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The Sandwich maker Act 3, Scene 2

posted 6/29/2009 1:45:52 AM |
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  weylinalastair

THE SANDWICH MAKER
ACT 3, SCENE 2
Episode V, The Eric Strikes Back

V.O. Deli supervisor Jack:
On answering machine
Johnny, listen, this is Jack calling. Man, I'm sorry to do this but we've been expecting this for awhile.
The sale went through Johnny, so no more work man. Go ahead and come in for your paycheck. We do not have the W-2's ready so we'll go ahead and mail that out to you. I'm sorry Johnny, best of luck though man.

Scene change to Johnny and Rista's apartment. Enter Johnny, then Rista.

Johnny:
Doing actors warm ups
Red leather – yellow leather, red leather – yellow leather, red leather – yellow leather -

Rista:
Honey! Honey!

Johnny:
I need to go, I'm going to be late!

Rista:
You forgot your suitcase.

Johnny:
Thanks hon. Bye.

Rista:
Good luck!

Johnny:
Not “good luck,” break a leg!

Rista:
Break a leg then!

Exit Johnny and Rista, scene shift to courthouse interior, holding room set aside for extras.

Extras Wrangler:
Listen up, everybody! Can I have your attention please? If you have just arrived for our midday shoot, and you have not filled out any paperwork, please come see me. If you're done with your paperwork, go ahead and take your costume changes to our costuming area. Also, when we start filming, I will call for quiet. If you are not quiet, you are fired. Lunch will be served at noon. Have fun everybody, I'll call you in as we need you.

Extra 1:
I heard that Eric Holms was starring in this movie.
Extra 2:
Yeah. It's Eric Holms, Christian Slater, and – I think Brad Pitt?

Enter Eric with the casting director Jim

Eric:
He was like “you can't be like that.” And I was like what? It's my money, I can do whatever I want with it. Then, I swear to god, he looks at me with the most shocked look on his face and says “but thats not at all politically correct!” I was like so? You've never been out on the streets. You have no idea what a person in that position would be willing to do for ten bucks, much less a hundred. So a couple – o – bums beat the shit out of each other? They got their money!

Jim:
Maybe thats what we should make some of these extras do.

Eric:
Ha! Maybe. It would be a miracle if any of them can act.

Extra 1:
Eric? Eric Holms? I just wanted to say that it's an honor working with you. I was raised on the street myself, and your story is such an inspiration to me. I was wondering if I could get your autograph?

Eric:
A slight pause. To Jim
Who is this guy?

Jim:
What's your name?

Extra 1:
Uh, T – Timothy, sir.

Eric:
T – Timothy? What kind of fucking name is that?

Extra 1:
So... Autograph?

Eric:
Laughs
Have fun, Jim.

Jim:
Timothy? You're fired. Get the fuck off my set.

Extra 1:
Eric, I respected you. Now I come here and find out that you are nothing but a low life HACK! Fuck you!

Jim:
On the radio

Security to Extras area, our friend Timothy needs help finding the door.

2 security guards enter and drag Timothy backstage.

Extra 1:
Screw you, goddamn hacks!

Eric:
Bad tempered people, Jesus!

Jim:
You don't have to worry about him anymore.

Eric:
He's probably jealous that I make a shit load of money, and he doesn't.

Jim:
I don't know. He said you inspire him, so maybe.

Eric:
Inspire? I inspire a lot of people, but if they don't use that inspiration to get their shit together, then my inspiration is wasted. These extras should be great full that we let them work. It seems T – Timothy didn't realize his place.

Enter Johnny

Jim:
What do you mean?

Eric:
He's only an extra. I'm a primary actor here. The movie will survive without T – Timothy in the credits. It won't go anywhere without me. He's an extra, thats such a... such a -

Johnny:
-Small part?
Eric, don't you remember our drama classes? There are no small parts, only small actors.

Eric:
Who is talking to me now?

Johnny:
Eric, its me, your old buddy, Johnny.

Eric:
Johnny! Old friend! It is good to see you.
Jim, can I talk to you over here a second?
Eric takes Jim to the side

Johnny's a good guy, but he was kind of a talentless hack in college. I don't know if I can work with him.

Jim:
I'll take care of him.

Eric:
Would you? Thanks. Join me at my trailer for some shots afterwards?

Jim:
Sounds good to me.

Eric:
I'm going to head over there now and get some shots lined up for us then.

Eric exits, Jim confronts Johnny.

Jim:
Excuse me sir, what is your name?

Johnny:
Johnny. You must be the casting director?

Jim:
I am. Listen, Johnny, unfortunately I don't think we can really use you in this movie.

Johnny:
Uh... Okay. I'm an old friend of Eric's. Can I talk to him?

Jim:
No, he's busy. Well, thanks for showing up. Good luck to you Johnny. Maybe next time.

Exuant, scene shift to scene 3

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Comments:

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theSkwirl

Jun 29 @ 12:25PM  
AAAAAAAAAAgh.. I'm starting to seriously dislike Eric.

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The Sandwich maker Act 3, Scene 2