Hmmmmmmmmm sounds to me like celebacy and masturbation are the only true ways of avoiding all this hullabaloo!!!

Jul 19 @ 1:18PM  
well yeah im guessing we are all human lol so some guys are no different i get emotionally attached when i get used to someone but i try not to anymore simply because *big suprise* i often get used by women i know its supposed to be the other way round but there ya go lol :)

Jul 20 @ 12:52AM  
well i say guys do have emotion its just some of us that are brought up a certain way that do the things he did to you

Jul 21 @ 9:17AM  
I am sure there are men who can have a NSA relationship and not become emotionally involved....these are the same men that will fuck your mother when your not looking. For most men and women it is impossible to not have an emotional connection after awhile. Its really a good way to end a friendship.....but damn the sex is GOOD!!!

Jul 11 @ 5:11PM  
I suppose the first thing I ought to say is that I have never been in an NSA relationship. Actually, I'm not even sure there really is such a thing. It maybe just a way of saying something like "I don't want to commit" or "I'll fuck you, but I don't want to love because I'm not sure I know how". (Do I need to repeat that last one...?)

Even if it were just about sex there are still strings. In case you're wondering how, it's real simple, the sex is the string. You can't have an ongoing anything where there aren't some kind of strings attached.

I suppose I ought to also say that I'm somewhat biased because I'm a completely incurable romantic. The feeling I get from going out on an occasional night on the town with a candle lit dinner, a carriage ride, hand-holding, gentle caresses, and stolen kisses is absolutely indescribable! Then too, I'm also the type of guy that can spend two hours in foreplay. It is such a thrill for me to experience a woman go crazy with passion and ecstasy. Besides, for me it's just a hell of a lot of fun getting to know my partners body. The things that REALLY get her motor going! I think somehow during the sexual revolution we lost touch with the idea that e-zones are just as important a g-spots. Maybe more so if experience is an indicator. I have to admit is is really a sight to behold when you've spent some time finding all a woman's little e-spots and then when you finally do touch her g-spot she goes into a whole nother dimension. And I have to admit it is pretty nice knowing that it was your rocket power that got her there. (Hey, I not totally free of ego....)

I'll conclude with this. If there really were no strings attached to your relationship, ask yourself why he's seen you again at all? Better yet, why are you seeing him? And finally, your guy doesn't know it, but he is missing out on something pretty special. But that is something for another time and another place....

Bottom line. Was it really just about sex?

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Do Men Have Emotions?