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Women Funnies!

posted 5/6/2009 8:57:26 PM |
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tagged: fuck, funny, sunshine

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-Kathy Lette

Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friend.
-Marcel Achard

My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures. (Alfie, 1966)
-Michael Caine

Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
-Samuel Butler

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-Charlotte Whitton

Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. (Mississippi, 1935)
-W. C. Fields

No woman can be handsome by the force of features alone, any more that she can be witty by only the help of speech.
-Kin Hubbard

Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
- Will Rogers

There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
-Will Rogers

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
-Oscar Wilde

Man has will, but woman has her way.
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
-Jack Benny

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.
-Gloria Steinem

Women... can't live with 'em... can't shoot 'em.
-Ivan Turgenev

You can never tell what's in a woman's mind, And if she's from Harlem, there's no use o' tryin'
-W. C. Handy

Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
-Joseph Conrad

If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher

The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.
- Alan Jay Lerner

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
-Tim Allen

Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
-Tim Allen

Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use the words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid the area altogether. Trust me.
-Tim Allen

Alrighty, it's Hump Day.......Anybody wanna fuck?

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post a comment!


May 6 @ 9:04PM  
If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
-Margaret Thatcher

amen to that!!!

Good one Sun! kudo to ya!

May 6 @ 9:12PM  
I like those!

May 6 @ 9:33PM  
All very good and I'm a man!!


May 6 @ 10:39PM  
The Margaret Thatcher one is my fav too Kudos....and always wanna fuck

May 7 @ 12:02AM  
but funny none the less

May 7 @ 12:16AM  
Well ladies

May 7 @ 5:18AM  

This one is sooo true!!!
There's two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
-Will Rogers

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Women Funnies!