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Does Where It Happened Make A Difference?

posted 2/7/2009 4:17:06 AM |
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  casuallylooking


In sort of following Flavorbusters blog about being in a monogamist relationship and cheating...

If you were in a committed relationship with someone and you discovered that they had cheated on you, would it make a diference as to where it happened? Whether it was in your bed... the person they were withs bed or somewhere else? Say a hotel, at work or a car for example..

Would any of them be more excusable than the others?

Would it make a difference if the person they cheated with was of the same sex?

If you are polyamorous , Where is your line that once it is crossed, it is considered cheating and/or not acceptable?

Does it make a difference where either of you is with someone else?

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Comments:

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zena343

Feb 7 @ 8:13AM  
I suppose if it were in my own home and my own bed I would be doubly pissed, and heaven forbid should I find them. OMG just the thought makes me ill. I don't understand how people can say " I'm happy in my marriage" but just want alittle excitement on the side. Relationships and commitments take alot of hard work and effort (I think we all know that) but if you aren't willing to give it your all, or if your partner isn't then it's time to leave.

In this scenerio I am talking about two well abled bodies, someone just cheating cause they want to get their rocks off, or just enjoy the chase, or they like the excitement of someone new, or what have you. I know there are relationships out there where their partners are unable to have sex because of physical or mental illness, and I'm really not sure how I feel on that one. Then there are ones that agree that they will share, these people have their own sets of rules and thats fine. It's the actually cheaters who screw someone who is not their partner, not their significant other, and someone their not in a relationships with.....these to me are the dogs!! My opinion on that will never change!
Wordsofwit

online now!
Feb 7 @ 8:20AM  
Having it happen in my bed, home, car, etc. would add fuel to the fire and insult to injury.
rnj1013

Feb 7 @ 8:23AM  
Doesn't matter where it happens or who it happens with to me. If I'm not enough for you, tell me and move on cos you can bet your ass if I find somebody better than you, that's what I'm doing. Life is too short to be wasted on someone who doesn't do it for me or doesn't treat me with the same respect that I give them.
zena343

Feb 7 @ 8:29AM  
RNJ you are so damn right!! Kudos to CL but I wish I could give one to you to rnj!!
soft_touch938

Feb 7 @ 8:49AM  
I'm from the old school. Although I've dabbled in other types of relationships, I've found that I can't escape my basic morals, principals and beliefs. I am a one on one person and a commitment is just that. Cheat on me and you'll find your ass on the curb...don't make a hill of beans where or why you did it.

Now ya know why I'm alone....oh well.....
Lisa46

Feb 7 @ 9:03AM  
Well this one is a touchy subject with me I walked in on my b/f fucking a hole in our bed So I was pissed to the max and I left
zena343

Feb 7 @ 9:09AM  
Lisa why do you have holes in your bed, LOL? Or was the hole attached to a female!!
Sunshine79

Feb 7 @ 9:49AM  
Yeah, it matters. To find out that it was your bed, is the worst.

To find out it was your car, that's bad too.

To find out it's somewhere you haven't ever done it with them, now that's just irritating and kind of hurtful. That they can fuck with someone else in a certain spot, but not with you.
ladybootscooter

Feb 7 @ 10:00AM  
Way back in 1982 I had to go into the hospital for a couple of days for some minor surgery ......I get home from the hospital to find a note thanking my man for the wonderful time the night before, it's signed with lots of xoxoxoxo's, this note was lying on MY pillow, which now reeked of cheap perfume and lots of sex!!! Needless to say when he got home, he found the bed burning in the front yard and the apartment empty of the rest of my things. Never looked back.
onehornytoad69

Feb 7 @ 10:35AM  
If it happened somewhere Personal... sure it would hurt more....well Piss me off more... that is..!!!
This Country boy,... dont play that shit!!!
Enough Said!
samclaunts

Feb 7 @ 10:36AM  
I did not do it this time
flavorbuster

Feb 7 @ 11:29AM  
This is interesting
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 7 @ 11:44AM  
Whether it was in your bed

There's an old saying somewhere about a "Marriage Bed." And I think that applies to any sort of relationship. Which to me is the worst form of insult and total disrespect to a relationship. And also to me extends to the entire house.Not that it is good in any location, period.

Would any of them be more excusable than the others?
Ummm....No. Is murder excusable in any form, or is it still murder?
In my opinion, you just murdered the relationship...
Rnj hit it on the head with a sledgehammer. If it is not working out for you to the point you have to stray, end it. Save both sides some dignity and a lot of pain.

Would it make a difference if the person they cheated with was of the same sex?
I have read where to men at least, cheating with another of the same sex is a BIG hurt. Not only does it hurt that they got cheated on, but its a direct insult to their manhood and prowess as a man.

If you are polyamorous , Where is your line that once it is crossed, it is considered cheating and/or not acceptable?
Never been poly, but I am guessing when its done either without permission or knowledge of their partner.

Wordsofwit

online now!
Feb 7 @ 12:15PM  
There's an old saying somewhere about a "Marriage Bed."
I had a girlfriend and we had done a lot boogie in my bed. When she moved in with me, there was a condition, get a new bed. She said, "No bird likes a dirty nest."

Would it make a difference if the person they cheated with was of the same sex?
I recall a poll a few years ago on another site about this and catching them in the act. The number one answer from women was overwhelmingly, divorce them. From the guys there were two answers cited significantly more than the others, join in was number one closely followed by watch.

casuallylooking

Feb 7 @ 12:46PM  
Lisa why do you have holes in your bed, LOL? Or was the hole attached to a female!!
My thoughts exactly.. Or did she mean ho?

My thoughts are cheating is cheating and it's going to hurt and piss me off no matter where it happens...But do it in my/our bed and I'm hoping that I get a judge/jury that has been through it and is sympathetic...

I did not do it this time
@Sam
flavorbuster

Feb 7 @ 12:51PM  
The fact of being cheated on is emotional enough but the very worst regardless of where it was caught or noticed would be catching something you can't wash off !!! That would piss me off to no end
casuallylooking

Feb 7 @ 1:22PM  
would be catching something you can't wash off !!! That would piss me off to no end
I was basically kidding about the judge/jury before, but if I caught something from him due to his cheating... pissed off does not begin to describe it.

In my opinion, you just murdered the relationship...
Rnj hit it on the head with a sledgehammer. If it is not working out for you to the point you have to stray, end it. Save both sides some dignity and a lot of pain.
I completely agree. Just make a decision and be honest.

Never looked back.
Doesn't sound like there was a reason to look back..



Detach

Feb 7 @ 2:10PM  
If someone cheated on me, I don't know how I would feel. As someone who is usually upbeat, I think I would have to "fake some anger" towards the other person.

But then again, I don't believe in marriage and monogamy doesn't seem to work for most people in relationships nowadays. Otherwise there wouldn't be so much cheating, right?
Lisa46

Feb 7 @ 2:22PM  
Lisa why do you have holes in your bed, LOL? Or was the hole attached to a female!!


My thoughts exactly.. Or did she mean ho?


Just the memory made me mad all over again yep I meant ho, cunt, white trash take your choice
1bunny629

Feb 7 @ 2:57PM  
Cheating is cheating.
ynot7769

Feb 8 @ 1:00PM  
this discusion took us all of about 3 seconds.....''cheating is cheating...'' WHERE means NOTHING
onehornytoad69

Feb 8 @ 1:11PM  
I meant ho,
daymn... I was gonna ask ya..... how do you make a "Fucking" Hole in the bed...

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Does Where It Happened Make A Difference?