I swear the older my son get, the dumber he gets!
I have "helped" him finanically over and over, (I know, I was the dumb one then), but it seemed each time I "helped" they (he and his wife) did sometime stupid!
This morning his wife informed me that his blood pressure was checked yesterday at work and it was sky high. He has recently gained about 60 lbs. I asked wife what he was going to do, and she said nothing, that he refused to go to the doctor.
He is a 34 year old man.
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slohand_47
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Jun 10 @ 10:36AM
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You can't help people who won't help themselves.
Underneath all that, he is either afraid he might find "something" at the Dr, which is stupid... ignoring things does not make them go away...... or, he just plain isn't very happy with his life and just doesn't care......... Or, he's still young enough to believe he doesn't have to worry about health problems unti he is "older".
In any case....... don't ruin your health worrying about his lack of action.
.02
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shewolf53
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Jun 10 @ 10:45AM
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I have learned from experience sometimes you just have to let them go their own way and not bail them out anymore. My oldest son likes to "borrow" money. I had to learn the word no real fast. There is a point where you havve to realize your kids are adults and tell them that if they create a situation for themselves, Mommy is not going to bail them out of it anymore.
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sugarnspice005
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Jun 10 @ 10:57AM
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It takes a lot for me to ask my parents for help. And they know it. When my finances took a hit back in 07, I almost lost my house, it was in the process of being foreclosed on. I bailed myself out of that mess without turning to my parents. And I'll tell you what...borrowing against my 401k sucked, but, I still have my house, and I'm wiser with the way I spend my money.
My Dad just found out recently about me almost losing the house and asked," Why in the hell didn't you ask me to help?"
Dad is already stretching himself thin financially helping my youngest sister out...I didn't want to add to it. And that is what I told him.
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somnium
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Jun 10 @ 10:57AM
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I guess people feel invincible in their early 20s and 30s until that first docs visit, when reality will probably set in!
After a routine check up one day, I said to my doc: the numbers you told me, sounds good and I feel good too! Well, he deflated my ego and reality set in when he said: Ohh, I can find things wrong with you, if you want me to!  I said: uhhh, we'll just leave things as they are for now- K?
You have done for your son, all that you can do- the rest is up to him! What he doesn't realize is, that his high blood pressure isn't going to fix itself and he better 'bite the bullet' and see his doc!
Just my 2ยข worth!
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Wordsofwit
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Jun 10 @ 11:00AM
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You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, though there are some horses that will fall in the water and drown.
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Ewe_Wish
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Jun 10 @ 11:15AM
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Sadly the high blood pressure is probably a direct result of putting on 60 at a fast rate. But there has to be something wrong for anyone to put that kind of weight on in a short span of time. He may just have a thyroid problem or other various problems but they could be easily fixable if he went to the doctor now. The added weight, high blood pressure could result in a heart attack or a stroke.
The only thing you can do is talk to him. Tell him you love him and you are concerned about his health. If he is determined not to go to the doctors, there isn't much you will be able to do but you will know in your heart you tried.
I hope for his sake and yours he goes to the doctor, but as parents we are only able to do so much for our children and then we have to let go and accept their decisions.
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Looking4ever
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Jun 10 @ 11:22AM
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It's hard for us as parents to sit back and let our children suffer...even if it is because of their poor choices. I think the hardest thing about parenting is to NOT 'help' sometimes. Most of us only learn lessons the hard way and it's the same for our children...even if they are adults. Yeah, it would be nice if they could learn from our mistakes but they aren't going to. And we probably didn't learn from most of our parent's mistakes.
I know you probably want to make it all better and kick him in the ass at the same time. As a mom, I've been there several times (at least!).
Maybe telling him how selfish it is that he won't take care of someone you love will work. I've got no answers...just an ear for listening and a shoulder to cry on.
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Wordsofwit
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Jun 10 @ 11:58AM
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his blood pressure was checked yesterday at work and it was sky high
I had friend that refused to do anything about a medical condition that was discovered at work. His employer provides employees with health insurance and he was informed that he either got medical treatment or he would be terminated. He got treated.
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flavorbuster
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Jun 10 @ 12:15PM
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The Silent Killer should not be taken lightly. I will not get into details but a close family member of mine had that attitude.... Here today, gone tomorrow & it happened just that fast.
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RevDocLove
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Jun 10 @ 12:35PM
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He needs to really watch it...Next comes diabetes, and that ain't no fun 
Damn near killed me before I went to the hospital..977 blood sugar count, really close to a coma from no return..Don't let him be stubborn!
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Sunshine79
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Jun 10 @ 12:40PM
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You can't help people who won't help themselves.
Amen to that!
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Wordsofwit
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Jun 10 @ 1:58PM
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Every loser is somebody's kid.
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StraddleMyNose
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Jun 10 @ 7:28PM
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A lot of guys don't like going to doctors. I'm one of them, but I'm also healthy and never felt the need to go to one unless there really is a problem. Something like an ear infection to symptoms of a brain tumor, oh yeah, I would certainly go to one then. 
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whisperingcomet
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Jun 10 @ 10:00PM
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Thanks for the comments, but let me tell you the rest.....
1. Their frig is on the bling, they have two small children.
2. Their septic system is backed up....shit floating in the yard
3. They dont have a lawn mower
4. They bought a $300.00 dog!
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