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Throat lozenges, hand lotion...and condoms

posted 12/11/2006 1:34:47 PM |
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I started a game in the forums the other day...and it's starting to take off. Cool! In the first post I mentioned the above items...and said that it's a true story. Well, I got a couple of emails asking what the story is, so I guess I'll tell it.

When I was in the Air Force, we went on short duty tours called TDY's. They could last anywhere from a couple of days to a month. I think anything longer than a month was called something else. Either way...

I was a Supply Clerk. Working in the Aircraft Mainenance Units involved alot more than pushing paperwork for me. I had to keep track of all the spare aircraft parts, order parts for high priority jets and make sure our nuts and bolts were stocked. I also maintained the mobility kit...which was around 8 or 10 pallets that we took with us whenever we went on a TDY. This consisted of everything we would need for the least one of every anything else we might need.
I went on a three week TDY to Nellis AFB, right outside of Las Vegas NV one year in the beginning of December. If you've ever been to Vegas in December you know it gets cold. And it's very, very dry. If you're not used to it, this can be a problem. Your throat is so dry you can't talk...your sinuses dry up and your nose bleeds...your hands crack and even bleed.
Another thing about Vegas is...the prostitutes. Now...imagine around 100 young airmen...and some not so young...going to Vegas for the first time. You know they're gonna get laid! One of my 'unofficial' duties for these TDY's was to make sure we brought condoms in the mobility kit. You got it...I forgot!
There were two women on this particular trip...myself and the admin. We decided we needed to make a list of things we needed and go pick some things up. By the time the list was done...we realized we could pick up most of it from the Health Clinic on base. The Clinic is run mostly by retired thier 60's and 70's. Just picture this if you can:
We have the list:
1 case of throat lozenges
5 bottles of hand lotion
1 case of nasal spray
1 case of chapstick
1 case of condoms two girls show up at the clinic with this list. There is a women behind the counter who was probably in her mid to late seventies. We handed her the list...she looked at it, looked at us over her reading glasses and in a dead-serious voice said..."Sounds like some party you girls are planning!"

True can't make shit like this up!
And you guys thought I was gonna tell an erotic story? Heh...just wait til after the holidays! I'll have some new material by then. Of course the names will have to be changed...

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Dec 11 @ 1:51PM  
Should have known it wasn't for a party... no BEER on the list

Dec 11 @ 1:52PM  
I'm looking forward to those stories soon.

Dec 11 @ 1:57PM  
cute story

Dec 11 @ 1:59PM  
ynot, when I saw your newest pic on here I thought who and what the hell is that. You're a character for sure.

Dec 11 @ 2:05PM  
Sunny do you remember a CopeT trip and they had 3 cases of condoms out for the guys and someone wrote small,medium, and large on the boxes for a joke? Yep needless to say the box that said lage emptied out first.

Dec 11 @ 2:14PM  
Was that the one to Eglin? Well, we did that at Eglin...Yea...I was the one who wrote on the boxes...but it was Pepe's idea.

Dec 11 @ 2:39PM  
Don't remember that at Eglin, course there they didn't make you sit through a film about STD's yeck with pictures and all, course a big difference between Eglin and the Phillipines hahaha

Dec 11 @ 2:42PM  
I've heard that condoms are issued to troops as part of the survival kit for water storage. It's a strange container to use but I guess it comes in handy when you need the kit to be really compact. Of course the sperm-killing stuff has to be removed before using.

Dec 11 @ 2:45PM  
Heck I dunno, sounds like my kinda party!

Dec 11 @ 3:06PM  
I knew I should have joined the USAF instead of the CAF!!!!!!!!!

Dec 11 @ 3:55PM  
1 case of throat lozenges
5 bottles of hand lotion
1 case of nasal spray
1 case of chapstick
1 case of condoms

Sounds like a good night in Holland!

Dec 11 @ 5:58PM  
let me, if we take off the codom we can produce plenty of hand lotion.....but if too much is swallowed we will need the throat lozenges !!!

Dec 11 @ 11:51PM  

Dec 12 @ 1:07AM  
K.....Seriously what was that really for? And why was I not invited

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Throat lozenges, hand lotion...and condoms