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Real absence excuses

posted 5/8/2009 10:20:23 AM |
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tagged: funny
  dmbchick420

Stumbled upon these looking for some Mother's Day poems...thought they were funny...

These are real absence excuses sent to school from the parents of kids at the Wells Branch School District.

Dear school please accuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

I had to keep Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she ware.

Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father's fault.

Mary could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.

Chris will not be in school cuz he has an acre in his side.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.

Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

Lillie was absent from school yesterday because she had a going over.

My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizaca ed. Please execute him.

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.

Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday she fell off a tree and misplaced her hip.

Please excuse Ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

Maryann was absent December 11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomack. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot last night.

Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She is adminstrating.

Please excuse Pedero from being absent yseterday. He had diah/ dyah/ the sh*ts.

George was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.

Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

Please excuse Wayne for being out yeaterday, because he had the fuel.

Please excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

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Comments:

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onehornytoad69

May 8 @ 11:06AM  
Cute..thx for sharing!!!
surv6969

May 8 @ 11:09AM  
Please excuse Sarah for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
Those were funny but I liked the last one the best
waynuckingfutz

May 8 @ 11:30AM  
These were all funnier 'n shit.

I think too that the parents had a few too many days off from school.
dmbchick420

May 8 @ 11:32AM  
I think too that the parents had a few too many days off from school.

I thought the same thing! Maybe a lot of them are parents that are members of this site......
Sunshine79

May 8 @ 12:16PM  
My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizaca ed. Please execute him.

Child abuse!!
soft_touch938

May 8 @ 12:25PM  
LMAO...and they say KIDS say the darndest things....
DarkKnightWalking

May 8 @ 12:28PM  
Lisa46

May 8 @ 12:49PM  
those were great! We got caught cause the school knew mom couldn't spell certain words. So when we skipped we wrote our own notes with proper spelling We could never figure out how we got busted
RevDocLove

May 8 @ 1:20PM  
My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizaca ed. Please execute him.

How??? Alka Seltzer up his butt??
All great
somnium

May 8 @ 2:13PM  
Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.



Bet that cracked a lot of people up!

Funny blog!

flavorbuster

May 8 @ 2:30PM  

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Real absence excuses