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What is ugly really?

posted 6/18/2009 12:57:32 PM |
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tagged: beauty, handsome, ugly, pretty

I have to ask this.....

What really is ugly? There are some people I think are pretty damn fugly that other people might think are nice looking and vice versa. I mean....really what is ugly to you guys?

Beauty is only skin deep for me. I think there are people that are pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside. Does this matter to anyone? It sure does me. If you are ugly on the inside, you might as well be ugly on the outside as well, as far as I'm concerned.

I can recall a few guys from my past wanting to date me and I turned them down because of their cocky ass attitude. What a turn off! There are also people I have dated that may have been "not what society deems as pretty/handsome" because I could tell they had a good heart and a great personality. To me that is much more important than what is on the outside.

What are your thoughts?

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Jun 18 @ 1:06PM  
To me anyone who is ugly inside is not worth my time. I can't stand people who are conceited, arrogant, think they are god's gift to women or men, people who put down others and etc you get the point. I have a friend ( kind of ), I only talk to him once in awhile. We used to be good friends untill I saw his true colors. I am the type I like people who are nice and don't care what they look like. He on the other hand will sit and make fun of people for anything he can find. Have a few friends who are over weight and he has made fun of them and so forth. To me that makes him an ugly person. I don't like that.

I think a person's looks should not matter as much as thier personality and how they are on in the inside. What is inside counts so much more. But that's just me.

Jun 18 @ 1:08PM  
I couldn't agree with you more

Jun 18 @ 1:12PM  
I think there are people that are pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside


Like the saying is in the eyes of the beholder. I had a good GOOD friend years ago, she was burning trash as a young teen, a garbage bag flew out of the burning barrel and wrapped itself around her, causing 2nd and 3rd degree burns across most of her body. I met her as an adult and she had a heart of pure platinum. I had zero problems being seen with her anywhere. There were the stares, sure, but only one comment, ever. Guy whispered to his buddy "they should cage things like that, out of sight." He whispered a little too loud. I beat his fuckin ass into the ER.

Jun 18 @ 1:18PM  
Ditto to Dark Knight....Something similar happen to me a long time ago...I reacted the same way

Jun 18 @ 1:18PM  
I know that I'm not the most beautiful person in the world, but I have never thought of myself as ugly. Granted I used to be prettier than I am now, but age does take it's toll. lol

I figure if I'm as nice to people as I want them to be to me I'll do alright. I've never been attracted to the most beautiful people anyway. I like a rugged man, not a girly man. If he thinks he's prettier than I am, no way we can be together. If he checks himself out in the mirror more than I do, well then we have a problem.

If you truely get to know people, it's the "uglier" people that have the best personalities. They have to strive harder to get people to like them, because we all know outside packaging is what we look at first. They may be a little meek and shy at first, that's because most of the "beautiful" people have been so mean and mistreated them all of their life, but they are truely the most beautiful people in the world. I strive to be more like them every day that I live.

Ok, I'll get down off my soapbox now..............

Jun 18 @ 1:34PM  
Physical beauty and ugly are in the eyes of the beholder. Ugly as a person will trump physical attractiveness every time. But as is evident in the ugly actress/actor contest, on a physical, level there are some people that are considered ugly.

Jun 18 @ 1:44PM  
People often believe that good looking on the outside accounts for being good in the sack & a perfect match for being comfortable around & getting along with which is simply not true. What's on the outside normally attracts in the beginning & what's on the inside for me out weighs what's on the outside. A good attitude is my final deciding factor in being with someone despite of how good looking the outside is. I would rather have the case of the blue balls every now & then versus having constant stress & headaches due to someone being ugly on the inside.

Jun 18 @ 1:52PM  
If you are ugly on the inside, you might as well be ugly on the outside
But...... what if you're an android that looks and acts like a human... like Data on the Starship Enterprise- what do you do then?

Actually, people are preoccupied with outward appearance these days much to the thanks of the fashion industry IMO- actors [the beautiful people] being paraded around and so forth! I'm not chiding them, it's just the way it is! I'll take an 'average' looking lady [whatever 'average' looking is] anytime- as long as her personality isn't 'ugly'.


Jun 18 @ 1:54PM  
I've found as I have gotten older my definition of "ugly" has changed. And definitely consider what is inside a person as much more important than when I was younger. Looking back on it I really could be a superficial asshole back in the day. Even as far as looks go now I seem to look more for the positive traits as opposed to the negative. Maybe I will see a woman some here would consider "ugly", instead I try to notice a good trait. Maybe she has nice eyes, or a sweet smile, etc. None of us is perfect, though some seem to think they are.

Jun 18 @ 1:59PM  
Ugly to me in my personal life is not so much what the face holds but what the soul holds. Now that is not to say that I don't recognize people that are not what society would consider pretty, Hell i am someone society wouldn't consider pretty, but I know that there have been people in my life who have thought I was beautiful. I also know that I have judged people from how their personality was to find them beautiful in my eyes...........where they probably weren't in anyone elses eyes.........sometimes I find that they just had the ugly buried deep inside them and when I found that part of them they were not so beautiful to me anymore regardless of how they looked face wise.

Whose to say what is or isn't beautiful? Kinda reminds me of that old movie The Great Outdoors....where john candy and dan akroyd were sitting on the porch of the cabin looking out over the lake.....John candy says so what do you see when you look at the lake and trees and dan akroyd says that all he could see was the wasted resources of the lakes and trees.......the trees to be cut down for lumber and the lake to be used to bury barrels of toxic medical waste..........and he turns to john candy and says what do you see...........and john candy says I just see trees and a lake (this is not a direct quote) See one person sees things one way and someone else will look at them differently. Each person looks at things as how they effect themselves personally.JMO

Jun 18 @ 2:00PM  
Kudos to you Dmbchick!!

Jun 18 @ 2:31PM  
WOW! I think some people are totally missing our whole point in this. Not one of us has extolled our beauty over the lack of anyone else. I think in the early beginnings of this, before the contest started there was talk for several AMDer's about how an actor was able to reach a certain level with their looks. Not once did any of us say these people (actors and actresses) were personally ugly human beings. I personally stayed way away from that as I have met and know some of these people through my past work. One most think are nice people can be real monsters and vice versa. One of the ugliest physically is one of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet.This was not about their abilities either. The fact that one of the criteria was they had to be rated a 4 or above in major theatrical releases. Very few really bad actors reach that more than once or twice without some other box office trait. No we were speaking of good accomplished actors and actresses.

And you ask what is ugly, well surprise surprise! There have been a number of studies done over many years by respected universities, both in the US and abroad and all have come up with what is considered naturally ugly and beautiful by all people regardless of race or location. Every study ever done keeps coming up with the same results, to the point there is a specific set of attributes considered by all peoples world wide as ugly or beautiful. I am talking face folks, not individual body parts or types of bodies.

I may be mistaken, but I believe it was one of the Discovery Channels a year or two ago, maybe longer, I can't remember at the moment that took these statistics and used them to pick 10 celebrities from both sexes. What was interesting is they made scaled overlays of each face. Each overlay fit almost perfectly over the face below and all other faces. They also showed these faces and 10 of each considered ugly to people in Europe, Asia South Sea Islands and middle east. All agreed on what was beauty and what was ugly. No one disagreement from even a aboriginal tribe in New Guinea or any place else.

Trivia, but I find it interesting and thought you might also. But to sum up, not one of the three of us was meaning this disparaging to anyone anyplace for any reason.
Many of these people have even joked publicly about their faces and lack of beauty. Sorry so many seemed to take it personal or as an insult. It was neither.

Jun 18 @ 2:41PM  


That's ugly to me.

Someone without a beautiful face might have inside them a soul that blossoms like the rarest orchid.. and someone with a gorgeous face and body may be skunk cabbage inside. Looks .. it's a thing.. depends on who you are what you like but.. for me.. if you aren't fabulously gorgeous on the INSIDE? Don't bother me.

Jun 18 @ 3:14PM  
Wonderfully expressed, explained, and articulated, Laura. Sliding a greenie under the door for that marvelous, logical explanation, even though it is DMB's blog.

Jun 18 @ 3:40PM  

I never took anything anyone said here regardling ugliness as an "insult". I don't think I'm ugly and I know other people don't think I am either, so I was never insulted or took anything personal by the "ugly" blogs. The only word that came to my mind was "shallow". I had a curiosity about what people thought ugly was and decided to post a blog.

*softly whispers*
everything is not about you


Jun 18 @ 3:51PM  
A woman has to be attractive inside and out for me. I love the full package!

Jun 18 @ 4:10PM  
*softly whispers*
everything is not about you

I believe I hear an echo.....

Jun 18 @ 4:35PM  
I third that. (But I've been told I learned to whisper in a sawmill.)

Jun 18 @ 4:58PM  
I third that. (But I've been told I learned to whisper in a sawmill.)

Jun 18 @ 5:11PM  
*softly whispers*
everything is not about you


Jun 18 @ 5:11PM  
*softly whispers*
everything is not about you

Well I probably don't need to say this but I will. Every morning when I go to take a shower, I see a mirror, actually two. There hasn't been a good looking guy in that mirror that I have seen in this century. I can be defensive, I can be in denial, I can blabber away bullshit, but the facts are the facts. What I see in the mirror is a million miles away from from what any woman or gay guy wants to see in the nude. It remains a fact!

Once upon a time, that may have been different. But once upon a time is not now in a physical sense. Face it, on a physical level, what mother nature bestows, father time will often rob. Most of us physically, eventually get ugly. It is a fact. Accept it, get over it. I do!

Jun 18 @ 6:29PM  
Wow, I respectfully disagree with you, you see as most people said here, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so the man you see in those two mirrors each morning might be a welcome sight to some lonely woman. You might be just what the doctor ordered for her. She might not care that you don't have a perfect 6 pack, or that you (might) have bird legs, or that you squint when you look at yourself up close. She might see you as a very handsome, viril, somewhat obstinate creature that you are. Remember these are her eyes not yours. You will not see the same thing that she sees. She will be looking with her heart, not her eyes.

Jun 18 @ 6:39PM  
Ugly to me is a persons nasty personality.
Yes, I will admit that there are people who aren't exactly physically attractive, but what's on the inside can make them appear beautiful and a person who knows or is around them sees nothing but that beauty.

For many of us, that's a good thing.

When I was a teenager there was an older guy that all the girls were crazy over. He was physically drop dead gorgeous. Until I went out with him a couple times, then for the first time in my life I saw an instant change in someones appearance who had done nothing to it. He was so ugly!
Many years later we met again and he had done quite a bit of changing, and let me tell you how gorgeous he is now. lol

Jun 18 @ 7:34PM  
Ugly to me is a nasty personality. I don't care if someone is drop dead gorgeous, if they have a nasty attitude, that makes them ugly.

As for physical appearance, what one sees as attractive, another will see as ugly. It's all in the eyes of the beholder...That sounds SOOOOO cliche'!

Ok...I got some votes to send in for a certain contest/game going here....bye!

Jun 18 @ 9:03PM  
My Momma told me, Men love that which they find beautiful... Women find beautiful that which they love.

I've found it to be mostly true, though there are some really shallow women out there as well. But it's true, a man is more visually stimulated than a woman. A woman is wired to find the provider/protecter and the male is wired to find booooooooooobs!

Jun 18 @ 10:29PM  
Beauty is only skin deep for me. I think there are people that are pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside. Does this matter to anyone? It sure does me. If you are ugly on the inside, you might as well be ugly on the outside as well, as far as I'm concerned.

Amen to that.

I've wasted alot of time on people who were ugly inside and pretty on the outside......

Jun 19 @ 4:40AM  
My Momma always Said... "Pretty Pretty Does" and I have found out...Momma was Right!!!

Jun 19 @ 10:13AM  
What is ugly really?
No Idea
I used to think my ex-wife was a tractive all around, inside and out. Now I wonder how I could have ever seen her as attractive at all, inside or out.

With me she can be OK looking but very good looking when you put her looks with her personality or the opposite. An example of what I mean is; I worked with this girl that everyone thought was very pretty so I asked her out. She only agreed to go out with me because I was 21 (even though she was only 19) red flag. So we went out had an OK time but she came across as a stuck up snob. Totally turned me off. From then on she was no where near as good looking to me.

Jun 22 @ 7:18AM  
What really is ugly? There are some people I think are pretty damn fugly that other people might think are nice looking and vice versa. I mean....really what is ugly to you guys?

Based on THIS portion of it, I'm going to discuss the physical aspects rather than the social or emotional or personality-based aspects. I don't think there's anyone here who would deny a bad personality will ruin physical beauty for us, so let's just accept that portion as a given.

As for what is ugly, physically...

I grew up drawing, got into bodybuilding for a few years and thus have something of an eye for the physical form. On the other hand I've also noticed that many women I find physically attractive are NOT deemed so by other members of my gender (All Man, All the Time... 'scuse me whilst I pee a circle 'round my territory).

I happen to like slightly heavier eyebrows on a woman, although I'm also attracted to faces with eyebrows which are merely vivid. Other guys may make jokes about Leonid Brezhnev or Sasquatch.

I like big boobs (love 'em) but I also love the view of an athletic woman who is clearly built for speed.

I love plumper gals with all their lush curves but also drool at the sight of a feminine bodybuilder with those luscious muscles which look like she could make wrestling back count for something.

I cannot deny I might go for a skinny chick who simply had a beautiful face.

I am a face man, first and foremost, so that a woman with a beautiful face trumps a woman who does not have one, regardless of body type. After that I move down to boobs, then tummy, then hips and butt, then legs.

Here's the bottom line when it comes to the physical: I just love WOMEN in all shapes and sizes and colors. THIS woman catches my eye for one reason, THAT woman catches my eye for an entirely different reason, all of it seemingly WITHOUT rhyme or reason.

But ultimately, no matter how she looks, if she doesn't have a brain in her skull or at the very least a sweet personality to make up for a lack of academics or sense, it's not going anywhere.

Jun 23 @ 6:55PM  
I got an email from a 23 year old guy on here stating, "Hey, you're ugly". Really now? Who died and left him King of The Beauty Police? Bite me comes to mind-
Anyway, I agree with those of you talking about ugly on the inside. People like that can be handsome/beautiful and still be ugly! I work with this chick- she is stick thin, has pretty hair, is evenly tanned, blah blah blah. She's model gorgeous- until you get to know her. She's spiteful, and flaunts her good looks- therefore she's ugly on the inside.
I don't care how good looking someone is on the outside, if you're not a nice person on the inside, forget it. I'm not going to sacrifice principle, just to be with a pretty face.
I don't like to date really good looking men because it has been my experience that good looks like this are only skin deep- get below the surface of that beauty and you see something pretty scary.
I have loved not so good looking guys because of their inner beauty. I will always go for that kind of beauty over looks any day!

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What is ugly really?