I'm not sure what her name is or what she looks like. She mysteriously appears in the kitchen making toast and washing the dishes.
Trying my best to avoid her, I usually bypass the kitchen and go directly into the livingroom. Today I noticed the shag carpet looking rather shaggy and decided to give it a haircut. I plugged in the electric lawn mower and began my work, when suddenly I felt a stinging slap across my face. My dentures flew out of my mouth and stuck into the wall. At the same time my hair piece fell off and landed on the cat. The familiar ringing sound in my ears drowned out the obsenities spewing forth from the slapping ladies rather large mouth.
I immediately ran for the safety of the closet and locked the steel door. Safe at last, I could begin my day conducting experiments on the new line of edible space panties contracted to me by NASA. My panty laboratory has always been my refuge, and as I reverently placed my tinfoil hat adorned with last years christmas lights , upon my bald head, I muttered ....safe at last, ain't nobody gonna push me around.
Thankyou for your kind attention....Professor Pan.T.Borty. 
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read more blogs!
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StraddleMyNose
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May 28 @ 3:47AM
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 Love it! You crack me up, Borty!
Kudo for the laugh!
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zaralyon
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May 28 @ 6:04AM
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Good start for the morning Borty.
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Roustabout
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May 28 @ 7:09AM
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Un histoire d'absurdité par excellence! Salud!
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Looking4ever
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May 28 @ 7:29AM
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Borty, Borty, Borty. No matter how things change, some things stay the same. Got to quit using the electric lawn mower IN the house.
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Cootiesprayer
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May 28 @ 8:02AM
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thanks borty i need that.
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DarkKnightWalking
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May 28 @ 8:31AM
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You forgot the correct pair of mowing panties while usin that mower, dintya? 
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somnium
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May 28 @ 8:47AM
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I dunno...  if she can make things fly with just a slap, she sounds big enough she coulda used the mower to trim her muff- seems to me!
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girlcountry
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May 28 @ 8:55AM
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Ah Borty!! I've missed you!!  Some of them ladies can be down right mean, now can't they? Here's another kiss to make you feel better!!
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Ewe_Wish
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May 28 @ 11:02AM
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And this is part of the reason I came back. I missed your blogs..........thanks for the laugh sweetie...... 
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theSkwirl
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May 28 @ 11:47AM
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I can just see kitty now!
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flavorbuster
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May 28 @ 12:56PM
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That's an interesting story 
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Dione
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May 29 @ 9:26AM
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I nearly slapped myself silly with this one... bravo!
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