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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

posted 2/27/2009 12:03:59 PM |
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  FriendlyKitten

Being new to this and the regular site, I am not sure what is a repeat and what isn't but I got this in an email and thought I would share it with you. It's kinda funny but scary too!!


HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California .

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica . No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to250 lbs.

Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure forthird consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Abortion clinics now available in every High School in United States .

Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

I Love This Country!

It's The Government That Scares Me!

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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029


Comments:

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Sunshine79

Feb 27 @ 12:29PM  
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

Hmmm, isn't that something???

Geez.....well, we know it wasn't the octo-mom.

Love the Mexifornia too....Kinda like Texarkana (sp?) ((Texas, Arkansas))

But, why not just call it Calico?? (Cali + Mexico?) Meow!
max49

Feb 27 @ 12:38PM  
Sad but probably true. It's the Government that scares me as well LOL.
onehornytoad69

Feb 27 @ 1:01PM  
I'm sure Most of this will be true!!!
BTW.... I look at the Blogs posted as I would Head Lines in a news paper.. I will read what I want.. and let the rest go!!!
Some here have a problem with re-runs...fuck it...!!!
Who knows what the others have read before..
Dont Sweat the small shit!!
Post what ya wanna...!
Thanks,... this was a good one!
dmbchick420

Feb 27 @ 1:30PM  
^^^^Yep, what he said!

That was good....thanks for sharing
girlcountry

Feb 27 @ 1:36PM  
Ok...I'm gonna go live in a cave and become a hermit!!!

The more I'm around people, the more I like my dog!!
onehornytoad69

Feb 27 @ 1:44PM  
The more I'm around people, the more I like my dog!!
isnt that Lyric's to a song?
samclaunts

Feb 27 @ 1:58PM  
a green thingy

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HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029