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posted 6/25/2009 3:54:57 PM |
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  visualone209

I did not write this, but wish I did.......Laura

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A YOUNG PERSON!!!

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:


We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce.



I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course..



Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up this country by landmass each taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens.. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

You can make peace with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volkswagon you can find.

We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World.

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.



In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.


Sincerely,

John J. Wall
Law Student and an American

P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda with you.


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Comments:

post a comment!

MUDSHARK450

Jun 25 @ 4:12PM  
delightful
40DWM

Jun 25 @ 4:21PM  
Green 'thangy for ya.

Luckily, I pretty much know which side Texas will go to.

It was over 20 years ago, so I know it's changed....but there was a time
when the GNP of Texas was in the top 10 countries of the world.
DarkKnightWalking

Jun 25 @ 4:33PM  
Amen.
somnium

Jun 25 @ 4:54PM  
I whole heartily agree!!! Let's do it!!!
somnium

Jun 25 @ 5:03PM  
Damn- hate that when I do that! Here's your kudos for this blog!

visualone209

Jun 25 @ 5:38PM  
I thought about adding that you can keep your Prius's (sales are falling and nobody wants them folks) and other battery Hybrids also.Hopefully Obama will give you new batteries for them in 4-7 years (battery lifespans), because they already cost $4000+ to replace and with Cap and Steal, I mean Cap And Trade they will be about 4 to 5 times that because of the pollution of disposing of them and you will pay to tow your dead Prius to the junk yard. Oh those curly-Q light bulbs? Break one and you have to call a Hazmat team because of the mercury spill. Do throw those puppies away either. It's against EPA regulations and there are big fines for mercury and heavy metals poisoning of the ground water and soils. You can be thinking about all of this on those freezing nights when there is no fuel oil to generate electricity or run your furnaces on because you can't afford to import oil or build refineries. No Nukes's either! The Most Highest Obama will not allow you that. You will be wishing that global warming was real on those nights. Oh Sorry, I forgot.Not global warming, they changed the name to Climate Change. I forgot.Ya'll change the names of things so often it is hard to keep up with all the PC of yours. And to think it was only 25 years ago Al Gore said we would all be in a deep freeze now from Global Cooling and a man made Ice Age.
Laura
StraddleMyNose

online now!
Jun 25 @ 6:14PM  
Another Kudo thrown your way!
rdsingle

Jun 25 @ 7:59PM  
Ok Laura I dont agree with all of it. But will give you a kudo for your blog.
rdsingle

Jun 25 @ 9:22PM  
We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies
I dont agree with keeping greedy people. Whether it was in the government or the general work place. Greed and corruption was the major problem that put us where we are now.

This is an extra from my first comment.
sugarnspice005

Jun 25 @ 11:36PM  
We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.

I don't like taxes at all.

Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.

Hey! I don't own guns, but it doesn't mean I think they should be taken away...that would be in violation of our Constitution. And I preferto be where the cops and military are.

You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (

I don't want them either.

We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood.

Can we negotiate? I'm not interested in NBC nor the Bible, but I'll take Hollywood. ( I like Johnny Depp...he's hot!!!!!!! )

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars

Yay!!!!! I can keep my Jeep!!!


evild614

Jun 26 @ 5:07AM  
Ironically enough, my little purple state of Ohio has the same idea on a smaller scale! Check it out!

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Most of You Will Hate This Blog