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posted 2/25/2009 10:53:57 PM |
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  dumblonde

i have done chemo, had surgery, now have done 13 radiation treatments with 18 to go...its beginning to take its toll on my skin and my throat is starting to hurt...but i am getting there...my hair is coming in and i have more energy (right now, that might change) than i have had since october...i look and feel more like me...i can eat (unless throat gets too sore)....so, i am gonna try to make it...it has been like going to hell and back, but slowly, i see an end to this...

my problem...NO SEX...i am afraid to ever let a man see me naked...my breasts are lopsided, i have scars and i dont even feel like a woman...i feel like i will never have sex again because no one will ever want me, and too embarassed to let anyone see to find out...

and please dont say dont worry about it, any man worth anything wont care...that just is simply not true!!! men wont even look at me w/o hair, let alone want me if they saw my mutilated body....can i ever get past this, or do i just give up on ever regaining a sex life...

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Comments:

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PinkToeNails

Feb 25 @ 11:04PM  
Hugs to you DB!!

Hang in there honey!!

I'm thinking of you and will say prayers for you....

And I'll pray that you can get you a little bit!!

Don't give up girl!!
rdsingle

Feb 25 @ 11:07PM  
It will be rough finding someone to look past what you dont want them to see. They are out there and hopefully you will find one. Good luck.
1bunny629

Feb 25 @ 11:15PM  
You have done most of this on your own, as far as I know. You have weathered the storm of not wanting to live the last time I heard from you here. At this point I think you should focus on how strong you are. Most couldn't get through this. I am so proud of you. You deserve an award! The sex and the men can come later. Applaud yourself for now, and they will applaud you later! I promise you are loved. I know there are men that will be proud to be with you. For now focus on your accomplishments please!
Sunshine79

Feb 25 @ 11:41PM  
Exactly what Bunny said!!!!
xquseme

Feb 25 @ 11:42PM  
No, DB, it could have been MUCH worse. You're healing, slowly, and that's a good
thing. You have scars, true, but they will fade, some, with time. And the fact that
you're emphasizing living, rather than dying, is a big plus, too.

Keep fighting. You'll be fine. Those who can't overlook the imperfections aren't worth
your time.
onehornytoad69

Feb 26 @ 12:08AM  
Way to go Lady!!! Its awesome that you are doing better!!!
I will have to agree with bunny and the others...buttttttt
My Offer still stands
StraddleMyNose

Feb 26 @ 1:32AM  
As Pink said, hang in there! Also, I still wouldn't have a problem being humped by you...
southerngent64

Feb 26 @ 5:47AM  
Everybody beat me to the punch, so I can only say

"What they said!"

Especially Toad and Straddle!

Hang in there, beautiful!
Xien607

Feb 26 @ 5:58AM  
I am happy to hear that you are fighting this. The end of the treatment will come and then the healing will begin. You are living, That is the most important part.

As for the wrinkles and scars along with other problems that arise, I am already there after all my treatments. I know exactly how you feel about someone touching you much less even wanting to have sex with you.

In reality at our age and having this kind of treatment we are lucky to be alive and when another person learns who we are inside and they can get past the visual part they will have the best sex and partner they could ever dream of.

God Bless You blonde!!!!!!!!!!

You are in my Prayers

Lisa46

Feb 26 @ 9:01AM  
Now DB you know you have accomplished more than any one! Now its time to think of your scars of Marks of Valor! Not everyone could have went thru what you've done. So cheer up my friend your loved and will find someone who will see your marks of valor
manwithoutahorse

online now!
Feb 26 @ 11:26AM  
I seem to remember a pic of a woman with a great smile, drop-dead gorgeous eyes, wearing a baseball cap looking as hot as I've ever seen her. I saw no hair but was still attracted by that smile that lit up her whole face. Not all of your great qualities are gone and not all men will ignore you. If my business weren't in the tank and I could afford a road trip I would take you up on that offer to point out good restaurants in Pittsburgh. I pray things continue to turn around for you and hope that things improve for me so I can hit the road.
McBunman

Feb 26 @ 11:46AM  
You hang in there! Something you do have on your side is I believe men become less superficial as they get a little bit older. Some of us can see beyond a few scars or whatever and see the true sexiness.
RCNV

Feb 26 @ 12:17PM  
I am sorry you are going though all that, NEVER GIVE UP!. You can meet someone.
DesertSmile

Feb 27 @ 8:21PM  
I am so happy to read you are recovering, even if it is a slow process.

I don't know what to say about your feelings regarding your future with men. I can only pass on to you an experience of a very valued and dear friend of mine.

He had met a woman a few years ago on one of the adult sites. After many conversations they agreed to meet but not before she told him of her history and that she was minus one breast.

They met...they had a wonderful time and became lovers for many months. He claimed he never gave it any thought that was had only 1 breast as "this is not what made her a woman and sexy as hell but her confidence in herself"

So, if can work for other women I don't see why it can't work for you.

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