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The Stupidity Test

posted 6/29/2009 2:04:00 PM |
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  dmbchick420

Can you pass this test? I think there are a couple people here that can't.....

1. The clitoris is a type of flower.
True or False

2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.
True or False

3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
True or False

4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.
True or False

5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.
True or False

6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.
True or False

7. Semen is a term for sailors.
True or False

8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.
True or False

9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.
True or False

10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
True or False

11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.
True or False

12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.
True or False

13. Coitus is a musical instrument.
True or False

14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.
True or False

15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.
True or False

16. A condom is a large apartment complex.
True or False

17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.
True or False

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.
True or False

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.
True or False

20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.
True or False

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.
True or False

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.
True or False

23. Pornography is the business of making records.
True or False

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.
True or False

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Comments:

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paulywalnuts

Jun 29 @ 2:09PM  
Haven't Heard these before....#11 My Fav
PinkToeNails

Jun 29 @ 2:41PM  
LOL these are great!! Thanks for sharing!!

Ewe_Wish

Jun 29 @ 3:15PM  
Those are too funny.........
flavorbuster

Jun 29 @ 3:24PM  
Those are funny
10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.
True or False
True= It's her fault for being a pain in the ass ...
earthquake501

Jun 29 @ 3:27PM  
But, what are the answers?
Roustabout

Jun 29 @ 3:41PM  
1. The clitoris is a type of flower.

TRUE -- the clitoris, when properly kept, tastes sweet as the purest rosewater, smells like honeysuckle musk, is tender as a dewy petal and soft as the touch of a lily.

2. A pubic hair is a wild rabbit.

TRUE -- it must be true, because good pubic hair drives me wild and makes me wanna fuck like a bunny!

3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.

TRUE -- if you've gone without someone Spread Eagle long enough it feels like the Spread Eagle has gone extinct.

4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe a Heart Attack.

TRUE -- best utilized in the scenario where an elderly man is found dead, naked, with a smile on his face.
- "What was the cause of the heart attack?"
- "Vagina."


5. A menstrual cycle has three wheels.

TRUE -- Otherwise women on their period would not be described as "Hell on wheels."

6. A G-string is part of a fiddle.

TRUE -- It's well known that I enjoy fiddling around with a woman's G-string.

7. Semen is a term for sailors.

TRUE -- that's why the Navy has that reputation and sailors are also referred to as "Salty Dogs".

8. Anus is a Latin term for yearly.

TRUE -- this comes from the predilection Italian girls have for anal sex prior to marriage in order to maintain their virginity for their wedding night, combined with the lies they tell their parents about how often they have pre-marital intercourse.

9. Testicles are found on an Octopus.

TRUE -- you just gotta know where to look! (The organelles are in one of the arms.)

10. Asphalt describes rectal problems.

TRUE -- Anyone who's ever fallen off a motorcycle can attest to this one.

11. KOTEX is a radio station in Cincinnati.

TRUE -- Most people are unaware that radio stations originally had 5-letter designators, and that the four-letter modern equivalent is a shortened version for the sake of brevity. In distinct correlation,this is why Cincinnati is referred to as "The Queen City", since KOTEX applies and no one wanted to say "The Bitch-Queen City".

12. Masturbate is used to catch large fish.

TRUE -- But only by Mastur Fishermen. This does a great deal to explain the fish nobody can find in the pair of hose.

13. Coitus is a musical instrument.

TRUE -- believe you me, I can make you sing.

14. Fetus is a character on Gunsmoke.

TRUE -- this occurred, of course, in the second month of broadcast, and was the origin of two well known bits of Americana; the Marine chant This is my rifle, this is my gun, this one's for fighting, this one's for fun and the fate of the father of Fetus, the man Miss Kitty (think of another word for kitty) pointed out as The Smoking Gun.

15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.

TRUE, although it's common that the exact phraseology is mosconstrued. The term should correctly read An umbilical cord of for rappeling down the chute.

16. A condom is a large apartment complex.

TRUE -- This was, in fact, the original terminology before the massive constructions fell into disuse following World War II during economic recover, discontinued in favor of smaller buildings which were referred to as condom-miniums.

17. An orgasm is a person who accompanies a church choir.

TRUE -- Remind me to tell you about Miss Gentry someday... *sigh*

18. A diaphragm is a drawing in geometry.

TRUE -- this is why boxers suck in their breath. (you may have to think about that one, and I'll defend myself by saying come on, they can't ALL be winners!)

19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle.

TRUE -- In point of fact I've heard many women insist they prefer them!

20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.

TRUE -- based on the current status of pornography in the modern Japanese mindset in conjunction with the penis size of Asian males in ancient art, more Japanese males voted for erections last year than ever before, stating that with the popularity of erections at large, their country would like to host even bigger erections.

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

TRUE -- but another mispronunciation; that's Middle Eat.

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.

FALSE -- this is actually of rural Italian origin, coming into popular slang during a pre-fisticuffs incident involving two mud-slinging farmers, the first of which, historically, got mud spattered by a passing wagon and reacted by screaming "Sod-a-ME?!? I sod-a-YOU, you sunna-bitch!" Sodomy is the English spelling.

23. Pornography is the business of making records.

TRUE -- pornography in the last decade has made record sales.

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.

That explains why my Jewish acquaintance called me a dick the other day...
Roustabout

Jun 29 @ 3:58PM  
It all showed on mine, but okay....



20. An erection is when Japanese people vote.

TRUE -- based on the current status of pornography in the modern Japanese mindset in conjunction with the penis size of Asian males in ancient art, more Japanese males voted for erections last year than ever before, stating that with the popularity of erections at large, their country would like to host even bigger erections.

21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

TRUE -- but another mispronunciation; that's Middle Eat.

22. Sodomy is a special land of fast growing grass.

FALSE -- this is actually of rural Italian origin, coming into popular slang during a pre-fisticuffs incident involving two mud-slinging farmers, the first of which, historically, got mud spattered by a passing wagon and reacted by screaming "Sod-a-ME?!? I sod-a-YOU, you sunna-bitch!" Sodomy is the English spelling.

23. Pornography is the business of making records.

TRUE -- pornography in the last decade has made record sales.

24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origin.

That explains why my Jewish acquaintance called me a dick the other day...
Sunshine79

Jun 29 @ 4:10PM  
OMG......Those are freakin' hilarious!!!!!
max49

Jun 29 @ 5:33PM  
NightOfOld

Jun 29 @ 7:07PM  

Thanks for the laugh
Lisa46

Jun 29 @ 7:15PM  
3. Spread Eagle is an extinct bird.
True or False


Is that why they call females "chick"??
scorp45

Jun 30 @ 5:47AM  
Enjoyed that! Thanx...
surv6969

Jun 30 @ 10:43AM  

How many can you miss and still pass?
ksk72

Jun 30 @ 11:48AM  
Looking4ever

Jun 30 @ 11:58AM  
Damn, Roustabout...those were funny (well, with maybe an exception or two)...

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The Stupidity Test