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A LOVE Letter... of sorts..

posted 2/24/2009 1:59:16 PM |
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  theSkwirl

Dear, dear inventor of the Deep Stroker Rabbit,

I don't know your name, but I worship you. You are my new face of God! Since investing a sizable lump of cash in your product and AA batteries just before Valentine's day, I have discovered a whole new realm of self-pleasure.

Not only does this machine stuff you full of man made meat, the rotating pearls, oscillating head and thrusting mechanism are almost enough to drive me to paradise without even considering a woman's best friend, the bunny! Once that bunny touches my clitoris and I switch it back and forth between gentle hum and TURBO JET ENGINE mode, speed and slow the thrusting oscillating action.. oh my GAWD! I can honestly say that I've never made myself scream while masturbating before now.

I'm quite sure that my neighbors and possibly my dogs and any cats within earshot would wish you had never been born.. but as for me.. and female kind.. bless you.. bless you bless you bless you.

A VERY satisfied customer,

theSkwirl

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by theSkwirl:
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address # I unno..
Update on Ann (BlueEyes)
Just Got off the Phone...
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #5
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #4 (and a challenge)
A LOVE Letter... of sorts..
Snow White and the 7 Deadly Sins
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3
A Paradox, A Most Ingenious Paradox! (The Prez has Speaked)
I've Been Thinking


Comments:

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FriendlyKitten

Feb 24 @ 2:12PM  
Now if they could just make them to cuddle afterward. Wait a moment a lot of men don't either. Very funny blog.
1bunny629

Feb 24 @ 2:14PM  
did someone say Bunny?
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 24 @ 2:20PM  
P.S.
Stop sending ME the damned ads for the fuckin things....
theSkwirl

Feb 24 @ 2:20PM  
True kitten but you also don't have to feed them or wash their socks.

I unno bunny.. do you do turbo jet engine clit tickles???
theSkwirl

Feb 24 @ 2:21PM  
I'm just tryin to tell ya DK that a certain blue eyed wonder woman could use a case of these ... and stock in duracell.
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 24 @ 2:24PM  
I was just pointing out that I get at least one spam mail a day for these things...

Hey, why don't you write them and see if you can become their spokesskwirl...

"Hello, I'm a Skwirl...but I sure loooove rabbits....."
Lisa46

Feb 24 @ 2:27PM  


I don't masterbate
theSkwirl

Feb 24 @ 2:28PM  
Aww Lisa Love.. there are two types of people in this world..those who masturbate.. and those who lie about not masturbating.
SleepingDreamer

Feb 24 @ 2:51PM  
As it's jelly which is a highly porous material make sure to cover the toy with a condom. Jelly has a tendency to absorb dirt and bacteria *no matter how many times you wash it, it will never be fully clean* which causes the material to breakdown at a rapid pace and can also cause allergic reactions and skin irritations and rashes. Unfortunately, jelly also contains phthalatees (softening chemicals) which have been shown to cause cancer in lab studies.

But good toys are good, I'm glad you found one you love! After trying over 100 products I still haven't found THE toy to 100% do it for me.
Cootiesprayer

Feb 24 @ 2:56PM  


Now if they could just make them to cuddle afterward.

Ah yes, but at least with this toy you don' t have to worry about catching anything & it actually thinks of your pleasure not it's own. Say I will definitely have to get one of those. All the pleasure of having a man but not of the foibles of being with one.
PinkToeNails

Feb 24 @ 3:04PM  
Ooooooh.... I have one very similar to that one!! Hot damn! Those bunny ears are awesome!!

This is when those rechargable batteries reeeeeeeeeeally come in handy! Now I know why my power bill is so damn high!!

Great blog Skwirl!!!


max49

online now!
Feb 24 @ 3:08PM  
Don't let her fool ya!!! Hey Skwirly Girl Ya wanna go at it again? You can tell them anything you want to.
theSkwirl

Feb 24 @ 3:17PM  
Yes, Maxi.. I'd like a fifth six and maybe even a seventh opinion if you've got the time..


True about the toys and germs.. I use a special type of condom because of a sensitivity to latex and silicone so... yeah and also use the disinfecting toy spray you can get at toy shops even after using a condom.

Ladies this toy will never replace a hard penis.. but it's the next best thing!!!
Sunshine79

Feb 24 @ 3:19PM  
LMAO, great letter and greenie!!
Looking4ever

Feb 24 @ 3:30PM  
Looks like a good investment for those stimulus checks....
max49

online now!
Feb 24 @ 3:40PM  
LATEX...SILICONE!!! I tell ya it was really me. Just cause she's da Prez don't mean she always tells the truth. Going to see da Swirl. Gonna give her alot of opinions.
StraddleMyNose

Feb 24 @ 3:42PM  
Shhh....you're going to put us guys out of business as far as sex goes...
1bunny629

Feb 24 @ 4:21PM  
well skwrly girl...
I unno bunny.. do you do turbo jet engine clit tickles???
...yep, recently I have been.....
sugarnspice005

Feb 24 @ 6:08PM  
I'm gonna get me one of those!
fantasyfactory

Feb 24 @ 8:16PM  
Being the "satisfied" customer that you are, I suppose you have the Ceasar 2.0 Love Machine on order already!
theSkwirl

Feb 24 @ 9:28PM  
Aaaaaactually I've ordered the Fantasyfactory, Borty, Maxi sex toys.. yup those are the ones.. I'm expecting them soooooooon.
fantasyfactory

Feb 24 @ 10:04PM  
You wont be able to walk right for days, and remain spoiled for life! I promise!
casuallylooking

Feb 25 @ 4:32AM  
fifteen exciting settings of stimulation: five levels of thrusting penetration, five speeds of gyrating pearls, and five speeds of erotic vibration.
I now understand it being a "Love Letter".............
Wasn't the person that invented rechargeable batteries a genius?!?
dmbchick420

Feb 25 @ 11:47AM  


*runs out to buy deep stroker rabbit*
ynot7769

Feb 26 @ 3:40PM  
well so ya get's da mrs to read this and what happens?? she tells me ...'''go out n git me a wabbit'' ;) soooo being me ..what do you THINK i do??? so i find it and drop it off n head out to work...ain't heard shit from her since EARLY this morning...think she likes it????



''shhhh be vewy quiet..... i'm hunting wabbit ''

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A LOVE Letter... of sorts..