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Sunday Sex Quotes....LOL

posted 3/29/2009 11:21:13 AM |
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tagged: fuck, funny, quotes, laugh, sunshine
  Sunshine79

Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
-- Dorothy Parker

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
-- Steve Martin


Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce

Conversation like television set on honeymoon...unnecessary.
-- Peter Sellers (as Mr Wang in Murder by Death, 1976)


A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.
-- Redd Foxx (from Comedy Album - Huffin and Puffin)

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
-- Phyllis Diller


Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
-- Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen (Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)


I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
-- Elton John

Sex is more fun than cars but cars refuel quicker than men.
-- Germaine Greer


Forget health clinics and gyms. Sex is the best cure. One good night of sex and your problems are gone.
-- Grace Jones

Sex is nature, and I believe in going along with nature.
-- Marilyn Monroe


You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither!
-- Drew Carey

Sex is a two-way treat.
-- Franklin P Jones


It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
-- Drew Carey

Humans are the only animal who can have sex over the phone.
-- Dave Letterman (My FAVOriTe)


Sex is the best high. It's better than any drug. I want to die making love because it feels so good.
-- Bai Ling

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.
-- Rita Rudner


I think I mentioned to Bob [Geldof] I could make love for eight hours. What I didn't say was that this included four hours of begging and then dinner and a movie.
-- Sting

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
-- Billy Crystal (City Slickers, 1991)


He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his practical.
-- Les Dawson

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary.
-- Barry Humphries


I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I slept on bunk beds.
-- Joan Rivers

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to?
-- Bette Midler


Continental people have sex lives; the English have hot-water bottles.
-- George Mikes (How To Be An Alien, 1946)

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
-- Rita Rudner


I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late, start without me.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

I practice safe sex - I use an airbag.
-- Garry Shandling


As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
-- Scott Roeben

Hope you all had a laugh, anyone wanna fuck???

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Comments:

post a comment!

RevDocLove

Mar 29 @ 11:51AM  
Ain't it all the truth???
cottoncandydragon

Mar 29 @ 12:27PM  
Thanks for the laugh!
Wordsofwit

Mar 29 @ 1:31PM  
Good ones, and a green cookie!
selectusername

Mar 29 @ 2:02PM  
I don't get the first one, "Fucking for apples?"

What's that supposed to mean?
Xien607

Mar 29 @ 2:24PM  
Perhaps, Fucking for Apples

Good Laughter, Sunshine !

One Sunday Green Thing
loveslife158

Mar 29 @ 2:35PM  
Thanks Sunshine.
somnium

Mar 29 @ 4:06PM  
Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
-- Steve Martin



onehornytoad69

Mar 29 @ 4:36PM  
waynuckingfutz

Mar 29 @ 5:23PM  
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

Hope you all had a laugh, anyone wanna fuck???

Where?
surv6969

Mar 30 @ 12:33AM  
Sex is a two-way treat.
-- Franklin P Jones
I have to agree

Thanks those were fun.

I will except that invitation anytime.
casuallylooking

Mar 30 @ 12:44AM  
Sex is a two-way treat.
-- Franklin P Jones
Absolutely!!
Blueyesprkln

Mar 30 @ 12:51AM  
anybody want a treat?
StraddleMyNose

Mar 30 @ 10:05PM  
Love some of the quotes!

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Sunday Sex Quotes....LOL