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Women fascinate me- I just wish they came with built in Help files!

posted 3/28/2009 6:06:07 PM |
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  somnium

Mostly for the men on AMD but the ladies can chime in too if you want!

It would be great if a guy could press his partner's right nipple and get a Help menu to pop up just above her breasts. Press her right nipple again and get a list of questions to ask. Press and hold her naval and pressing her right nipple and scroll down to the question of interest- then you would press her left nipple to select your question! You can lightly press her clit to tab over to any sub-questions there may be, then press her left nipple to select a sub- question and get an answer!

It might go like this:

Press her right nipple- a menu pops up
Press her right nipple again and a list of questions pops up

a- what kind of food do you like?
b- what do you like to do for entertainment?
c- what kind of sex do you like?
d- do you like oral sex? #1- do you swallow or #2- do you spit it out?
e- do you squirt? #1- would you want your partner to swallow? #2- or spit?
f- do you like facials?
g- do you like anal sex?
h- Do you like face sitting on your partner?
i- How many orgasms do you hope to have? 1 - 3, 1 - 5, 1 - 10, more?
j- Do you like: #1- toys #2- food #3- both #4- any fucking thing you can fit in there
j- all of the above and then some?

Press and hold her naval and press her right nipple to scroll down to the question you want answered- say question d, then press her clit once or twice to tab over to #1 or #2, then press her left nipple to select that question.

For example: say you want to select #1, tab over to #1 (by pressing her clit once) and select #1 by pressing her left nipple, her answer should pop up as: yes, I love to swallow.

To clear her menu and close the window, just lightly press her clit twice- if that fails, try bending her over and pound the Hell otta her for a few minutes- that should reset her body! If that doesn't work, lay her down on her back, insert two fingers in her pussy, curled up and finger fuck her vigorously for at least ten minutes, until she has a minimum of two orgasms. Failing that- I'm afraid you're gonna need a new partner!

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Comments:

post a comment!

waynuckingfutz

Mar 28 @ 6:14PM  
Hmmm.....I get confused with all the dials and buttons...I try them all at least twice...so I just end up going 'Awww - Fuck It!





loveslife158

Mar 28 @ 8:25PM  
I have been waiting for virturial realty women to come to be. I would still need the real thing though just to bust my chops & keep me in line..
Wordsofwit

Mar 28 @ 8:35PM  
I think that I understand the concept, but I don't need all of that to accomplish those objectives. In a broad sense, that is one area that I understand very well about women.
StraddleMyNose

Mar 28 @ 9:43PM  
Well, my right nipple was made to be nibbled and chewed on by women...
somnium

Mar 28 @ 9:50PM  
Well, my right nipple was made to be nibbled and chewed on by women...

And your left nipple is doing what... watching?

StraddleMyNose

Mar 28 @ 9:54PM  
And your left nipple is doing what... watching?
Hey, it see's some action too. But women seem to want my right nipple more. Maybe it's because I'm a "right winger" as far as politics goes, not to mention the right it more stimalizing it seems, and they pick up on that.
somnium

Mar 28 @ 10:02PM  
But women seem to want my right nipple more.

Are you right handed- which means she probably would cuddle up with you on your right side? Just a guess! But if your left one isn't seeing much action, it's gonna get pissed eventually!

StraddleMyNose

Mar 28 @ 10:06PM  
Are you right handed- which means she probably would cuddle up with you on your right side?
Yep! And yet another reason why the right see's more action!
lunanegra

Mar 28 @ 10:27PM  
I cant think of anything snarky- I'm tapped out.
onehornytoad69

Mar 28 @ 11:03PM  

But..but... but..... what would we play with?
soft_touch938

Mar 29 @ 2:17AM  
<------- files inaccessible...password required...

SECURITY WARNING....wrong username/password...try again.....and again....and again................ unable to locate filename, enter associated words and click SEARCH.....
flavorbuster

Mar 29 @ 5:29AM  
All the pop up stuff is a little complex Wouldn't it be easier to just heat up a pop tart
GryGoast

Mar 29 @ 10:37AM  
Id be happy with a "Mute" botton. Oh ... did I say that out load?

GryGoast

Mar 29 @ 10:41AM  
Oh ... and btw, there is only one thing I want "poping up" when I'm around a woman.

And yes, I did say that out load! Gawd, I lov this job.

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Women fascinate me- I just wish they came with built in Help files!