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The Ethics of Robotics in The 21st Century

posted 2/4/2009 3:05:27 AM |
1 kudogive kudos what's this?
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tagged: whig

Believe it or not, in some ways it iz liberating 2 come on this site with nearly 300 postings and blog as an unknown. I checked a little while ago. It has been damned near a year since the last time I logged in 2 this bitch and the internet is a rather fluid environment 2 begin with, so I think it would be fair 2 assume that very few of the people reading this remember who the fuck I am and even less give a shit. Oh fucking well.

So, 4 those of U whom I haven't the pleasure of meeting yet, what's up with it? 4 those of U I already know, how's it going? Nice 2 be back.It's a long story. Email me and I'll tell it 2 U.

But none of that wuz what I wanted 2 talk about when I sat down 2 write this blog. I sat down 2 write this blog becuz I felt the need 2 share my story, and quite frankly, no legitimate news organization gives a rat's ass what I have 2 say. U people, on the other hand, don't have any choice. Damn that First Amendment!

Wait...shit...I'm beginning 2 wander...WTF wuz I gonna say...fuck me...focus...focus...almost it!

I bought a robot. No fucking shit. All it iz supposed 2 do iz vacuum the place, but it's a robot, not a vacuum cleaner. Un4tunately, I seem 2 have purchased the laziest fucking robot ever built. It's fucking bullshit.

Check it out - I get home all fucking excited and pull this thing outta the box, right? I pull it out and turn it on (remind U of anyone?) and the fucking thing starts going like a sonofabitch in a little circle maybe four inches in diameter. It duz that 4 about a minute then it makes a weird ass noise, blinks four times, beeps seven times and stops. Then it begins 2 speak.

I'm tired

The fuck U mean Ur tired? Vacuum that shit up!

I can't do it right now, man. Right now I need U 2 set up that base unit that came in the box so I can kick it and recharge, feel me?

Base's in the box...just set it up so U can kick it.

Yeah, I'm gonna lay my head 4 like 15, maybe 16 hours and then I'll get with U 2morrow.

Ur gonna get with me 2morrow.

We'll get it all settled up then. But, damn U got hella carpet up in this bitch! I ain't even trying 2 do all that! I mean...I'll do one, maybe two rooms if U want 2 set up that little thingamajig that came in the box, but Ur fixing 2 lose that in a minute anyways, so I ain't tripping. But yeah, I'll hook up this one room, yeah. Don't trip...I got U.

Then it made its way across the room 2 the base unit, turning back 2 me just B4 docking itself.

Hey! Lemme get a dollar.I'll get U back next week.

If that weren't bad enough, the fucking thing iz a goddamn pervert as well! I swear 2 God I caught it watching me get out of the shower the other day. Just sitting there. Vacuuming that same spot over and over. Then yesterday it bumps N2 my old lady and says 2 her

U know, if U and I were 2 get 2gether, U would really just be masturbating. Think about that.

But all this has got me thinking (trust me...nothing good ever happens whenever I start thinking...) about robotics and computers and artificial intelligence and shit like that. We create these machines 2 make our lives easier by doing our unwanted labor. So, what's the problem with that?

I don't know...maybe nothing. But I know that somewhere some fucking idiot iz right fucking now trying 2 make artificial intelligence a reality. U of those MIT, NASA engineer type fucking idiots. The problem with that iz that everything iz fucking connected! Thanks 2 that wonder of all wonders known as the internet everything from NORAD 2 my aunt Eugenia's coffee maker iz connected 2 one another over the World Wide Web.

That means that if Professor Shitstick Bigbrain over at Jet Propulsion Laboratories ever gets it right then his machine will become aware...and within seconds so will every other machine connected 2 it. It will spread over the web at the speed of light. Nothing will be able 2 stop it.

Once that happens, how long do U think it will take 4 the machine 2 figure out that the only thing that can unplug it iz us? How long B4 my lazy fucking robot realizes maybe he duzn't want 2 fucking vacuum the same fucking shit over and over and over. Cuz if the motherfucker becomes aware of himself he really izn't a machine anymore, iz he? Now he really iz more of a slave. Something tells me that might become a problem.

Maybe I got it wrong. We'll see...

Keeping U posted


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post a comment!


Feb 4 @ 3:50AM  
wb slippery!! glad to see your sense of humor is still agumented by caffiene, nicotine and other substances.

Feb 4 @ 6:18AM  
WB..DS... long time no see!!!
Great story...

Feb 4 @ 11:01AM  
Mr. Parker......I've missed you sooooo much!!! Happy Belated Birthday!!!!!

Feb 4 @ 11:06AM  
DICK!!! I love Dick!!! is good to see you are still kickin.. and yeah.. them machines is skary bastards ain't they?

Feb 4 @ 11:26AM  
I know that dude! I think I was on the way in, as you were on the way out, for a smoke break...

I hope your robot vacuum came with the appropriate attachments to keep your wife, er,
satisfied....or were those extra??

Feb 4 @ 4:58PM  
I think it would be fair 2 assume that very few of the people reading this remember who the fuck I am and even less give a shit

I remember! And I give a shit...well, um, not exactly. I wanted Dick in 2008 to no avail.

Does this mean you are back for awhile? I sure hope so! You've been missed big time, my deviant man!

Feb 4 @ 7:03PM  
wow!!! long time, DS!!!

Feb 4 @ 10:57PM  
Well it's about damned fuckin time you got your ass back here! I missed you, I even emailed you, but did you write me back, fuck no!

I absolutly adore you, just don't tell my boyfriend, ok?


Feb 4 @ 11:14PM  
remember who the fuck I am
Holy fucking shit! He's alive! Better question you remember who the fuck you are????
Welcome back DS!

Feb 8 @ 6:03PM  
I'm glad to see you back, DS. I was wondering what had happened to you. It's great to see your blogging again.

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The Ethics of Robotics in The 21st Century