Sorry I haven't been blogging much lately- been super busy. But WoW posted a blog that kind of got me thinking about different perspectives of an ugly breakup between two people who are just plain toxic for each other.
Yes, it's true, me and my beautiful partner of nearly 4 years have split up. Those of you who read my older blogs probably have an inkling of what was going on. We were poly, and yet she was still finding things not to do, to do. That's a hard thing to do. It started quite some time back when she was fucking this other guy and started to get emotionally attached. I drew the line, and eventually the other guy just stopped calling her because I guess they were leading each other on into thinking that there was going to be some sort of relationship. Then, more recently, she started pulling the same shit with this other guy, only this time, she actually started using the threat of leaving me for him to get things from me. Usually money, sometimes other things. So I let her just be with him, since that's what she kept saying would happen. He moved in, I moved out. Now I'm living with my parents, sleeping on the couch in the living room as what used to by my bedroom and office when I was in high school are now storage units.
My ex and I are back to being "just friends". But, well, let's call a spade a spade here. She's a slut. Not like the free-love, open-about-everything, nothing-to-hide kind of admirable slut like I am and most other lovers I had/have are, but the sneaky, lying, manipulative kind. We got together by her cheating on her previous boyfriend with me. I saw it coming- that's how she'd leave me: starting by sleeping with someone else. Except this new guy she's with isn't really into the polyamorous thing. They are, at least on paper, a traditional monogamous couple. So now she cheats on her boyfriend with me somewhat regularly. The way she acts when she wants me to come over, it almost feels like she wants to be in a relationship with both of us. Lord knows that's not going to happen. In fact there's a new girl, actually an old flame from years ago, who has come into my life that I'm kind of crushing on, but nothing has happened yet.
But in the meantime, I've got my ex, who is just plain starved for attention whenever there isn't a dick inside her at that very present moment. But of course afterwords, she gets clingy and sad. Gets all these mixed-up feelings inside as well. I'll admit, I get it too. We were together for a long time. We were truly, deeply in love at one point and those feelings will never go away completely. But at the same time, I'm keeping my head on straight. I know we don't work together as a couple. We're good together in bed, and we get along somewhat amicably as friends. But that's it. When she wants more than that, or starts crying after we're done, I get tired of having to tell her that she has two choices: either learn how to fuck someone and make a clean break, or maybe stay faithful if that's what you're promising to do for this guy. I actually do feel kinda sorry for the guy. I know exactly what's being done to him. And I mean EXACTLY. I come over with a J or some cheap wine and some condoms, we fuck, she wants me to tell her that she's not wrong for doing this and I still love her, and I tell her that what she's doing is wrong, and whenever she thinks she can stop, I've got other options out there. Then she gets mad.
I feel like Lucy- as long as Charlie Brown believes me and will take a run at that football, I'll always be there to pull it away because it never gets old. I'm young, dumb, and full of cum, and I like easy, reliable pussy. I know it's not going to last forever. It may not last another month. And that's ok. For me, anyway. But for her? It's a vicious cycle. When I'm gone, there will be another guy doing the same thing to her. Will she ever be ok? After what she's put me through, should I care?
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lunanegra
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Jul 6 @ 6:37PM
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We as humans arent really monogamous animals and tend to pair bond with more than one person during our lifetime. However, we as humans are also prone to be less than perfect,so a concept like being poly tends to get a bad wrap by those who are straight-up batshit, and I don't know..relationships are such a pain in the ass.
However, why do I still want one so badly?
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evild614
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Jul 6 @ 6:44PM
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'Cause you're just as batshit as I am? 
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fortysixandtwo
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Jul 6 @ 6:47PM
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No offense Mr. young, dumb, and full of cum, ,that isn't a "SLUT"as you get older you'll understand that is what is referred to as ''A GOOD OLE GIRL'' 
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onehornytoad69
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Jul 6 @ 7:12PM
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You Love her Man That's the Bottom line!!!
I'm Old School.... so ..You and I will prolly see things differently... 
Can a Man Share the Woman he Loves?
Yeah...I Know ..there are Millions that Do!!! I have a "Few" that are my friends!!!  (May God Bless them!!)
I Cant Share love....!!!!!!!!!! I don't Have too!!! Don't Wanna!!!
Not Gonna!!!
Everyone is Different!!! Good Luck!!
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Lisa46
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Jul 6 @ 7:20PM
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Well this is one reason I will not have a relationship with a married man. If he is going to cheat on someone he promised to love honor and respect what will he do on me? NO man go about your business enjoy the new crush and move on. After 4 years you know in your heart and little head it isn't going anywhere. And ummm you do want to keep your little head clean 
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Looking4ever
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Jul 6 @ 7:21PM
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Personally, I think that just because she'll let you use her as a cum repository doesn't mean you should. If you ever cared for this gal, treat her that way. Don't contribute to her feelings of low self esteem. caring for her means that you want what is best for her...not what feels good to you.
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Ewe_Wish
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Jul 6 @ 7:38PM
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Personally, I think that just because she'll let you use her as a cum repository doesn't mean you should. If you ever cared for this gal, treat her that way. Don't contribute to her feelings of low self esteem. caring for her means that you want what is best for her...not what feels good to you.
Thanks L4E, exactly what i wanted to say.
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fortysixandtwo
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Jul 6 @ 9:06PM
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Dang Ladies who said she ain't getting hers?She's not here to defend herself so whose to say that what she's doing isn't exactly what she wants ,by evil's description it sure sounds like it to me.......
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lunanegra
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Jul 6 @ 9:17PM
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Cause you're just as batshit as I am?
Well,you know what they say "you're never gonna survive..unless you get a little crazy"
But yeah- love rules, complexity and headache of dealing with another flawed human being doesn't.. 
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Ewe_Wish
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Jul 6 @ 9:19PM
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Dang Ladies who said she ain't getting hers?She's not here to defend herself so whose to say that what she's doing isn't exactly what she wants ,by evil's description it sure sounds like it to me.......
Well you know what they say about the true story.............there are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in between...........
so what did evil say to make you think she wanted to be used......... 
this?
who is just plain starved for attention whenever there isn't a dick inside her at that very present moment
or maybe this?
But of course afterwords, she gets clingy and sad.
or perhaps..........
I come over with a J or some cheap wine and some condoms, we fuck, she wants me to tell her that she's not wrong for doing this and I still love her, and I tell her that what she's doing is wrong, and whenever she thinks she can stop, I've got other options out there. Then she gets mad.
or............
I feel like Lucy- as long as Charlie Brown believes me and will take a run at that football, I'll always be there to pull it away because it never gets old.
Yep sounds to me like she is just having the time of her life. I am sure when she was a child she told her mother "Someday I want to grow up with low self esteem, feel like no one loves me, and be used as a booty call by as many men as possible so that for even a short moment I can feel loved. And maybe one of them will just actually stick around and truly love me"
Yep your right..........she's have fun too..................
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fortysixandtwo
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Jul 6 @ 9:29PM
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Then, more recently, she started pulling the same shit with this other guy, only this time, she actually started using the threat of leaving me for him to get things from me. Usually money, sometimes other things. Sounds to me she's using him as much as he's using her
We got together by her cheating on her previous boyfriend with me sounds like to me she's doing what she wanted I didn't read she was being forced
So now she cheats on her boyfriend with me somewhat regularly. yeah she's being held at her will being forced to do things she really just despises doing
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fortysixandtwo
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Jul 6 @ 9:31PM
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Well you know what they say about the true story.............there are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in between...........
Dayna I do agree with that whole heartedly
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Ewe_Wish
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Jul 6 @ 9:44PM
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Dayna I do agree with that whole heartedly
You were suppose to agree with me on the other stuff too.............  but we will never know the whole story and I am not calling Evil a liar..............but each of them have a perception of who is using who..................sad...........in the end.............people get hurt...............
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evild614
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Jul 7 @ 4:37AM
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And maybe one of them will just actually stick around and truly love me"
I did. I really, really did. But she just isn't at any point in her life where she can accept someone's love at face value and be happy with it. And I was just too damn tired of committing my life to someone whose foot was always halfway out the door. So now I'm standing outside, with my foot halfway in the door, so just our feet touch. Is that wrong? One could argue that even at our best that's all we ever really got.
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