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Does religion really matter when finding a spouse?

posted 6/8/2009 10:07:02 PM |
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tagged: marriage, relationships, religion, straddle
  StraddleMyNose

When searching for a soulmate, does religion really matter? Some people have a problem with this, while others don't care about a spouse's religion if it's different from theirs. Can it really work in a relationship and/or marriage for you if this was the case? What if your soulmate was an athiest, and you were Christian, Catholic, Jewish, or any other religion, would you still marry that person? I asked this same question in a blog June 10 of last year. With so many newbies on here today, I thought that I would post this same question to them in an updated blog. Anyone is welcome to comment on this however.

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Comments:

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zaralyon

Jun 8 @ 10:40PM  
Provided they don't try and change my beliefs, or put me down for them, sure I could.
StraddleMyNose

Jun 8 @ 10:55PM  
I'm not really sure it would or even could work with a lot of couples. I guess for me it would be important for me to find a good Christian woman to marry. A woman with a lot of the same core beliefs I have about religion, morals, and some other important things in life. I think it would take more than just love to make a marriage a success.
somnium

Jun 8 @ 11:10PM  
Well... I dunno I'm an agnostic- I like to think of it as kinda like having a O+ blood type, for religion

soft_touch938

Jun 8 @ 11:27PM  
Yes it matters very much to me. And that's all I gotta say 'bout that.
499BLU

Jun 8 @ 11:27PM  
for me it does matter.i think that we should respect everyone religious views but
this can be and many times is a very serious issue.having the samem core
values is important in a friendship,relationship, or marriage.i think that if two
people of different religious back grounds can make a go of the relationship
without their views conflicting to a point to where it is a serious problem in
their relationship then i think that their relationship has a chance for success.
on the other hand if it causes major problems then the relationship stands
a good chance of failing.
Xien607

Jun 8 @ 11:29PM  
I have learned over the years that for me it is a very strong issue. I used to think that this can be worked out quite easily but it has been proven over and over again that I was wrong.
Ewe_Wish

Jun 8 @ 11:33PM  
Perhaps when you are young and are planning on children, religion should be a consideration, but I think as you get older that it probably shouldn't play as big a part as long as you both respect each others belief. I was married to a man who was atheist and our difference in beliefs (or his lack of belief) never caused a problem. I am a very spiritual but I don't push my beliefs on anyone else and expect the same respect from others, including the person I am in a relationship with.
Dione

Jun 8 @ 11:38PM  
Geez, I hate to sound like a waffler, but it really depends...

I can accept someone that's spiritual or agnostic, but I wouldn't mesh with a dedicated religious person, regular church goer, or Bible thumper, pillar of the community type. That isn't me and I refuse to be something I'm not.

StraddleMyNose

Jun 8 @ 11:55PM  
when you are young and are planning on children, religion should be a consideration, but I think as you get older that it probably shouldn't play as big a part as long as you both respect each others belief.
Actually, when I was younger, it didn't seem to really matter all that much to me. I was a little more open-minded on some issues than what I am now. As I have gotten older, religion has become more important to me.

but I wouldn't mesh with a dedicated religious person, regular church goer, or Bible thumper, pillar of the community type. That isn't me and I refuse to be something I'm not.
I agree with you, that's not me either. When I was a kid I use to go to church every Sunday, and actually enjoyed the youth group I was in with my friends from church. I pretty much quit going to church after I graduated high school and all. But that hasn't stopped me from having christ in my heart. I don't think going to church every Sunday is bad whatsoever. I also believe that one doesn't have to attend church to worship God.
flavorbuster

Jun 9 @ 12:06AM  
Heckling is in effect ..... No comment ... .....
straightup_9

Jun 9 @ 12:13AM  
Say What you will.....A person's "Religion" is centered around their "core values", if you will......and these always have a hugh impact on any relationship.

StraddleMyNose

Jun 9 @ 12:26AM  
Say What you will.....A person's "Religion" is centered around their "core values", if you will......and these always have a hugh impact on any relationship.
Very true!
shewolf53

Jun 9 @ 1:13AM  
I don't think I would mesh well with a bible thumper. It would not matter what religion anyone is as long as they do not think they are going to convert me. Believe me it has been tried and did not work. My attitude has always been you are who you are and I am who I am and if we can make that work for us fine, if not then we were wrong for each other in the first place. That goes for religion or likes or dislikes or whatever. I do not go over very well in the middle of the Bible Belt. I have nothing against them but a lot of them sure seem to have a problem with me.
Jujubear

Jun 9 @ 6:10AM  
Guess it would depend on how important 'religion' is in that persons life, or their family's life (not all of us get to move away from the in-laws for the first 20 years ).

Personally, I believe it's a relationship--not a religion. Wasn't always that way, but everyone has their path in life and sometimes you get surprised with what you find--usually in the most unexpected of places.
Taisen

Jun 9 @ 7:07AM  
I think it matters to a point. Depends on a few things. I am Baptist and grew up going to church. My husband on the other hand is supossed to be Catholic. He is not now. Growing up his mom only made him go to church when he misbehaved, which I don't think that should be a punshiment. Now he doesn't believe what I do and I don't expect him to. His views are different than mine. The only time we really had a problem with this was when I was taking the kids to church. He wouldn't go.
Roustabout

Jun 9 @ 8:46AM  
When searching for a soulmate, does religion really matter? Some people have a problem with this, while others don't care about a spouse's religion if it's different from theirs.


Don't you sort of answer the question from the outset here?
dmbchick420

Jun 9 @ 8:48AM  
Provided they don't try and change my beliefs, or put me down for them, sure I could.

I agree with this
Lisa46

Jun 9 @ 9:26AM  
As long as this person believes in God, we're good
shewolf53

Jun 9 @ 9:45AM  
"As long as this person believes in God, we're good "

But a person's belief in something larger than themselves can come in many names and many forms. Some's refusal to accept that fact can cause problems. I think that is less of a religious problem than a problem with having an open mind. To me each his or her own and leave me to my own.
Wordsofwit

Jun 9 @ 10:05AM  
Most people I know do not find religion important to them and have a live and let live outlook on religious diversity. Where that changes is when people are preaching at them or trying to legislate morality. It almost moves away from freedom of religion to freedom from religion. I suppose it is much like politics in that it is size of the role it plays in everyday life and how hardcore the other person is about it.

For me, on both politics and religion; I know how I feel, I know how you feel, we can agree to disagree. If I don't want to discuss it, I certainly don't want to listen to it. Yes, religion has been a deal breaker in the past.
Detach

Jun 9 @ 1:02PM  
As an athiest, I've dated quite the variety of religions. Jewish women, Christian women, Mormon women, Bhudist women, Wiccan women, simply spiritual women and even the occassional athiest. So long as their religion isn't preached to me, I have no problems with other people's beliefs.
Cootiesprayer

Jun 9 @ 9:45PM  
I think after this failed marriage. That yes, you should have some of the same beliefs you know the old saying "opposites attract" well it's hell living with that.
sugarnspice005

Jun 10 @ 10:21AM  
A person's religion is their own personal choice, and I do not use that to determine whether I would date them, or be friends with them. When I was with Mick, his beliefs were different than mine. He followed Magik, (not a misspelling btw), read Crowley and others...while myself, I always had a spiritual belief, just never claimed to be part of what I see as "organized" religion. But, on the flip side, my best friend is Catholic.

As can a marriage work if one is atheist and the other Christian...yes, it can. My Dad isn't Atheist, he's Agnostic, and my Mom is Christian...and they've been together 40+ years. Their secret is they respect each others views and leave it at that.
evild614

Jun 10 @ 4:48PM  
When you're Christian (78%) this is a question you have the freedom to ask yourself. Must be nice.

When you're Jewish (1.7%), Buddhist (0.7%) or Hindu (0.4%) You have a different question to ask yourself: Do I open up to marrying someone of another faith, or do I jump at the first person of the same religion as myself, even if I'm not crazy about them, or do I just die alone?

"It did not work between us. My ex wife was an atheist, and I'm an agnostic. We couldn't agree on what religion not to raise the children in"

-Woody Allen

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Does religion really matter when finding a spouse?