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Anyone remember the Two Dollar Bill?

posted 3/21/2009 8:30:06 PM |
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tagged: funny

This is cute. I got it in an email from a friend. Hope you get a kick out of it.

Everyone should start carrying $2 bills!
I am STILL laughing!! I think we need to quit saving
our $2 bills and bring them out in public. The younger
generation doesn't even know they exist.

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat In my billfold are a $50 bill and a $2 bill.

I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: 'Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go.'
Server: 'That'll be $1.04. Eat in?'
Me: 'No, it's to go.' At this point, I open ! my billfold and hand him the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.
Server: 'Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back.'

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Server: 'Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?'
Manager: 'No. A what?'
Server: 'A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me.'
Manager: 'Ask for somet! hing else. There's no such thing as a $2 bill.'
Server: 'Yeah, thought so.' He comes back to me and says, 'We don't take these. Do you have anything else?'
Me: 'Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?'
Server: 'I don't know.'
Me: 'See here where it says legal tender?'
Server: 'Yeah..'
Me: 'So, why won't you take it?'
Server: 'Well, hang on a sec.'

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, 'He says I have to take it.'

Manager: 'Doesn't he have anything else?'
Server: 'Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change
Manager: 'I'm not opening the safe with him in here.'
Server: 'What should I do?'
Manager: 'Tell him to come back later when he has real money.'
Server: 'I can't tell him that! You tell him.'
Manager: 'Just tell him.'
Server: 'No way! This is weird. I'm going in back.

The manager approaches me and says, 'I'm sorry, but we don't take big bills this time of night.'

Me: 'It's only seven o'clock! Well then, here's a two dollar bill.'
Manager: 'We don't take those, either.'
Me: 'Why not?'
Manager: 'I think you know why.'
Me: 'No really, tell me why..'
Manager : 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me: 'Excuse me?'
Manager: 'Please leave before I call mall security.'
Me! : 'What on earth for?'
Manager: 'Please, sir.'
Me: 'Uh, go ahead, call them.'
Manager: 'Would you please just leave?'
Me: 'No.'
Manager: 'Fine -- have it your way then.'
Me: 'Hey, that's Burger King, isn't it?'

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on the phone around the corner.

I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: 'Yeah, Mike, what's up?'
Manager (whispering): 'This guy is trying to give me some (pause) funny money.'
Guard: 'No kidding! What?'
Manager: 'Get this. A two dollar bill.'
Guard (incredulous): 'Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other thing he has is a fifty.'
Guard: 'Oh, so the fifty's fake!'
Manager: 'No, the two dollar bill is.'
Guard: 'Why would he fake a two dollar bill?'
Manager: 'I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?'
Guard: 'Yeah..'

Security Guard walks over to me and......

Guard: 'Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use.'
Me: 'Uh, no.'
Guard: 'Lemme see 'em.'
Me: 'Why?'
Guard: 'Do you want me to get the cops in here?'

At this point I am ready to say, ' Sure, please!' but I want to eat, so I say , 'I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and he says, 'Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?'

Manager: 'It's fake.'
Guard: 'It doesn't look fake to me.'
Manager: 'But it's a two dollar bill.'
Guard: 'Yeah? '
Manager: 'Well, there's no such thing, is there?'

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue and is an idiot.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too. Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just ! to see what happens when I try to buy stuff. If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.

Just think...those two will be voting soon


Too late, we already have a nation full of them

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post a comment!


Mar 21 @ 8:40PM  
True story...several years ago I need a stamp to mail in my license plates fees. It was after hours and I used a five dollar bill in the stamp machine at the post office. My change included some Susan B Anthony dollar coins. A few days later I went to a convenience store to get some smokes and the clerk, an Indian or Pakistani, wouldn't take them. He said they only take American money.

Mar 21 @ 8:42PM  
Yeah, sadly enough, I can see this happening with generation y...

Mar 21 @ 8:42PM think that's too funny to be true. ( And it's dayum funny, btw )

Next time you are at a conveniance store..... (this DID happen to me)

Try to use a Susan B. Anthony to purchase a Dallas Morning News......( newspaper )

young female clerk: "I'm sorry sir, we only take American money"

I can see Susie 'B spinnin in her grave.

Mar 21 @ 8:50PM  
Way to funny......But it's soo true!!!!! Kudo's...!

Mar 21 @ 9:37PM  

I have a full uncut sheet of $2. bills, 16 in all on a sheet. Still in the Government packaging.

Mar 21 @ 11:17PM  
Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just ! to see what happens when I try to buy stuff

L-M-A-O!!!!!! That is too funny! That happened to me once!! I have a 2 dollar bill I'll donate this guy so he can do it again!!!!

Oh.. try the dollar coin and the 50 cent piece!! Those can blow some minds too!!!

kids..... *shaking my head*

Cute blog sugar! Kudo for you!

Mar 22 @ 4:43AM  
My oldest sister works in a bank on certain occassions she sends me a 2 dollar bill in a card. I had so many I finally started spending them

okay i left them as tips

Mar 22 @ 6:16AM  
That doesn't surprise me in the least. We all have to deal with these idiots and the scary part is that they'll breed one day!

Mar 22 @ 8:21AM  
i had a customer give me quite a few 2 dollar bills the other day...i then gave them to another customer and she flipped out that i was giving her counterfit bills and wanted to speak to my manager who informed her that she could buy anything with those and that they were indeed! people! *sighs and rolls her eyes*

Mar 22 @ 10:22AM  

I could watch it all going down..Most excellent post!

Mar 22 @ 12:36PM  
Ijust got a $2 bill back for change in the Dunkin Donuts drive thru.....I kinda looked funny at it at 1st, then realized what it was and stuck it in the back of my wallet for my daughter.

I don't think the cashier knew how to count in a $2 bill at the end of his shift, so he pawned it off on

Mar 22 @ 12:46PM  
Here is the flip side. I went to a convenience store and made a purchase. One coin I gave the clerk looked like a penny but wasn't. It was Mexican money. The clerk caught it. "This isn't American money." I replied, "Yeah, I know, but I wasn't paying attention yesterday when you gave it to me as part of my change." He just smiled, and got a penny out of that penny tray many merchants have at the counter and threw the Mexican coin in the trash. We both chuckled. These folks are from Saudi Arabia and really good people. Hell, they speak better English than many of their native born American customers.

Greenie for you. It is so refreshing to see a blog on here worthy of participation.

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Anyone remember the Two Dollar Bill?