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IBS.....and Gas.........!

posted 6/4/2009 7:41:59 AM |

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tagged: funny

onehornytoad69

I B S
If you are over 30 years Old... you Have this or know someone that does!!!(If they will admit to it!)
What a Pain in the Ass it is.. Literally...!!( along with other Pains...!!!!!)
God really must have a sense of humor ...to make a person live with This shit!!!
Just yesterday.... I had a bowl of Cereal and a couple pcs of toast for breakfast.....
I watched a lil TV..and Played on the puter for a lil while....making 3 trips to the Potty!!! WTF? It was just Raisin Bran for pete's sake!!!... Its not like I eat a Cow..or a Pig..geeez!
One bowl of cereal = 6 bowls of poop...wth?
I needed to go to Wally World to pick up a few items....So i took a shower...and when i went to get dressed..I passed the Mirror....and I had to do a double take!!! I Looked like I was preggers...WTH? I haven't been screwed since I got laid off... and they didn't go that deep! So I knew.. it wasn't that!
I know I need to shed a few pounds... (20 is a Few..right? )
So I'm like..That's it..No more food for 2 weeks!!! Fuck all this Belly!!!
Well,I got dressed and I head to Wally world..and quess what... I had Gas...!!! With IBS...you really don't know its Gas..until it Leaves your Ass!!!
So I did the Ole... "Cocking My ass up" thingy... (BTW..why do we do that? ) and I Squeaked one out....!!! It was Gas!!! Well I pooted for at least 20 seconds..straight!!! No shit!!! Then I had to do it again.... I'm like... OK big boy.... You better have the Brakes Ready...for this one!!! ( BTW...Actually there are no brakes..when You Have IBS... )
So I do the lil..ass cocking in the air Bit...and let it go...Gently...and I pooted for... another..20 seconds Straight!!! No shit! and I did it Again...and Again!!!
Oh man...I'm feeling Lots better...My Belly had gone down to "Beer Gut" size...so that was very cool!!!
I was Very Lucky this time....because it could really have been a Shitty Deal!!!
Anyone Else Living with IBS? If so don't ya just Love it!!!

PS: this was done for laughs and giggles... No one Take offense to it please!!

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RevDocLove

Jun 4 @ 7:58AM

Well I pooted for at least 20 seconds..straight!!! No shit!!!

You're lucky about no shit!
I occasionally let a good ol' phfooter....That's the one you gotta' watch out for
There's juice behind it

Sunshine79

Jun 4 @ 7:59AM

That's an accomplishment, right??

flavorbuster

Jun 4 @ 8:04AM

I've changed my diet recently to 90% veggies & I've been farting like a yard dog Sometimes it's so rough you'd swear that you hear NASA counting you down for lift off

Wordsofwit

Jun 4 @ 8:06AM

Not I.

Sunshine79

Jun 4 @ 8:29AM

PS: this was done for laughs and giggles

I think you mean "Shits & Giggles" no?

I swear you & flavorbuster are related.......

Lisa46

Jun 4 @ 9:27AM

Damn for a minute there I thought you were hiding at my house I had the worse case of farts they ran me out of every room opened the windows up ate some tums and they were still going strong Finally around 11 I could relase my but checks without fearing of pooof pooof rrruuummmmmmm

dmbchick420

Jun 4 @ 9:31AM

Thank God I don't have that. Women tend to suffer from it more then men do. You know....one of the main causes of IBS is stress.

somnium

Jun 4 @ 10:01AM

Speaking of all this gas- I just remembered- I need to pay my utility bill- thanks horny!

Ewe_Wish

Jun 4 @ 10:43AM

There are things on the market that will help with gas............though I don't know if it helps with IBS.

Sorry for your pain................gas pain that is............

theSkwirl

Jun 4 @ 1:22PM

*raises hand* not fair at all I tell ya.

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