First off, hope everybody is doing well. I've been on vacation since May 22 and today is my first day back to work....yay  I don't know how much commenting I will be doing this week either....I've got so much work to do right now from being off, I don't know when I will be caught up.
Anyways....
I got this email. I opened it and was like WTF?!?!  It screams scammer big time. Is there a way to report something like this? Anybody know? You would think if you were going to send out an email like this, you could at least punctuate correctly  It pisses me off that there are people out there like this that try to take advantage of gullible people in desperate need of a job 
Hi,
My name is Mrs Stephanie Patterson wife to Mr Albert Patterson ,I came across your resume on Career Network saying you need employment.I'll need your services as a personal assistant for my business within the states. We just moved in to town a couple of days ago before embarking on a trip sponsored by my husband's company. Presently we're on vacation on board on an European line cruiser sponsored by my husband's company and we'll be back soon before the end of this month or at the very beginning of next month. I am a fashion designer, i design and make French wedding gowns, and I have numerous customers around the states.I work from home and i also supply stores with my products.I deal mainly in whole sales. I wish i had my website up already so that you can view some of my work but that's one of the reason why i need a P.A who will plan with me so that we can set everything up.Sandra is our only child and daughter and she plays a very important role in our family, ever since she was born,the family has never remained the same for good. There 're just the 4 (myself,my husband,my daughter and my husband's mom) of us in the house hopefully you will be the fifth person.I have an offer for you to be my personal assistant and to help with business related issues and advice, also to to take care of my business for me whenever am not around in person. You can send in your updated resume/references in your next email. I want to let you know that we're having much fun out here, we would have love to call you but the network on board is really poor because of the high tides for this particular period of the year.But we would call you as soon as we get a clearer reception. My daughter has been a little ill and she has been in the Intensive care Unit on board for the past two days, But I thank God she's is getting on fine and this will prompt us in coming home as soon as we get to shores.
I and my husband want to put things in place so you can start immediately we arrive from our vacation.We would like to have a brief interview with you,answer the following questions.
1)How many years of work experience do you have ?
2) Do you smoke ?
3)Do you do drugs ?
4) What area are you located presently ?
5)Do you have any disability ?
. .............Below is our Offer and Requirements.........
You'll be paid $800.00 weekly If you choose to receive your salaries monthly thats $3200 and its okay with us.
1) You must be able to speak English Language..
2)Is your partners in support of this position for you.
3)You must have any references and achievements ?
4)Ever been convicted ?? Doesn't matter to me as long as you have realize your past mistakes and now a changed person. I await your prompt response and as soon as i get your response, I will write back to let you know if you have the job or not.
Regards.
Patterson Family.
Don't you just love this:
Ever been convicted ?? Doesn't matter to me as long as you have realize your past mistakes and now a changed person. I await your prompt response and as soon as i get your response, I will write back to let you know if you have the job or not.
Seriously? 
LMAO 
Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)
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| Personal Assistant Needed |
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Lisa46
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Jun 1 @ 10:59AM
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My daughter has been a little ill and she has been in the Intensive care Unit on board for the past two days,
well if she's just a little ill I wonder what a major problem would be
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zena343
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Jun 1 @ 11:34AM
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I can't imagine any professional going into all that personal stuff while looking for a P.A. Hope your day gets better, lol.
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lunanegra
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Jun 1 @ 1:48PM
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In B4 a horny male quips: 'I'll be your "personal assistant"..know what I mean?  '
Welcome back,btw. 
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RevDocLove
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Jun 1 @ 1:52PM
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A really well put together letter..
All of the spelling, punctuation marks and proper use of paragraphs
reeks of professionalism
NOT
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sugarnspice005
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Jun 1 @ 3:00PM
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Welcome back, hope you had a good vacation.
So......since no one else has asked......Ya gonna take the job? 
That email is about as believable as the ones from the Nigerian lawyers/barristers who claim they will split 60/40 their deceased clients fortune with you.
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dmbchick420
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Jun 1 @ 3:13PM
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So......since no one else has asked......Ya gonna take the job?
Oh yeah...I'm on that like flies on shit....NOT
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dmbchick420
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Jun 1 @ 3:20PM
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You know....I've been thinking about replying just to fuck with them. Maybe something like this:
1)How many years of work experience do you have ?
None
2) Do you smoke ?
Yeah, about 4 packs a day
3)Do you do drugs ?
Oh hell yeah....if I can smoke it, snort it, or inject it, I'm on it.
4) What area are you located presently ?
Here and there..I live in a van down by the river.
5)Do you have any disability ?
No, but sometimes the voices in my head tell me I do.
As far as convictions go, I murdered a guy once because he took a bite out of my hamburger, but I'm a changed woman....I DO realize my past mistakes *wink* *wink*
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flavorbuster
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Jun 1 @ 3:31PM
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Hell, I believe legitimate employers should be screened by future employees because employers aren't as legit as they would like people to believe.
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MUDSHARK450
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Jun 1 @ 4:19PM
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Well, on the bright side your band has a new CD out
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somnium
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Jun 1 @ 6:26PM
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They forgot a question:
5) Sex- M/F
Are you crazy? Of course I want sex- lotsa sex!!!
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Sunshine79
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Jun 1 @ 6:44PM
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Presently we're on vacation on board on an European line cruiser sponsored by my husband's company
Doesn't she mean Cruise Liner??
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StraddleMyNose
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Jun 2 @ 5:12AM
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Yep, looks like a scam to me.
Btw, welcome back! 
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