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Friends with beneifits...

posted 5/8/2009 2:06:12 PM |
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tagged: lingerie, roleplay, oral sex, kissing

A serious relationship requires quite a bit of effort. There are to many factors to list. But, if your just looking for sexual fulfillment and you can spell out the "terms", then you can simpify things. This was my approach when I decided to participate here. It's like an "arrangement" or even a "contract". This can be hard to achieve when it involves something so intimate as sex, and if your like me and want to include the emotional aspect of a relationship too, it becomes even more of a challenge. But I don't know any other way to do this except to just spell it out plainly, just like in a contract. Here's an example. ( Before we can even consider the "terms" the prespective parties must possess a mutual desire to be with one another in an intimate way i.e. physical attraction, personality, culture, chemistry etc. etc. and the mutual desire to engage in certain erotic activities e.g. role play, fetishes etc.etc.)

The "Terms"

1) We will meet together once a week for 4 to 5 hrs (time and day to be specified)
2) Location and transportation specified. (Who will host. Host and hostee meet half way and host drives hostee to host location, or other agreed upon terms)
3) What host will provide. (Food , drink, entertainment etc.)
4) Activity specified. (Food, drinks, music, sex)

These "terms" aren't carved in stone, and can be revised from time to time to accomidate each others needs and changing situations. Flexibility is important, because as relationships progress perceptions change, so it's always important to keep each other aware of how the other feels about everything in the relationship.
All of this could seem to take all the fun and enjoyment out of the relationship, but its only something that needs to be address at the very beginning so that a clear understanding of things can be established. Then we would move on to what it's all about, fun and enjoyment. Both parties need to be on the same page about what each one wants out of the relationship. Is what the man wants to give, what the woman wants to recieve? (and vice versa) What fantasies does the woman want to live out? Can the man provide that for her? (and vice versa) I think the best way for each party to find that out, is thru a candid discussion with each other. Another important aspect here is, do you really know what you want? Think it thru, make it clear in your own mind and then you'll be better able to express it to others. Here we use the "essay" to do that. Mine reads like a short paper back. Most woman don't have the patience to read it. I intend to shorten it up, but for me to say what I want it will always be longer than most. Thats why I think a one on one discussion is best, wether that be thru email, in a chat room or instant messaging, you have to find out if what each of you is looking for will satisfy the others desires and needs. I'm of the opinion that if enough women find out what I'm looking for there will be more than a few who would like to recieve what I have to offer. It's just a matter of reaching them. I'd love to hear back from others on this.

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May 8 @ 9:21PM  
woman have "contracted" to have sex for ages...its called prostitution...

May 8 @ 9:57PM  
In response to dumblond's comment, yes this would be true if either party sought "remuneration" in this case no "remuneration" is sought or offered by either party. If it were expected of, or offered to me, I wouldn't be interested. Hope that clears things up for you.

May 9 @ 6:52PM  
thats why men dont get what they want, they arent willing to offer what women want...

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