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Voice Verifying

posted 5/21/2009 10:15:13 AM |
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  Wordsofwit

On occasion you will encounter somebody that you click with and the conversation will transition to private email. The writings become longer and more labor intensive, perhaps pictures are exchanged.

At what point does limiting communication to writing need to transition to at least a phone conversation?

One simple reason is that the average person speaks at 90 words a minutes and somebody like myself who is challenged with dexterity, only keyboards at a third of the rate. You also have the dimension of live spontaneity and I like putting a voice with the text runs. Additionally, and though it has never happened knowingly to me, you have impostors. These are often kids pranking or men posing as women.

I can understand, particularly in specialized circumstances, why a person would be slow to move to the phone or a face to face for legitimate reasons.

What are your thoughts and experiences? I have spoken on the phone with many people on here and found them to be wonderful and much more engaging "live" than in writing.

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Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 10:21AM  
I will add that I spoke with somebody from the vanilla site on the phone that was quite smitten with me a few years ago. She was a nice lady, but not my type for any romantic potential and she lived on the east coast.

She called me far too often and if she got voice mail and I didn't return her calls promptly, I got these long pleading, needy emails. She got to be quite a pest. I finally had to hurt her feelings and be assertive in telling her to stop calling and to leave me alone.
girlcountry

May 21 @ 10:27AM  
I, personally, would want voice verification. Before I married my husband, I always got voice verification. I've only spoken to 3 people from here on the phone and they are good friends of mine. There is another friend on here that I talk to on messenger just about every day. Have we talked on the phone? Nope. Do I believe this person is who they portray themselves to be? Yes. If I were serious about meeting up with someone, yes, I would definitly talk to them on the phone. Just to be on the safe side!!
dmbchick420

May 21 @ 10:43AM  
I agree with what girlcountry said. I would have to talk to someone on the phone first before meeting them in person.

As far as talking to any of my friends on AMD over the phone, I have not. I have had people give me their number and it's not that I wouldn't love to talk in person to some of my friends here, but I'm too broke to be making long distance phone calls

Shockingly, I don't own a cell phone either. Yes, I'm living in the stone ages people
somnium

May 21 @ 10:50AM  
One simple reason is that the average person speaks at 90 words a minutes

I knew a woman who could talk around 120 words a minute, with gusts up to 180 words a minute! J/K

I think the point is reached to gravitate to IMing and/or the phone, is when you feel you want to engage in a more personal/meaningful exchange between the two! You pretty much know when it's time to move from email- I think anyway!

onehornytoad69

May 21 @ 10:55AM  
With me..it was kinda a natural thing...talk via emails..then step it up to Messages/I M's..than to Phone..... hell i use to talk to..many PPL here....But most are to far away to have anything real with..or they have someone...so i talk to noone here Now!!!
But yeah... If I am talking to someone via emails/messages...and we are hitting it off...pretty good.....I do try to get them to Talk via phone!!!


Shockingly, I don't own a cell phone either. Yes, I'm living in the stone ages people

I have a Cell phone...but I dont use it!!! But I will keep it...at least till I get a JOB!!!! Then that SOB...is GONE!!
sugarnspice005

May 21 @ 10:59AM  
I knew a woman who could talk around 120 words a minute, with gusts up to 180 words a minute!

Now that is funny!


Myself, before I meet anyone face to face, I have to talk to them on the phone first. As for "when".....hard to say really, depends a lot on how the tone of first emails go, then IM's.
Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 11:14AM  
I'm too broke to be making long distance phone calls

Really, I thought everybody's land line included toll free calls nationwide. I guess you learn something new everyday.
Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 11:19AM  
I don't and won't do IM. I'm too damned slow on the keyboard resulting in typos and my looking ignorant. I can appear ignorant enough as it is without adding to the humiliation. I did it once and beyond the above, the exhanges were too shallow and meaningless.
dmbchick420

May 21 @ 11:26AM  
Really, I thought everybody's land line included toll free calls nationwide. I guess you learn something new everyday.

It does??? Not that I know of! I'll have to check into that though. Thanks
Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 11:39AM  
Call the phone company and ask them. If you don't, subtly threaten to take your business elsewhere and I'll bet the include it at no extra charge.
visualone209

May 21 @ 12:36PM  
I guess I am pretty much the lone dissenter on this subject. I have several reasons for not having phone contact immediately with anyone, male or female. I tried it once, I was given a number to call. I got some creepy sounding guy that had no clue who I was or what I was talking about.

I have a husband who is well known in this area and community. He knows all about me coming on this site and supports me, but giving out a home phone number is a horse of a different color completely. He hasn't said no to this (phone contact) but I know I have to be as secure as possible about who I am giving the number out to.

I also have some security reasons of my own with things like this. Some very serious ones or could have been. We live in a guard gated community for a reason also. We do not give out addresses, business names or locations and a phone number can easily traced to an address. These are a few of my reasons for caution. If anyone wants to know more about this email me and ask.

I have been having some fascinating email conversations with someone from here that I am thoroughly enjoying. He asked for phone contact almost immediately I told him much of what I just wrote above. He said fine and wanted me to feel comfortable that this was about fun and friendship (paraphrase, in case he reads this.), but after 3 days of short emails and a few longer ones, all fascinating and interesting, hints at the phone connection came. Now there is a little more pressure today. It appears a week of me trying this is more than enough time for me to be secure and comfortable with him, and it almost was. It isn't now. He said to let him know when I was comfortable and I said I would. But I guess that was not good enough for him and I am very sorry, he jumped the gun on this. I was feeling very good about him, but now the red flag is flying.

I am not against verifying someone is who they say they are, especially if a face to face meeting is expected or planned. Then absolutely verify! But, I have no intent of meeting anyone and have stated that repeatedly and very clearly. I have clearly stated I am here to have fun, meet some cyber pen pals and just have some friendly and interesting communication. Apparently that is not possible with the men on here.
Laura
visualone209

May 21 @ 12:42PM  
Oops! I forgot, One this long distance business. Many landlines do charge for long distance. One here, which is the primary telephone service by a slight margin gives you something like 100 minutes of free long distance service. But if you read the fine print, that is within their service area which covers maybe 4 states. After that it is something like 4cents a minute! Cable, as we have is far better if you bundle all your services together. Phone, TV and Internet.
Laura
slohand_47

May 21 @ 1:01PM  
Most land lines I'm familiar with still charge for long distance.

What a lot of them have gone to.... Like the cell phone carriers..... is unlimited long distance for a flat fee per month. They've figured out that most people use less than the minimum charge would have covered and it's extra $$$ for them.

I'm a pretty good typist so I love IM. That, and if you ARE slow, a few weeks of IM will really boost your skills.

As for the topic of the blog.... (yep, I finally got around to it) I've only talked to 2 from this site. Never met anyone. Really, unless there is the potential to meet someone, I don't feel the need to get on the phone. Yes, you can communicate faster.... but sometimes that typing buffer is advantageous. You can think a little about what you REALLY want to say, and if it doesn't look right, you can backspace and start over.
.02
Looking4ever

May 21 @ 1:29PM  
If it is someone I am interested in, I much prefer the phone and am not one to wait out lengthy email exchanges. I really don't care for IMs except as a quick way to say hi to someone I already know. Like DMB, I insist to ALWYAS talk with someone on the phone before meeting. Let's us get to know each other better and decide if meeting is even worth the trouble.
Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 1:47PM  
I tried it once, I was given a number to call. I got some creepy sounding guy that had no clue who I was or what I was talking about...I also have some security reasons of my own with things like this. Some very serious ones or could have been. We live in a guard gated community for a reason also. We do not give out addresses, business names or locations and a phone number can easily traced to an address.

As I said,
I can understand, particularly in specialized circumstances, why a person would be slow to move to the phone or a face to face for legitimate reasons.

Those are some very good reasons, especially when somebody has had bad experiences. Isn't there an old saying, "Once bitten, twice shy?"

Many landlines do charge for long distance.

That surprises me and I stand corrected. I have Verizon and they and ATT got into a turf war around here for land lines many years ago and both were offering anything to get or keep your business.

if you ARE slow, a few weeks of IM will really boost your skills.

LMFAO. I write for a living and no it wouldn't help as my keyboard speed (a true oxymoron) really is that pathetically poor!!
Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 2:30PM  
I guess I am pretty much the lone dissenter on this subject.

I have experienced this in the past, very rarely recently. When I did see it in the past there were no blogs in existence. It happened on dating sites locally, usually with new people.

The thing is for ladies on AMD, there are now blogs and the forums. Consequently, there are informal networks. Women can find out the "deal" on a guy that other women that have known him for a while. Additionally, all the lady has to do is go to his profile, click on his friends list, and contact the women on it. Doing that may justify intuitive red flags or provide a reason for hauling them down.
RevDocLove

May 21 @ 4:06PM  
The only free long distance I know about costs 19.95 a year through a device known as Magic Jack..
That's the most reasonable I know of..
Although mine is 39 cents to connect and 3 cents a minute..

Yahoo used to have a service where you could voice and cam anywhere in the world free through a group thing..
flavorbuster

May 21 @ 5:25PM  
I've given out my number before & they just didn't comprehend what appropriate times to call were, or that once a week was sufficient & hell once a month would of been more like it . I hate talking on the phone for hours... You live & learn I guess..
theSkwirl

May 21 @ 6:10PM  
I'm with flavor on this issue. Very few people have my number now.. all because one dimwit could not get that 6 a.m. is not a time I am very in to the idea of phone sex. Sorry .. but that's it.. now only people I consider friends are allowed to call.
StraddleMyNose

online now!
May 21 @ 7:38PM  
Yeah, we have called a quite a few times on here. I remember one of the first converstaions we had on here I did my "female voice" and you asked what you thought was a female if Shawn was there. I started cracking up and came clean. You were amazed how well I sound like a femail with a high pitch voice. I get a kick pulling that on people from time to time.

But to answer your question, I feel that it is important to get to know someone over the phone than just being friends on here. To take a friendship or relationship to another level is always awesome.
Dione

May 21 @ 7:58PM  
This is a good question. I'll get to it shortly.

Land line(s)... haven't had one of those since 2004. I don't miss it. Also, don't anticipate living without WIFI unless I'm purposely out of the communication loop... camping, hiking, or on a remote island, all of which I'm likely to do because I've done it before. I've found dropping out of reach is necessary on occasion.

Wordsofwit

May 21 @ 8:14PM  
I feel that it is important to get to know someone over the phone than just being friends on here. To take a friendship or relationship to another level is always awesome.

I totally agree.
Sunshine79

May 21 @ 8:52PM  
I'm way more "live" on the phone.....ask Shawn!!

If I'm comfortable with someone, I don't mind talking on the phone.
I just need then to know where the line is drawn & hope they
won't blow my phone up.
zaralyon

May 21 @ 9:07PM  
I have only talked to two people from here, one i wished i'd never talked to, and another I still miss. I actually don't much like talking on the phone on a normal day and even less if its a work day. But there are a few i'd like to talk to someday on here, as friends only though.
StraddleMyNose

online now!
May 21 @ 9:50PM  
I'm way more "live" on the phone.....ask Shawn!!
Yep, can't shut you up either... But hey, you're fun to talk with.
rdsingle

May 21 @ 11:57PM  
I havent been asked to talk to anyone here over the phone. I prefer emails or im though. This gives me time to think about what we are talking about. Besides i answer the phone most of the day at work. Get real tired of the phone. As for when i would talk to someone from heree on the phone. After we have become good friends, exchanged email addresses and have talked through im if possible. I have to trust that person first. Trust takes time.
Lisa46

May 22 @ 9:13AM  
I am very picky when giving out my numbers. I don't do it quickly only when I am comfy with someone which means I don't give it out much

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Voice Verifying