I just need a place to vent here, so forgive me.
The emotions involved in a swinging-type relationship are so completely foreign...
If you've read my last two blogs, you'll know about Mike. Well, I haven't been able to finish that story, simply because as of right now, it pains me a little to even think about it...
I honestly thought that we had something akin to a relationship; the amount of time spent talking to each other, the secrets divulged...It was very much like the beginning of something special, even under our unusual circumstances. (We are both married, and have absolutely NO intentions of leaving our spouses.) We met up, and since then, he just... Disappeared. A quick message saying "Let's do it again", and a few other small talk type conversations. My self esteem has hit close to an all-time low, because I can't shake the feeling that he totally HATED our time together.
Is this reasonable? I honestly have no idea what to think about this kind of situation, as it's something completely new.
What we had seemed so strong to me, but now... Should I just move on, or wait a little longer and see if there's still a chance?
If anyone that reads this has experience or knowledge of what to expect/do/etc., it would be really, REALLY helpful.
<3
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read more blogs!
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somnium
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Jul 2 @ 2:45PM
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I don't have experience in the situation you just described but, it may not be you per se- it might be, he may have guilt feelings about the fact that you're both married and has maybe thought it is best not to cause problems for both of you! I dunno, just a thought that occurred to me at face value!
I don't know that you should 'beat' yourself up about something that is probably the best thing to happen, even though you may not think so at the time... and just move on! JMO {:O)
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Sunshine79
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Jul 2 @ 2:51PM
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I've had it happen before. Just move on. Ain't gonna be easy though.
I've had 2 guys completely disappear. Later to find out one guy actually moved from here to NY. Just happens sometimes. Don't get so close next time.
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Jumpback
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Jul 2 @ 9:11PM
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Sorry to break your heart but it sounds like the guy just wanted to put another notch on his bed post. You were just a playmate. That is what you wanted in your essay.
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1bunny629
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Jul 2 @ 10:02PM
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Basing your self esteem on a man that you knew you could never be with for a long term relationship is just not healthy. Don't think about it, move on. He does not define you!
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rayc1971
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Aug 11 @ 3:53PM
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from what i read in your essay you wanted a threesome and so did he.you know he is married and i guess his wife doesnt swing so why are you expecting more out of him?he had sex with you and had a good time that should be it.you sound like you want a relationhip with this man when you have a loving husband at home who swings with you! maybe the lifestyle is not for you!
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JasonB
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Dec 30 @ 3:07PM
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I will echo what other's have said, but it bears repeating. You can wrack yourself over why he just up and went poof, but the truth is it was about him and not you. There are quite a few married guys who have their fun, then feel guilty. I am a married guy who has fun on the side, but I am comfortable with that choice. Most, are not. Either they are experimenting, just acting on urge/impulse or simply getting of on the thrill of doing something wrong...all of that can blow up in their play partners face. Or sadly, he could be a notch on the belt king, plenty of those around too. He aslo could have run from any real feelings developing, and that doesn't mean he ran from you, he could have been feeling something too.
That is just coming from a guy who has been in these situations, but the fact is, one way or the other he wasn't the mature one and gave you any explanation. Don't take that immaturity as a dislike of you...your self-esteem is worth more than that. Just try not to get too attached or introspective towards someone who is just "fun on the side" or it will bite you in the ass everytime, and eventually will cause problems for you.
Jason
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