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Of Blogger Bloopers and Useful Information...

posted 5/22/2009 12:16:45 AM |
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  somnium

Geezzzzz- I seem to invoke people to 's against the wall!

This is my new attempt at providing unusaul, hard to find information, while eliminating my "Blogger Bloopers" at the same time!

After today, I feel like Peter Sellers in a memorable scene in one of his Pink Panther series, where a group of people got into an argument and while Sellers was trying to calm them down- he looked directly into the camera with a look of total frustration! Damn, that was funny!

So... I figured why not write blogs on hard to find useful information, that people can use? So... here are my plans for blogs in the future, that are chuck full of useful information both sexes can use!

I think my next 30 or 40 blogs from now on, should be about subject titles like:

For women:

"Glass, Ceramic, Rubber or Plastic Dildos"- which one for you and should you buy them or make them?

"The Female Plumbing Guide and the Proper Use of Toys"- and the proper care and maintenance of them- butt plugs are also included as a bonus.

"101 Things to do With Used Vibrators"- one example would be to use a super-sized model vibrator, to help set newly poured concrete!

Another Subject title may be "The Care and Many Uses of Used Panties"- an example here could be for win-socks at airports!

For men:

"101 Uses For Cock Rings"- and their proper care and maintenance- an example here might be as substitutes, in ring tossing games to win prizes at fairs.

"How Best to Use a Vacuum Cock Enlargers"- and the dangerous pitfalls if not used properly.

There's even plans for a subject title of "101 Uses For Used Condoms"- with a blank side bar for you to jot down your own ideas.

And last (for now) "How to Convert a Shoulder Massager For Use as a Ball massager"- gives all necessary drawings and instructions and includes an article on "Battery or Power Outlet Plug in Models and Proper Speed Settings for Maximum affect."

Men and Women:

There's even a planned blog on the use of "Sex Toys and Their Utilities For Both Men and Women to Use Together."- many tips on what not to do, to keep both partners from going to the hospital and suffering embarrassing extractions from embarrassing places!

There's a special blog on "Eliminating Computer Virurses From Computer Controlled Vibrators" and how to prevent further infection!

And a special for men- there's a planned blog on "50 Different Delicious Recipes For Sauces to Use on Your Partner's Crevice Sandwich"- all guaranteed to spice up your eating pleasure!

Well... that was fun! Should keep me out of trouble too- at least for a while!



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   read more blogs!

Blogs by somnium:
Lawyer and Pharmaceutical Ads...
Another Blooper Blog...
Bloopers...
Here's how I created my resume that got results...
Is it my dumbass PC or are others having this problem?
From Ordering Steak and Lobster, to Serving It...
If You Were Stranded On An Island...
Pilot To Tower Conversations
Birth of a Candy Bar, Pro quarterback and a Redneck Sex Test...
Looks Like Tonight is a "Coming Out" Party- So to Speak!!!
A Community Service Announcement... :) #2
In observance... for our veterans and presently serving personnel-
Of Blogger Bloopers and Useful Information...
I'm curious about this one thing about women...
HORNINESS - O - METER... let's have some fun!
A Community Service Announcement... :)
Damn... just got four identical emails from a lady named camille...
I've been thinking... about the nasty emails sent to our ladies
When was your first time you had a chance to fool around...
"WHAT WE HAVE HERE... IS A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE"
For those of you who can view videos-
If this has been blogged about before, I apologize in advance...
AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY YESTERDAY??
Yes... I am a little on the kinky side but phuck, that's ½ the fun!
Ya know--- maybe mother nature has it backasswards!


Comments:

post a comment!

somnium

May 22 @ 12:26AM  
Ohhh... feel free to add your own ideas if you want for possible future editions!

StraddleMyNose

online now!
May 22 @ 12:26AM  
Too funny!
ThePurpleProphet

May 22 @ 12:42AM  
Wondeful ideas. Make each one out to be a chapter in a book.
onehornytoad69

May 22 @ 5:58AM  
Wordsofwit

May 22 @ 8:04AM  
"101 Uses For Cock Rings"

Do I need to buy a rooster?

"How Best to Use a Vacuum Cock Enlargers"

Didn't Austin Powers already post on this subject? I was going to borrow a friends many years ago until I found out he kept cumming in it. Besides, like some guys say about titties can be said about cocks, "Any more than a mouthful is a waste."


visualone209

May 22 @ 9:37AM  
If you need demonstrative photos to illustrate do it to yourself instructions, I can most likely help you .
To funny Somnium!
Laura
aftershox

May 23 @ 6:38PM  
Sounds like a very practical list. Some of the newer rubber products still confuse me.

As to Vacuum Cock Enlargers, I would like to add this. I met a guy who bragged about the size of his cock. Looked pretty impressive online. The strange thing was that it was kind of fluffy even though he was hard. It was like the outer part had alot of loose skin. Then I realized that he probably used one of those vacuum enlargers.



How about a section on care and use of butt plugs? Perhaps with a warning not to try to steam sterilize them in the microwave? They are filled with gooey rubber inside that makes a big mess when they explode.

Or at least so I have heard....

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Of Blogger Bloopers and Useful Information...