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The Boyfriend again

posted 7/7/2009 6:58:33 PM |
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Its seriously getting worse he never wants to talk to me and stays awake all night while i sleep doing god know what then sleeps all day while i am awake i really dont want our relationship to be like this.....apparently i am doing something wrong he just wont tell me what...........gzz some one help me out here

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The Boyfriend again
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Jul 7 @ 7:37PM  
Sounds like my man, I'll send him over. Maybe together, they can figure out how to be a real man.

Jul 7 @ 7:45PM  
send him on his way til he can figure it out! And in the meantime.... live your life!! It's a great world out there!

Jul 7 @ 8:01PM  
I'd sit him down and get him to talk. Has something happened recently that would have him upset? Death in the family? A friend dying? Lost his job? Get him to talk.

Jul 7 @ 8:13PM  
I tend to speculate that after three years, you are to emotionally dependent on him and that loving him is like watering a dead plant.

Jul 7 @ 8:38PM  
well im the same way up all night sleep all day its a guy thing and guys like silence sometimes i dont realy think you need to worry too much i mean as long as he is true to his word other then that he may be cheating maybe but doubt it.

Jul 7 @ 8:40PM  
also thiers nothing wrong u if unless u 2 get into a lot of fights and or no party time if ya no what i mean.

Jul 7 @ 9:48PM  
Somewhere around 4 years the urge to find a new mate hits.. sometimes one, sometimes both.. it's perfectly natural.. however if he is unwilling to talk with you about the issues.. I'd say move along.

Jul 7 @ 10:04PM  
This is harsh, but it's time to face reality.

You don't have a relationship with this man, at least not a healthy one. The only thing you are doing wrong is remaining with him. He's ill and you are becoming that way too.

It's time to cut your losses, take care of yourself and move to a more positive place. The longer you stay with him the worse it wil become. This is a no win situation.

Jul 7 @ 10:32PM  
I am going to quote something you placed in your 1st blog...........

. and yeah i dont think he is cheating i have found him on numerous sites like this one that is why i am a member on here is to see if he is on here...
You say you have found him on other sites, and you are checking to see if he is here..............and yet you posted a picture of yourself that he is going to recognize immediately................did you do that in hopes he would see you and confront you? The reason I ask is because if that was your plan, well first off all do you really want to fight over said in your last blog that he did something that you cant come to terms with............don't you think that you being here might be something he won't be able to come to terms with, or more importantly he might take as you trying to get revenge. Or say he is here..........and you find out........and he never tells you he knows that you are here will you feel abuot are already wondering if he cares for you won't this just make it worse?

I am not trying to tell you not to be here, you have just as much right as anyone else, but if you're only here to spy on boyfriend who you haven't even found here............or if you're here seeking someone else............maybe its time to realize that your relationship is over and it's time to move on...............just something for you to think about..............


Jul 7 @ 10:39PM  
I agree with Doine. It is NOT your fault. Stop beating yourself up and either tell him to talk it out or go out and enjoy life. He might want a way out and is too chicken shit to do it himself.
By the way, St. Louis is a great town. Next time e mail me and I will point you in the right direction.

Jul 7 @ 10:58PM  
Granted, I don't have much to go on, but it is NOT apparent that you are doing anything wrong.

When a couple is dating, the focus is on having fun and courting each other. MANY Times after they are married (Or live together) , the couple gets caught up in every day work, chores, etc, and forget to take time for each other... and the relationship suffers.

Your first question is........ do you still have feelings for him... enough to want to fix the relationship.
IF yes, then tell him the relationship, in it's current form, is not working... for you... and ask him if he has given up, or does he want to get things back to the point that the 2 of you cared enough to want to live together. (you were both in love once, right????) IF his answer is yes, then I suggest counseling at this point. Neither of you currently have the skills to "fix" things.
It's important that his answer also has to be "yes", otherwise it won't work. One person can't give everything and expect it to be enough. It won't be.

If you're yes, and he's no..... you may still want to see a counselor for some emotional support.... and stat planning your exit.

If YOU are feeling like you don't even want to try, again, plan your exit. If you don't already have one, get a credit card that is in YOUR name only. Open a checking account in YOUR name only. Use your parents mailing address, or go paperless statements so there is nothing coming to the house. Be aware of what, and WHERE your joint finances are. If you have a joint card, and there is no balance, call them about getting your name off, or canceling it altogether.
I could go on....... but you'll figure it out.

The biggest thing is....... stop waiting for him to do......... something. Talk to him, and if you don't get the answer you want, cut your losses and start moving on. Better things are out there.
Good luck ! !

Jul 8 @ 1:00AM  
I am yes but he isnt anything he wont give me an answer....It just so hard to walk away from something that i believed in so much for so long I would have to move back in with my parents cause unfortunately i had relied so much on this working that we have an apartment together and bills that i cant afford alone. The only problem is with that i dont think that they will take me in i dont have a room there anymore and havent since i was 18. I got on here to find him then i found all of you guys who give me really great advice and help i dont really have any friends to ask these things to so i am left to ask strangers. I have pretty much alienated my friends and family just to try to make this relationship work. I literally bet it all and apparently lost. So here I am standing with nothing and no one.

Jul 8 @ 3:17AM  
you could go out on him. i have 40 x wives. in the los angeles, ca area
where i was born and lived most of my life 'cept for 7 months in europe
at age 16. all my x wives, cheated first. i never did. i probably
shoulda stayed with the first one. all the women were in porno,
as that is the main occupation for women in the los angeles area.
then they go on to straight films, like r and pg and g. but i just couldn't
stand the chronic infidelity. and after a.i.d.s. hit in 1979, i cut the crap.
after that i only married briefly 5 times. venereal disease doesn't slow
many people down. they can't control their sex drives very well.
mother nature takes over. i've known too many people who have died
from them. i've only been with one woman for 14 years. she's as wild
as a hurricane, but she isn't gonna get me to go out on her. she's always
trying to get me to. factor in social diseases. most diseases are social
diseases. think before you act. san diego county is a real military
area. 10 billion dollars in defense contracts are here alone. us navy, us marines.
its like los angeles here now. asphalt jungle. just rapping on. the circus
and britney spears continues. i really oughta go out on her. but planning
a real good debauch can be hard.

Jul 8 @ 3:43AM  
its offical we are through i have never wanted to die so much in my life he was all of my dreams all i ever wanted no i have nothing

Jul 8 @ 4:07AM  
There is no one or nothing that is worth getting that upset over. You are young and you will bounce back one way or the other. Good lesson in life. Never get into anything that you do not have an exit plan for if needed. Do you have a job or were both of you living on his paycheck? Looks like you are going to have to figure out how to support yourself and go on. At least you are not on your own with a couple of kids to also support right now. Don't worry so much you will figure this out.


Jul 8 @ 8:40AM  
For some unknown reason, this is shaping up to be eerily familar to me.

Jul 8 @ 8:53AM  
Kick his sorry ass to the curb..You're only 20 y/o for christsakes..
You have a long life of BF's ahead of you..

Jul 8 @ 10:11AM  
I have pretty much alienated my friends and family just to try to make this relationship work.

You should never have to alienate anybody in your life for another man! That alone would make me end the relationship. I recommend getting out of it quickly while you can and are still young. Yes, it sucks not being independent and having to mooch off your parents, but it's better than you ending up marrying the guy, having kids with him, and then getting a divorce because that's what will end up happening.

Take it from me....I know. There are PLENTY of other fish in the me.

Jul 8 @ 10:35AM  
You can stay with me, I'm sending you my number!

Seriously though, Bruce is looking for a roommate...

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The Boyfriend again