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Snow White and the 7 Deadly Sins

posted 2/11/2009 2:43:15 PM |
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  theSkwirl

Two or three of you might remember when this was posted once upon a time ago.. I figured it could stand reposting.. enjoy the story kiddies.. and don't forget to pay your taxes.

Once upon a time, in Pervia, there lived a princess named Snow White. She was so called because of her lovely appearance. Skin white as snow, hair black as coal, eyes blue as sky and lips as red as roses. She was a real goody two shoes this princess. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. I mean, she was one of those princesses who wouldn't say shit if she had a mouthful.. you know the kind right?

Snow White had lived a very privileged life up until she came to Pervia. She had always had the best of everything. Nothing was ever denied her, she never even had to whine or work to get what she desired. It was just handed to her. Needless to say, Snow White grew up into a very spoiled and demanding young lady. She expected to have everything continue to be handed to her, even though her family had fallen onto hard times.

Now it came to pass that one day, the King and Queen had to let go all the servants because there wasn't enough food to feed them all or money to pay them with. They felt terrible about putting their subjects out of gainful employment but it was a recession. Something has to give.. and for the Royal Family, it was that they would have to do all the work keeping the Palace in order and cooking their own meals. It was certain to be a hardship on all, but the King and Queen vowed that they would manage to get through this somehow.

Snow White on the other hand, chose to whine and bitch and complain about how horribly she was being treated. When asked to do some menial chore she would stomp her feet and toss a hissing fit the likes of which had never been seen before in Pervia. This behavior went on for months and months, until one day the Queen (aka Wicked Stepmonster) had finally had way too much. She confronted Snow White with her behavior. Snow White slammed the door in her step mother's face. She tried to talk with Snow White about making things right. Snow White called her everything but a human being and stormed out of the Palace. (I know, this isn't the story you were expecting it to be, is it?)

So, Snow White, while pitching her Royal Tizzy, storms out of the Palace and out into the countryside, giving no thought to how she was to survive or where she would stay when it got dark and cold out. She was so busy ranting and raving that she almost didn't hear the sound of the Seven Deadly Sins coming back from a hard day in the salt mines.

“You owe me.. You owe me.. You owe me, that's our song..You owe me, I don't owe you, you owe me and you're wrong!”, sang the Seven Deadly Sins on their way back home from ass raping the earth to dig up salt to pour into open wounds. They were nasty little guys those Sins.

Snow White stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the seven little Sins coming up the trail. Were these new servants for her to demand things of? Were they going to give her anything her heart desired? What would they do?

The first Sin to spot Snow White was Prideful. Prideful was so very full of himself and his accomplishments that he had no time for some lowly princess standing in the woods. After all, he was a very important person and had important things to do. She'd just have to get out of HIS way.

The next Sin was Envious. Envious took one look at Snow White's bejeweled fingers and turned absolutely green. He wanted those rings. He wanted them NOW. And he vowed right there and then that he would have them for his very own. Snow White stowed her hands in her pockets immediately, lest he take them from her. But Envious knew, she'd have to sleep sometime. Oh she was such a bitch for having those things when Envious had nothing so nice!

The third Sin was Gluttonous. Glutton wants everything for himself. He would gorge himself on any food before the other Sins had a chance to get close to it. His need to be fed to the point of bursting was far more important than anything else in his world. He often drank so much honey mead that he was soused for weeks on end. This week was no exception. So Gluttonous demanded that no one pay attention to the Princess, lest she be invited home and therefor take up some of what was rightfully HIS!

The fourth Sin was known as Lusty. Lusty was packin! He took one look at Snow White and got wood right there and then. Lusty started circling Snow White with a very lecherous look in his eyes. As he would pass her, his hands would reach out and pinch or stroke whatever bit of flesh he could get near. Snow White had no idea what to do about this turn of events so she just stood there quivering with fear. This further emboldened Lusty who started tugging on Snow's skirts til one at a time they fell to the ground and Snow White was left standing in her tiny princess panties.

The fifth Sin was a very angry person named Wrath. Wrath was just pissed off that anyone was in his trail as he was trying to get home so that he could kick the shit out of anyone who dared get near his things. Wrath pushed Lusty out of the way, causing him to fall down and bump his ... head. Wrath just got more and more angry listening to Lusty wail.

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Blogs by theSkwirl:
Mini Rant
Some Things to Consider
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address ver7.1 beta
A Salute
Emergency State of the Mess Address #1
Can We Tawk?.. take 2
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address # I unno..
Update on Ann (BlueEyes)
Just Got off the Phone...
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #5
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #4 (and a challenge)
A LOVE Letter... of sorts..
Snow White and the 7 Deadly Sins
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3
A Paradox, A Most Ingenious Paradox! (The Prez has Speaked)
I've Been Thinking
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #2
Happy Dead Guy on a Stick Day Blog
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RANT ALERT
Holiday Scramble
The Pervian National Anthem
By Request, AMD Food Drive Take 2
Lame but maybe fun
Happy Holiday Cards


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theSkwirl

Feb 11 @ 2:43PM  
He turned on Snow White and told her, “Get out of my way woman before I hurt you. I don't like you, I don't like you at all. You are in my way and I will have to remove you if you won't move on your own.” Snow was naturally pretty frightened so she stepped aside into the mud on the side of the trail and let Wrath pass.

The sixth Sin was Greedy. Greedy grabbed hold of Snow White and refused to let go. He was going to take her to their home and make her his very own personal princess. No one else could have her. She was rightfully HIS, He had seen her first after all. It was his right... right?

Slothful, the seventh Sin, couldn't be bothered to do anything about the situation as he slumped slowly down the path toward home. He'd napped in the shade all day while his brothers worked anyway.. no sense in getting involved in this.. it would take actual effort on his part to do anything about it.. and well, he didn't feel well, he was tired, his legs hurt. Sigh.. so he just trudged along behind the others, dragging his feet and whining how tired he was the whole way.

Snow White was down right scared by the time they got the the Seven Sin's cottage in the woods. Between Wrath berating her every step of the way, Lusty pinching her bare skin and Greedy demanding that she was his, all his and no one had better lay a hand on what was his, she was feeling pretty abused. Never in all her pretty pretty Princess life had she been treated this way! How dare these little Sins take such liberties with her Princess self?

Meanwhile, back at the Palace, the Queen was worried sick about what had happened to Snow White, she was, after all, not such a bad stepmonster as all that. She felt badly that Snow White was acting like such a spoiled brat, but times were hard and everyone had work to do in order to bring the Kingdom through to a more booming economy. The King just stayed in his counting house, counting out his money. He never spared any time to look up and see what was actually going on in his Kingdom.. it always got left for the Queen to handle.

In the cottage of the Seven Sins, Snow White was having a terrible time. Slothful made her do all the cleaning and cooking for all seven of them. He refused to lift a finger to help her. Greedy kept pushing his brothers away when they would get too close to the Princess, because she was HIS damnit. Lustful wouldn't keep his hands off of Snow White's lovely bare limbs and kept trying to get a finger inside her panties. Wrath threw things around the room because things weren't done to his liking.. and Envious was busy pouting because he still wanted those lovely rings on her hands.. why shouldn't he have them? They should be his.. shouldn't they? After all, hadn't the Sins given that pesky woman a place to stay?

Prideful demanded everyone's attention because he had something very important to say. “Well, erm, uh.. I've called you all here today, I bet you're wondering why I called you all together today aren't you? Well it's because I am very important and have something very important to impart to you.. so sit down and shut up and listen to ME!”

The only one who payed him any mind, was Slothful, of course. After all.. he couldn't be bothered to get up and go in another room, he might as well just sit and listen.

Through all the din, yelling, breaking dishes and crockery, sounds of smacking lips and pontificating, no one heard the knock on the front door. Snow White's promised Prince had come to collect her and take her off to his Castle in the Clouds, where she would once again never want for anything and would continue to live her privileged and spoiled life til she was old and gray. Sadly.. the door was never answered because Seven little Sins and one haughty hoity toity Princess could not still themselves long enough to hear what was going on outside.

And so they lived, unhappily ever after.
dmbchick420

Feb 11 @ 2:58PM  
Great story...thanks for sharing it
Wordsofwit

Feb 11 @ 3:03PM  
Good one, taxes paid.
Sunshine79

Feb 11 @ 3:10PM  
Greenie!!
fantasyfactory

Feb 11 @ 3:33PM  
Here's your greenie!
zena343

Feb 11 @ 4:20PM  
Well Mr. Happy never mentioned it as a repost so.......... J/K

Kudos to ya Skwirl
lunanegra

Feb 11 @ 6:07PM  
Here's a krispy krunchy kudo kookie for you. Excellent story,brava!
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 11 @ 6:34PM  
And then came their cousin, sexxxxy.......





Taxes my liege......
zaralyon

Feb 11 @ 6:38PM  
Dang it now i gotta find me some honey mead, or rather a recipe for it! Oh and taxes are paid too.
Blueyesprkln

Feb 11 @ 6:55PM  
Great story, and the taxes are paid in full. What no refunds this year?
asnet

Feb 11 @ 7:06PM  
I am the EIghth Deadly Sin.
I am Picky.
Snow White should be a blonde, not black-haired.
What are taxes?
xquseme

Feb 11 @ 7:21PM  
Hmmm...Self absorption, and opportunities lost. How sad!!

Now I'm wondering in what context this tale was originally posted, and who the lesson
was for....

Cha ching 2 U!
fantasyfactory

Feb 11 @ 7:46PM  
Thank Gawd Slutty isnt one of the deadly sins....I would be in big trouble!
bandengor

Feb 11 @ 7:56PM  
Can I be Lusty?
bandengor

Feb 11 @ 7:57PM  
p.s. wanna fuck?
soft_touch938

Feb 11 @ 11:59PM  
Good one! Slips ya a greenie.
NightOfOld

Feb 12 @ 1:20AM  

That was just to good. I liked it.

Now here's those green nuts for you. along with a kiss.
ValentineGirl214

Feb 12 @ 8:30PM  
ladybootscooter

Feb 13 @ 11:36PM  
I 'members it my lil squirrely girl!! Happy Hearts and flowers to ya too!

*tries to walk away* "let go of my ankle dammit, I left a shiny green thingy!"
BaldyNBelle

Feb 14 @ 4:28AM  
I don't remember this story, but I did enjoy it very much.

Much love to you, oh and will you be my Valentine????

Huggssssssss and Kissssssseeeeesssss to all!

Oh and a greenie, wouldn't want to be accused of not paying my taxes.

P.S. You should check facebook, I left you some gifts. Yeah Yeah I'm a suckup!
girlcountry

Feb 14 @ 7:50AM  
Good story!! And taxes paid....
Nightstorm

Mar 13 @ 7:53PM  
A greenie thingy for you.

Hmm After paying taxes they are probably about the only green thing many have left.
Meena

Apr 9 @ 6:22PM  
theSkwirl

Jan 20 @ 12:35PM  
Snow White joyfully stolen from the Brothers Grimm. Just covering my arse with all the bitchering lately.

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Snow White and the 7 Deadly Sins