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Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment

posted 4/6/2009 9:35:33 PM |
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tagged: humor
  bandit892

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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Comments:

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soft_touch938

Apr 6 @ 10:11PM  
Did ya ever apply for a job at WalMart? Now you do it on a computer and you don't get to give your own answers...you pick from their multiple choices. It's all a hidden psychological test. They tell you there are no wrong answers...who are they shittin' anyway???

I suppose most places take applications like that anymore so ya just don't have a chance to be creative. My opinion? It's THEIR loss...yep!

Good blog!
PinkToeNails

Apr 6 @ 10:33PM  
you don't get to give your own answers...you pick from their multiple choices


Have you seen who's working there?!?!??! I can't imagine that test is too complicated!! LOL

And McDonalds is the same everywhere! God forbid you ask for no mayo on your burger.... that just fucks them right up!

Wordsofwit

Apr 6 @ 11:22PM  
In Texas, working at Wal-Mart does not require speaking English. Don't believe me, ask somebody a question in English. I remember when I lived in America.
Slowman200

Apr 6 @ 11:49PM  
It's REAL simple. If you can't speak english, get the fuck out and go back to your little shithole of a foreign country. DON'T bring your problems here, we don't need them, and sure as hell don't want to pay for them!!!
StraddleMyNose

Apr 7 @ 1:49AM  
I remember seeing somewhat of a version like this, but it had a senior applying at Walmart.
RevDocLove

Apr 7 @ 8:02AM  
Smart kid..He'll go far in this world..
flavorbuster

Apr 7 @ 10:01AM  
This cat actually was hired after these answers @ Micky D's , well even as a manager the pay wouldn't seem to be that great
Meena

Apr 7 @ 5:27PM  
wow, maybe I am trying to hard to be intelligent and non-smart assed on my applications.

I need to be more honestly and witty like that kid.

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Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment