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Semantics

posted 6/3/2009 12:17:06 PM |
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  Wordsofwit

"What is in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet." From Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, 1594

Is that necessarily correct?

My live in housekeeper's "boyfriend" as she calls him, comes over frequently. Outside of a fast food run or a movie once a month, they only do one thing. There is no holding hands, no kiss goodbye at the door when he departs.

It doesn't really appear to be a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to me, more like a steady dick and a hole.

By calling him a boyfriend, do you see this as a form of putting lipstick on a pig to make it sound better to others, or are some women gullible enough to actually see romance in these sorts of things?

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Comments:

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flavorbuster

Jun 3 @ 12:48PM  
That's just a fuck buddy & by calling boyfriend is an excuse to bring him in the house. That's how I see it by the description you give
Dione

Jun 3 @ 12:51PM  
Not having lived in 1594, I can't say with certainty people applied words more carefully or better than we do today. However, my romantic notion is language then was more descriptive whether is was accurate or not. Of course, that's living a beautiful lie which many of us do daily. We don't want to scratch beneath the surface and see the truth... it's usually too ugly to contemplate.

The way a person expresses himself is very revealing. It's a primary attractionometer for me when considering the people I want to associate with on a regular basis. A person doesn't have to use big words to impress me. What appeals to me is a person's ability to communicate in an honest and forthright manner... raw simplicity wins over convoluted BS every time.

Wordsofwit

Jun 3 @ 12:58PM  
That's just a fuck buddy & by calling boyfriend is an excuse to bring him in the house.

She didn't need an excuse. My question was not what it is, as that is obvious. My question is do why do some women slap an embellished label on it.
dmbchick420

Jun 3 @ 1:01PM  
My question is do why do some women slap an embellished label on it.

To make themselves look better.

are some women gullible enough to actually see romance in these sorts of thing

Oh yeah....I know a few women like that.
rnj1013

Jun 3 @ 1:12PM  
Sometimes it's just easier to say boyfriend/girlfriend than it is to explain to someone "hey, this is the person I like and am fucking until I find someone I like better". I myself use "girlfriend" quite a bit when describing someone I'm "dating". I don't use it to glamorize, or mislead, anyone.

And I know all too many pigs that wear way too much lipstick......still won't fuck em tho
sugarnspice005

Jun 3 @ 1:19PM  
My question is do why do some women slap an embellished label on it.

I agree with dmb on them wanting to make themselves look better..and to add on to that, I think also, they do so because society still has a way of seeing a woman having a fwb as being a slut, loose, tramp, etc, and by saying it's her "boyfriend", then she doesn't look like a slut etc.

And yes, there are women who see a "romance" in something like this. Probably because they think they will be "the one" who can change it to something more.
Cootiesprayer

Jun 3 @ 1:32PM  
I echo sugar & dmb's comments. They said it exactly how i feel.
Roustabout

Jun 3 @ 1:47PM  
I'm sure I'll catch flak for it, but it's been my experience that women have a vast tendency to delude themselves, try to color the world to SEEM the way they want it to be rather than actually taking action to make it so.

Many years ago in Japan I lived with a woman for nearly 3 years, another American, another soldier.

She often had "Girl's Night" over at our place, inviting all her friends and putting in movies to play in the background (the movie was supposed to be the point, but it always ended up being chatter and gossip over drinks).

I discovered two things:

1. I discovered that women talk. I mean they talk about everything in a manner that clearly tells a man, if he understands this, that he should never, ever trust his woman with any volatile or potentially incriminating secrets. Trust me, guys: Her girlfriends all know EXACTLY how much dick you do or do not have swinging between your legs, how well you can or cannot use it and pretty much anything else you might cringe at and consider personal.

I know someone is going to say they'd never do that, and maybe they wouldn't; but trust me, whoever you are, you're more an exception (if you really don't do that) than a rule.

2. I discovered that while women will "behave themselves" with regard to girl talk while a man is around, they get focused on each other. The result of this is that if a man can shrink down into himself and keep his mouth shut, not move even to change position, they WILL forget he's there and the real girl-talk begins. It takes a while, but I'm not making this up. It takes a few drinks and you have to bite your tongue HARD at some of the comments, but like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park, when in girl-talk mode, their mental accuity iseems to be based on movement.

Since bashing men/boyfriends was the usual pastime and since often they were so disgusted by "the liars" they dated, I decided to try a little experiment.

One week I interrupted from the other room and I said "You know, women just lie all the damned time!"

WHOA, the self-righteous anger which flew my way! "WOMEN don't lie, MEN are the liars! Men just LIE, LIE, LIE all the time, and you think we're so stupid we don't catch it, but we DO!"

There were variations on the theme, but that was the gist of it. Women pour their heart and soul into a relationship and men just piss on it by lying.

Two weeks later they were back at it, and I interrupted from the other room. "You know, women think they can lie, but they can't lie worth a shit."

More vehemence, this time in stark defense of womens' collective ability to lie. "We lie to you all ALL THE TIME, and you never know the difference! We can tell you all just about anything and you just believe us because you're that stupid!"

I interrupted once more: "So you all lie to us all the time?"

"Yes!".... puzzled looks... glances aside to one another amidst silence for about five or six seconds... "No! We don't lie, but we could!"
visualone209

Jun 3 @ 1:48PM  
Ditto Cootie, DMB and Sugar!
Laura
slohand_47

Jun 3 @ 2:00PM  
Most of us do things that our mothers, among others, would not approve of. Soooo ... we rationalize it any way we can to make it ok in our minds.

Reminds me of a line in "The Big Chill" when Jeff Goldblum said that rationalizations were more important that sex. They certainly are used more often.

To answer your question, I was going to vote with lipstick..... but then I got thinking.
I knew a guy years ago who would take his "A" girlfriend out on dates, and when he'd drop her off for the night, he'd head over to the "B" girlfriend who would be getting off work as a waitress for a quick F***, then on home to bed. Kind of like your situation. I'm sure what's worse...... guys who behave this way, or women who tolerate it.

BTW, nothing ever came of it and "B" eventually married a friend of mine. She basically wanted a husband. I guess she figured sooner or later someone would like what she was giving away??

So, again to the question....... I suspect there are those who fall into both categories. You'd have a better guess than any of us which your housekeeper is.

McBunman

Jun 3 @ 2:15PM  
I've had situations where I would call a girl my girlfriend even though the true nature of the relationship was closer to fuck buddies. This was just done out of expediency, no need to explain things to people things that aren't their business. But I was always upfront from the beginning about what my intentions were, and the chances for anything long term were remote. Is the housekeeper deluding herself? Or is this just an easy way for her to describe the relationship? Or maybe they really do consider themselves boyfriend and girlfriend but don't interact like some perceive they should?
theSkwirl

Jun 3 @ 2:16PM  
Before answering this question I need an age range for both of them.
Wordsofwit

Jun 3 @ 3:00PM  
You'd have a better guess than any of us which your housekeeper is.
Now she is a babe, but the relationship rationale as I see it, lipstick on a pig.

Before answering this question I need an age range for both of them.
Twenty.
Taisen

Jun 3 @ 3:18PM  
I had a friend who had this same exact " relationship " with another friend of mine. He was staying here at my house when his mom kicked him out ( mind you we were like 17 ) and she would come over, fuck him and than leave. No hugs, kisses, holding hands. cuddles, nothing. I never understood it. They both would say they had a good relationship and that they were boyfriend/girlfriend. To me it was more of a fuck buddy system and that was that. Neither cared what the other did when not together. they ended up breaking up ( my fault ) but he told me at one time he never felt like she was a true girlfriend. He talked to me a few times and did actually say that telling people that they were boyfriend/girlfriend made him at least feel better about it. Never knew about her thoughts or how she felt about it. Maybe just good sex and no strings?
onehornytoad69

Jun 3 @ 3:20PM  
I agree with the Ladies!!!
(DMB and Sugar).....
theSkwirl

Jun 3 @ 5:20PM  
TWENTY? yeah, they are boyfriend/girlfriend.. don't you remember being 20? Can't hardly wait for the door to close before your clothes start flying off? If they were our age I'd suggest a bit of an issue.
casuallylooking

Jun 3 @ 5:32PM  
are some women gullible enough to actually see romance in these sorts of things?
Unfortunately, Yes.
You know how some kids will do anything to get attention? Even if it's negative attention, they are still gettting it.
I've known a few women who act the same way. As long as he's having sex with her, he's giving her attention and for whatever reason she sees it as more than it is and accepts it.

Maybe your housekeeper knows what it is and is okay with it. Maybe she has herself fooled.....
Hard to tell without her saying something to you about it.

ummm, no Bruce, don't ask. J/K
Wordsofwit

Jun 3 @ 5:34PM  
Yeah I remember being twenty, but it was just a dick and a hole, no boyfriend/girlfriend crap usually, at least from my end of it.
Ewe_Wish

Jun 3 @ 11:27PM  
I'm sure I'll catch flak for it, but it's been my experience that women have a vast tendency to delude themselves, try to color the world to SEEM the way they want it to be rather than actually taking action to make it so.
Well not flak and certainly not all women, but yes there are a lot of women who don't know what dating is. Some really feel that sex is a date, and as we all know it certainly can be a fun when you're dating someone, if all it is....is sex, than no that isn't dating. Sadly, some women have no idea of what dating is...........or a boyfriend. I remember a friend came to me one time with a problem and I asked if she had talked this over with her boyfriend, and she said no we dont talk about serious things we just screw. and they were planning on getting married. Lust and love are interchangeable many times, at least with some people (men included) and they wonder why the divorce rate is so high!

It is easier for some women to accept the fact the man is only interested in them for sex, if they label him as their boyfriend. They can pretend to themselves and others that it is much more than it really is.
soft_touch938

Jun 4 @ 1:33AM  
What's all the fuss about?

If I'm seeing a guy for any length of time then I may refer to him as my boyfriend. Why? Ain't no one's fuckin' business what our relationship is and I don't owe them any explaination. Boyfriend works for me for lack of a better term. Let them make of that what they will. Anything else usually makes others probe into my business with "He's your what?" Seems the term boyfriend is something they can absorb in their tiny brains and it shuts them up.

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Semantics