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A Different Way Of Looking At Things

posted 6/23/2009 2:59:24 PM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: fuck, funny, joke, laugh
  Sunshine79

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, Did you? "Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

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A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

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"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

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A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."
"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".

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An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

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Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

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A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute.." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

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Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
"How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."


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Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

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A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS"

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While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He's still in intensive care.




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Comments:

post a comment!

Ewe_Wish

Jun 23 @ 3:44PM  
This is my favorite......tho they were all good...........

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".
The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."

DarkKnightWalking

Jun 23 @ 4:33PM  
paulywalnuts

Jun 23 @ 4:45PM  
Sunshine....does it again....
Taisen

Jun 23 @ 4:52PM  
After looking at cars all day the laugh was needed! Thank you hun.
shewolf53

Jun 23 @ 4:58PM  
Those were funny
hot4you120

Jun 23 @ 5:06PM  
very funny good job
sugarnspice005

Jun 23 @ 8:46PM  
Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week," "That's very fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."

onehornytoad69

Jun 23 @ 8:49PM  
cute!!!!
Looking4ever

Jun 24 @ 12:50AM  
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

*snort*
flavorbuster

Jun 24 @ 9:24AM  
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
Inbred Bastards No teeth- No dental records
RevDocLove

Jun 24 @ 9:41AM  
Funnier than watching a one legged man in an ass kicking contest
surv6969

Jun 24 @ 9:54AM  
Lets go

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A Different Way Of Looking At Things