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Do opposites really attract?

posted 5/19/2009 11:09:25 PM |
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Okay, now that i am back on the dating scene got to thinking about my personality. I have always gone for free spirits not scheduled people like myself. In case you didn't know it I was born in Scotland & yes I have never met a brit. that is not completely scheduled in there entire lives. Now i have always rebelled against my parent's strictness & i suppose in my own way I am scheduled more so than most american's. But it got me to thinking.

If i ever did meet mr or mrs right, would i be better off with another scheduled person like myself or do opposites really attract. So let me know, do opposites make for a better more zesty relationship. Or are people more destined to be with someone who is more like themselves.

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May 19 @ 11:15PM  
I can't answer for anyone else... but Griz and I are quite different in many ways.
But we seem to level each other out and it just works for us.

Although he says I need to learn what "no" means.
I know what it means........ I just don't like having anyone tell me that nasty word..

May 19 @ 11:33PM  
I know that in friends I am usually best buds with ones that can't be on time for anything and I have to be at least 15 minutes early or I feel like I am late.


May 19 @ 11:59PM  
Opposites do attract....for a lot of wrong reasons.....can be fun and exciting for a while....But can you see yourself putting up with someone for the next 50 years that doesn't know from one minute to the next what they are going to do?......just askin'

May 20 @ 12:25AM  
I think it's better to be with someone similar. A messy person and a clean freak are not compatible. A late sleeper and an early riser may cause problems. If you don't like similar foods that may be a problem if you cook at home, who can go out to eat often! Fuck that! Only thing that comes to mind that works is if someone is really quiet and the other is more outgoing, that may be a good thing. I can't's late.

May 20 @ 12:29AM  
It's all about physics...

I know that the north and south poles of magnets are opposite of each other and they're attracted to each other!!!

Sorry- couldn't help myself!!


May 20 @ 12:30AM  
Beware of what attracts you to a partner because THAT will be the very things that down the line could make you dislike them intensely!

I'm not talking about physically. Macho men attract you? Eventually their macho attitude will irk you to no end.

He's laid back and easy going? Watch it...that could mean lazy, a slob or letting you handle everything down the line.

What I'm saying need to scrutinize what attracts you and ask yourself...will that quality in them be a deal breaker...DOWN THE LINE???

Know your needs...don't settle for less.

May 20 @ 1:17AM  
Yes, opposites are quite appealing......... at first. Eventually, they could drive you nuts.

It really comes down to figuring out what YOU want and need in a relationship and then looking for that type of individual. It could very well be an "opposite".

Personally, I'd rather be with someone similar to myself. We have shared interests, temperaments, etc.

May 20 @ 1:24AM  
Softy made some good points in her comment on here

May 20 @ 6:13AM  
With me..... Some Opposites do..make a lady more attractive to me!!!

May 20 @ 8:54AM  
As I am usually on Rhonda time, I think someone who had to have everything by the watch would drive me crazy. A laid back person and a type A personality usually is not good for the long haul.

May 20 @ 9:38AM  
Having different attributes can be good but "complete" opposites would not work for me.

May 20 @ 9:44AM  
My husband and I are a lot alike (similar tastes in music and hobbies), but our personalities are pretty different. I'm the introverted, shy one and he is the very loud and outspoken one. I really don't know what the answer is to your question. You just know in your heart when you've found the right least that is how it was for me

May 20 @ 10:04AM  
I think Opposites can and do attract at first, but for a relationship to work in the long run I believe a couple needs to have more in common than differences. I have been happily married to the same man for 31 years. I would not trade him for the world. We have a few differences (opposites), but those tend to balance us due to what they are. For us I am an admitted exhibitionist,my hubby loves to look and watch. I am sort of flighty at times. He more grounded in common sense and thoughtfulness. He plays golf, I run and go to the gym (well, so does he sort of) But all and all, we think alike, like the same foods, similar movies, music, humor, politics, our timing is the same, we are both "givers", he is a natural born leader, I am a natural follower. Our belief systems are the same on religious, political, moral, ethics, and suffice it morality in general. Our marriage is based on truth and honesty as a foundation. It has worked, as I said for 31 years and going strong and both very happy. This despite what for many would be a destructive lifestyle.

So I think it depends on what the opposites are. But I also think commonalities need to make up a major majority of each personality to be compatible. In the long run differences give more ammunition to disagree and argue about, in my not necessarily humble opinion.
Just my three cents.

May 20 @ 10:11AM  
I've always heard that if opposites do connect that it really doesn't matter because after being together for a while their personalities tend to start being the same after time for some strange reason ... If going by just the subject title I'd say they better,otherwise they would be gay

May 20 @ 12:45PM  
I suspect that while individual traits (neatness versus slovenliness, punctual versus lackadaisical, etc.) have a definitive bearing on compatibility, in the end it comes down to a very specific trait which individuals either have or do not:

The ability to give-and-take.

That may sound overly simplistic, but it stands up to reason.

A late sleeper and an early riser may initially get along; after all, we all tend to put our best foot forward, do we not? We're on our best behaviour. Nevertheless, that foot analogy is apt because if we desire to make ANY progress then the "bad" foot simply HAS to be forward at least 50 percent of the time (hopping stiffly and precariously is not an option in a relationship, at least not outside certain fetishes).

Ergo, there WILL come a point when said sleeper and riser come to conflict.

The only question remaining is DO they see this as insurmountable, both refusing to budge, or are they realistic people who fathom the laws of give-and-take? Agreeing to go their separate ways on occasion, the sleeper sleeping, the riser moving quietly to another room and accomodating his/her own needs realistically?

It's seldom a question of incompatibility so much as a matter of reason, IMHO. I'll grant, there are exceptions and some people are not meant to be together. Mostly, however, it's maturity and adaptability.

May 21 @ 7:13AM  
Yeah, i kind of figured that you guys. So I actually need to look for a scheduled person. One who is practical not spontaneous. Just thinking out loud. Thanks to those of you who responded I do appreciate the wisdom. Janet

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Do opposites really attract?