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why they do it? (for a friend)

posted 4/1/2009 12:49:58 AM |
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  bandit892

I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whoever I want. I decided to marry my horse.

I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies’ profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 18% isn’t.Democrat Logo

I voted Democrat because I’m not concerned about the slaughter of millions of babies so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can’t tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don’t start driving a Prius.

I voted Democrat because when we pull out of Iraq I trust that the bad guys will stop what they’re doing, because they now think we’re good people.

I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I voted Democrat because I’m way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass that it is unlikely that I’ll ever have another point of view.

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Comments:

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StraddleMyNose

Apr 1 @ 12:53AM  
Those are fucking funny! Thanks for the laugh!
xquseme

Apr 1 @ 1:31AM  
Concise, sarcastic, and to the point. Greenie!

(BTW, my pipe tobacco's gonna be more expensive in the morning...thanks to higher
taxes! )
selectusername

Apr 1 @ 2:35AM  
Good point about the death penalty...
waynuckingfutz

Apr 1 @ 7:10AM  
In addition to the 18.4 cents per gallon federal tax on gasoline, you can also find your additional state tax here.
Wordsofwit

Apr 1 @ 8:22AM  
I voted republican because I believe in loans from China for borrow and spend and think it will be funny when a Chinese mother whose kid won't eat their dinner says, "Think of all the poor people in America."

I voted republican because in 1992 under the democrats there was no federal deficit so taxes must have been too high.

I voted republican because because as a kid I loved playing Stratego and the object of the game was to attack and conquer other countries for no reason at all.

I voted republican providing rats to keep our wounded with company and entertainment at Walter Reed Army Medical Center enhances quality medical care.

I voted republican because the constitution is a wondrous document that I shouldn't have to adhere to.

I voted republican because I like the idea of the government spying on me and in my bedroom.
bandit892

Apr 1 @ 8:58AM  
i voted democrat because I am beginning to understand why the Democrats* don't mind raising taxes--they don't bother to pay them! They of course expect the rest of us to pay up
bandit892

Apr 1 @ 9:03AM  
i voted democrat because the president is trying to save us by eating all the $100 a pound steak because he heard red meat was bad for us but left the spam for us to enjoy
loveslife158

Apr 1 @ 11:21AM  
They divide us so they can win. If it were left up to us we would work must of the stupid stuff out.

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why they do it? (for a friend)