Silly Froggie! Treks Are For Kids!! posted 2/10/2009 2:07:37 PM | 3 kudos what's this?     report abuse

xquseme

It's been lovely here on the lily pad the past week or so. The temperature's warming
up nicely, and there's a better selection on the menu. Servings are larger, too.

The brochure said something about great opportunities for meeting women, but so
far it's been rather disappointing. You'd think that living on the shoreline of a lovely
river in the Midwest would be a great attraction to the opposite sex, but nothing yet.
Ah, well, it's still early in the year...

I've been told more than once that I am "charming," but after a few seasons I've come
to realize that it may have more to do with my wardrobe than what's inside. More than
one lady has commented on what a cute "green back" I have. I never realized that so
many girls had a thing for BACKS, tho...or the color green! Am I missing something?
Does that Kermit guy know something that I don't?

Some of the ladies seem more than just a little bit interested in my table manners...at
least that's the impression I get. Every time I reach out for a tasty morsel, one of you
always comments on how far I can reach with "that thing," and there's always a look on
your face of....admiration?? Shock?? Disbelief?? Not to be a spoilsport or anything,
but those wouldn't be considered appropriate table manners in MY corner of the pond...

Admittedly, I'm not much into material things, but I DO have this rather cumbersome
trophy. It resembles a spiky high heeled pump, and it should go with just about
anything in your wardrobe, since it's clear. It's a size 13 according to the mark inside,
so its owner will have no trouble identifying it. (I'll know HER, too...judging from the size
of those skis!) I thought about putting it on Ebay, but it's obviously used, and let's face
it--who would buy an unmatched, used, extra large slipper from a guy like me? I've
thought about using it for other things, like a champagne dispenser, but the last thing I
need is Athlete's Tongue, or extremely bad breath. Not that my usual cuisine hasn't done
that for me already...

I'm considering moving south into warmer climates. You know, weighing anchor, floating
the log downstream, and cruising the Ohio or even the Mississippi...like the kids in that
Mark Twain book. They say those Cajun frogwomen are HAWTTT!!! They're said to overlook
the occasional warts, too...

I'm still wondering why I bought into this scheme. The old lady who gave me the brochure
seemed to be in a bit of a hurry....seems she had a shiny red apple that she had to deliver to
some other poor sap. Some chick with SEVEN boyfriends. Imagine!

So anyway, that's the news from my pad. If any of you has the match to this, er, artifact, or
would be interested in taking it off my hands, give me a yell! Guess I'll map out my travel
plans to Nawlins....them Cajun babes really appreciate a good line!

Rrrribbbbitttt!!!!

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