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Getting Revenge

posted 2/4/2009 10:08:35 AM |
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tagged: ex, revenge

So, normally I'm not the type of person that "seeks revenge" on someone because I believe what goes around comes around. However, lately someone (ex-husband) has just done some shit to me beyond belief that I am not going to go into too great of detail. Let's just say he is trying to turn my kids against me and yesterday I got my heart broken by my children. This has been an ongoing battle between he and I and I thought shit was in the past, but this asshole cannot let shit go. I've been accused of breaking into his house and threatened to be taken back to court involving custody issues. Really I'm just kinda at my wit's end regarding this guy. I don't even have to do ANYTHING and I get accused of EVERYTHING. So that is the "very, very short" version and I could write a book about what this asshole has done to me, but then again there are always 3 sides to a story - mine, his, and the truth.

Anyways....I've been just stewing over here thinking of what I could do to hurt this guy maybe half as bad as I've been hurt. Part of me just wants to be the better person and "let sleeping dogs lie" and the other part of me wants to go Michael Douglas in Falling Down style on him I know it isn't healthy to be a revenge seeker, but I cannot help it. I've even thought about creating a fake profile on MySpace with his picture and all and write all kinds of nasty crap about him, but in hindsight that seems a bit childish and petty, although I haven't totally ruled out doing that because this jackass gets to be childish and do petty shit, so why can't I?

I'm partly blogging this to get advice and to see what others would do in this situation and also partly because I'm wondering if any of you have ever sought revenge, and if so, what did you do to get your revenge?

I also found this site: Get Revenge On Your Ex. It looks kinda interesting....may have to give it more of a look

I'm also asking to please keep negative comments to yourself on this blog. You have absolutely no idea the hell I've been put through by this man for the past 7 years and this blog is only the teeny tiny tip of the iceberg. I'm only seeking advice and/or similiar situations where someone has felt the way I do.

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Feb 4 @ 10:23AM  
A long time ago my old landlord screwed me over on some money.It wasn't enough to be worth going to court over. To make myself feel better I signed him up for a bunch of hardcore gay porn magazines and had them mailed to the office where he worked.

Feb 4 @ 10:26AM  
I wish I had the answer to that one sweetie but unfortunately I don't. I was divorced from my kids mother 9 years ago and she has succeeded in turning my kids against me including my oldest from another marriage that I was given custody of when he was 3 years old. I'm sure my kids are all older than yours but some way she has made me look like the bad guy and they no longer have anything to do with me. I haven't seen or heard from my oldest for 3 years, my daughter for 2 years and my youngest tried to keep in touch until about 8 months ago and now I never see or hear from him. Him and his wife have split up and he picks my 2 year old grand daughter up from her Dad's house that is 4 miles down the road from where I live and he never stops by so I can see her or him. All I can say is good luck to you darlin'. I hope your kids aren't turned against you the way mine have been turned against me. I DO know how bad it hurts.

Feb 4 @ 10:41AM  
I know just how you feel.. You your ex me my sister in-law... Revange would be nice.. Been thinking the same thing here..
But I have come to a conclusion.. To let her just keep her shit going and me just sit here and do nothing and in the end she will look like the bad person.. And let karma bite her in the ass..

Hold your head up high hun... Don't stoop to his level.. And hopefully in the end things will be better...

Feb 4 @ 10:45AM  
I am Not an revenge I'm no Help!!!!
Most of the time... "They will get theirs!"
Plz ...dont forget about the children!!! You know how it is... they always seem to get caught up in Mom and Dads...Problems!!!
Good Luck to ya!!

Feb 4 @ 11:11AM  
I am so the wrong person to ask .. cuz right now, if I had a weapon and a ride.. mine would be laying in a pool of his own vile filthy blood. Doing exactly the same thing and I've been divorced from him for 14 years now.

Feb 4 @ 11:52AM  
Revenge is kinda like resentments, can't remember who said it, but it's like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy. Like you said, what goes around comes around, and I've definitely found that to be one of life's "almost absolutes".

The Mama had some good advice. Me........I 've been screwed over royally, and sure, I got pissed, wanted retribution, revenge,......some sort of justice. But when it's all said and done.....I'd rather be the one getting wronged than be the one doing wrong.

In my experience, I realized I couldn't be upset with someone if I was doing the same kind of crap they were. You can't call someone an ass if you're an ass yourself.

Feb 4 @ 12:00PM  
Revenge is kinda like resentments, can't remember who said it, but it's like drinking poison and hoping it kills your enemy. Like you said, what goes around comes around, and I've definitely found that to be one of life's "almost absolutes".

The Mama had some good advice. Me........I 've been screwed over royally, and sure, I got pissed, wanted retribution, revenge,......some sort of justice. But when it's all said and done.....I'd rather be the one getting wronged than be the one doing wrong.

In my experience, I realized I couldn't be upset with someone if I was doing the same kind of crap they were. You can't call someone an ass if you're an ass yourself.

That is how I feel....and I want to be the bigger person. Stooping to his level would not be like me, but I think just thinking about what I want to do to him kinda makes me feel better. I just keep telling myself that in the end, some day (I hope) my kids will look back and realize what an ass he was all these years and hopefully they won't want to talk to him because of it and how he treated me and how he constantly puts them in the middle.

Feb 4 @ 12:23PM  
If you do something that is stupid, folish, ill-advised or mean....and it ever gets back to your will have validated everything he tells them. They will believe it all. Let them learn thorugh your future actions that you love them and will never hurt them. I've been down this road and thank God I took the high road. My kids eventually began to understand. It's not easy, but you will survive this. And whatever doesn't kill us can make us stronger. Hang in there.

Feb 4 @ 12:31PM  
I'd keep track of everything he has done and log it all in case you do have to go to court, then your one step ahead.

Feb 4 @ 1:35PM  
My first husband turned my kids against me, I finally got custody back (long story) and now they see him for what he really is...worthless, a liar and a cheat....none of them have a relationship with him, but they are all close to me. I cried myself to sleep many a night over all of this. His day will come, it just might be a long time coming!!

Feb 4 @ 1:54PM  
Looks like alot of people here are helping! That is a great sign. You are cared for here. The best thing to do is never take vengence. Like Sunshine said, keep a log of all the things he has said and done. For you to keep a clear mind, heart, and spirit it is absolutely necessary to stay positive, do nothing you will regret, and habor no ill will for someone who causes you discomfort. Anger is unheatlhy. It will fester inside of you and come out at times when you don't want to portray yourself as an angry person due to frustrating situations in day to day life. Venting here will help. I advise you to seek a counselor to help you to keep your life stright while working thru these tough times. If that isn't feasible ask a close friend to sit with you while you vent all the ill will you have for your ex. Yell at them like you would like to at him until you have nothing left to say...really let them have it. Best wishes and remember you are loved and cared for by many and we don't want to see you and your children hurt!

Feb 4 @ 2:26PM  
Well written. It is a far to common subject. In many instances the person you marry and the person you divorce are two different people.

I strongly urge that you take the "he and me" out of it and focus on your kids looking towards the future. They are the most important people in this down the road. Do not make them a battleground. Shield them from all of the stress and ordeals as best that you can. When they get older they can sort all of this out.

Another thing is to recognize that their may be extended family on his side that need to be a part of their lives. These relationships should not become casualties of your issues with him. Actually, if his side of the family is grounded, they will be very beneficial in providing an objective perspective to your kids in understanding the complicated and odd turmoil orbiting around them.

Best to you. It is a very difficult road to travel that spans many miles.

Feb 4 @ 2:29PM  
Pardon the left out words, grammar errors, and wrong words. My bad, I machine gunned my damned comment.

Feb 4 @ 3:00PM  
Everyone,especially Bunny have the right idea going. Thats the toughest thing you have to deal with when you got a crazy ex and children involved,you have to take into account what they see you do and it drives you nuts. Its hard to want to fuck his world up beyond repair,but you also don't want to mark your kids... just know that here we're pulling for you come what may.

I dont have a crazy-ex story to add,but my sister is going through some shit. Its her vs. her sad-assed loser ex-boyfriend and his pathetic-assed hoochie wife(!) who began last month calling our house at 2am and hasn't stopped. Keep in mind that this dude broke up with my sister to marry this woman who is 27 to his 21 and has 5 kids from different fathers(no doubt). This guy has spread rumors on this black social networking site she's apart of that she's gay,etc etc. He was calling her cell,so my sister had to change numbers a few times(how did he keep calling unless my sister was dumb enough to give him her new # keep in mind shes naive) and now his wife has moved onto calling our house. To think about it causes 2nd hand stress. Ive cussed the woman out,my sister did the same thing and my other sister has also. The only person who handled it with grace was my mom,and now this woman's mom is involved..its just a big old mess. Good thing the bastard doesn't have the balls to actually come to our home because I have a broomstick waiting for him! He only remains a pathological liar-coward who will just continue making up more lies making my sister's life miserable. She's a strong girl,but I can imagine how she feels. Sorry for the long comment,just wanted to throw that outhere.


Feb 4 @ 4:32PM  
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree...that is for sure!

Just focus on the kids from here on out. Kids come forward with innocence that is ignorant. But we must smooth out the transition into a reality that often makes no, or little sense. We must take the high road and ensure our love, perhaps even reinforce the love of our ex despite the actions of the ex.

In a failed marriage, the outcome of the children it produces are what remains of importance of the failed marriage and a shared venture. The "you and I" is secondary. Those shining eyes of promise becoming wonderful fine people is what is important henceforth.

Feb 4 @ 4:48PM  
You and me can email our great revenge ideas back and forth (and maybe build on them ), laugh our asses off and then ignore the jerks and get on with our lives. Sometimes it's cathartic to vent to a friend and play 'what-if'. I know I did that in one situation and my girlfriends and I had a great time and then it was easy to let it go. Okay, easier.

Feb 4 @ 5:19PM  
trying to turn my kids against me

This alone I would take action

Michael Douglas in Falling Down style

Good movie. There are times when people do reach their limit


Feb 4 @ 5:39PM  
Honestly... I watch CSI and take notes on what not to do... cuz.. well I wouldn't do it... buu uuuut.. I would not cry if he stopped existing either.

Feb 4 @ 6:40PM  
You really don't wanna know...

I don't ENCOURAGE revenge, but...

I too watch a lot of crime tv...and take mental notes...

And like the old saying...

"Friends help you move. GOOD friends help you move bodies..."

Feb 4 @ 6:45PM  
Friends help you move. GOOD friends help you move bodies..."

Oh you couldn't have said that any better! yup, i agree sometimes you want to stoop to their level. Hope all these comments help, you seem like a nice person & your kids one day will see what he is really like. Kudo for you my dear.

Feb 4 @ 6:49PM  
There is an old saying..... revenge is a dish best served cold. Which is to say, if you do something in the heat of the moment, you'll likely get caught and it will end up making things worse. Think about it..... plan it out.... (sometimes, that's enough really...just fantasizing about it) anyway, think about it and do it sometime when it won't be an obvious retaliation.

Since I don't know your ex, I really can't offer any specific suggestions. I will say, read the book "First Wives Club". While entertaining, it's also a pretty good guide on how to wreck someone's life.

I wonder how old your kids are? Who do they live with? It makes a difference in what they believe. If they see him every other weekend, you have 2 weeks to do damage control. If they only see YOU every other weekend..... you're at a disadvantage. Someone else said write stuff down and I agree. Keep a log of all the crap that goes on.

My kids were 13, 11, and 8 and living with me. My ex was always saying stuff about me that wasn't true behind my back. Sometimes, they would ask for my side of the story. I took the high road and did not trash her to the kids. However, I DID defend myself when they'd ask about something specific. Over time, they came to realize that she was a liar and they pretty much lost respect for her. They are now 32, 30, and 26. They see her for mothers day & holidays, but that's about it. We have a great relationship and it was worth wading through the much and doing damage control all the time.

Feb 4 @ 6:58PM  
My partner did some pretty awesome things to her ex out of revenge. Now he's stalking her, hacking into her online stuff, and threatening to kill her. I say sort it out in court where everyone has to keep their hands above the table and brake lines aren't involved.

Feb 4 @ 11:18PM  
My ex never missed an opportunity to take pot shots about me with the kids. I always covered his ass saying things like..."well he's just angry, he doesn't really mean it". I made excuses for him and encouraged the girls to not be angry...just love him for the way he was. I encouraged them to stay in touch with him...I even encouraged him to stay in touch with them.

Ya see....I knew eventually they'd grow up and see him for the asshole he was and I was right. They have thanked me for not bad mouthing him when they were young and now they have little to do with him.

I don't encourage may come back and bite you in the ass. That's stooping to his level. Show your kids you're strong and decent and loving and the day will come when they thank you for it and see him for what he is.

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Getting Revenge