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Insurance Claims

posted 5/4/2009 10:14:44 AM |
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tagged: funny
  dmbchick420

The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words as possible.

1. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

2. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

3. I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

4. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

5. I thought the window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

6. The indirect cause of the crash was the little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

7. An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.

8. A truck backed through my windshield and into my wife's face.

9. A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

10. Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

11. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the enbankment.

12. In and attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

13. I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached the intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

14. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

15. I was on my way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to crash.

16. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat, found that I had a fractured skull.

17. To avoid hitting the bumper in front of me, I struck the pedestrian.

18. My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

19. The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

20. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

21. I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

22. The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end..

23. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentlemen as he bounced off the hood of my car.

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Comments:

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onehornytoad69

May 4 @ 10:33AM  
flavorbuster

May 4 @ 10:34AM  
Well # 12 I had a wasp fly in my truck & sting the shit out of me ... I pulled over & killed the S.O.B. The rest are
max49

May 4 @ 11:20AM  
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the enbankment.
That's some funny shit right there.
theSkwirl

May 4 @ 11:21AM  
I've seen trees step out into the road and hit people.. trees really are evil.
somnium

May 4 @ 11:58AM  
That's some funny stuff there!

Gee... it wasn't my fault!!!



surv6969

May 4 @ 12:23PM  
Some people are messed up.
ThePurpleProphet

May 4 @ 3:48PM  


Them were damn funny.

I saw one like that where the lady said she would drove much better if she were sober.
Lisa46

May 4 @ 8:21PM  
14. As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident


Now this one I believe
Cootiesprayer

May 5 @ 9:29AM  
oh thank you i needed this!!!! love ya hun. :)
StraddleMyNose

May 5 @ 8:53PM  
Some good ones there, Holly!

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Insurance Claims