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Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3

posted 2/3/2009 5:56:02 PM |
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  theSkwirl

The Pervian Broadcasting Association (PBA from here in ) will now interrupt your regularly scheduled Perving for this important program. Ladies and Gentlemen.. and all the rest of you fuckers as well.. Your Prezident, theSkwirl.

My fellow Pervians, I stand here before you to sit down behind you and bring tidings of something I know nothing about.

To say that the Pervian economy is in the toilet would be an understatement. The fact is, it's in the sewer system just now and on it's way to the treatment ponds. It seems that the goods and services being regularly provided are not Kudo worthy, leading to an epic failure of mass proportions. Please, even if you have to purchase slightly less than stellar goods, do please pass around your Kudos. You can't hoard them, after all.. the gummint gibs.. the gummint taketh away. You get five at any given time, they don't multiply.. the only good they are is to be given out to others to encourage them to create new and better content. Are you with me thus far?

There has been an influx of new people moving to Pervia lately. So far, very few look like promising future Pervians. I'd like to take a moment to notice those who do seem indeed quite promising. Soonerboy and the Dominant Gent both seem like they may, indeed, become true Pervians. If I've overlooked someone.. don't hesitate to add the name in the comments.

I'd also like to take a moment and welcome back a couple folks who have returned after extended absences. you know who you are.. all of which leads me to this burning question.. PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!! Where the hell are you?

I know that you are all tired of the same old stale joke, the same three line blog, the same stupid questions..but let me pose a question to you? Are you contributing anything better? If not.. I don't want to hear it.

One of our own needs our support through prayers, happy thoughts.. whatever it is that you do.. DB.. we love you girl.. anything that we CAN do you got it.. don't give up now, ya hear?

On a lighter note.. The newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor. "As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will work together to create the embryo. Do you understand?"

The sperm nodded affirmatively.

Two days later, the sperm is taking a nap when he hears the siren. He wakes immediately and runs to the tunnel. A multitude of sperm swim behind him. He knows he has to arrive first. When he nears the entrance to the cavern, he looks back and sees that he is far ahead of the other sperm. He is able to swim at a slower pace but does approach the red, sticky ball.

When, at last, he reaches the red, sticky ball, he smiles and says, "Hi, I'm a sperm!"

The red sticky ball smiles and says, "Hi. I'm a tonsil."

Pay your taxes or I'll set DKW and the Sekret Skwirls after you.. you know you don't wanna go to our top secret base that doesn't really exist and be tortured with an ostrich.. right??

The PBA now returns you to your regularly scheduled Perving, bitching, moaning and back biting already in progress.

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   read more blogs!

Blogs by theSkwirl:
Some Things to Consider
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address ver7.1 beta
A Salute
Emergency State of the Mess Address #1
Can We Tawk?.. take 2
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address # I unno..
Update on Ann (BlueEyes)
Just Got off the Phone...
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #5
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #4 (and a challenge)
A LOVE Letter... of sorts..
Snow White and the 7 Deadly Sins
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3
A Paradox, A Most Ingenious Paradox! (The Prez has Speaked)
I've Been Thinking
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #2
Happy Dead Guy on a Stick Day Blog
Last Year's Christmas Gift
RANT ALERT
Holiday Scramble
The Pervian National Anthem
By Request, AMD Food Drive Take 2
Lame but maybe fun
Happy Holiday Cards
Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address


Comments:

post a comment!

fantasyfactory

Feb 3 @ 6:05PM  
YIKES! Dont want no Sekret Skwirls after me! Then there wont be enough room in the swing!
ynot7769

Feb 3 @ 6:07PM  
wahooo tonsils


*drops a kudo on da' way out *
fantasyfactory

Feb 3 @ 6:10PM  
So are you going to hide the greenie I just left you with your nuts?
ladybootscooter

Feb 3 @ 6:46PM  
*wanders through and pays expected taxes, kicks dust and walks away muttering all the while.......... "taxes here, taxes there, fucking taxes everywhere, can't get a fucking break........grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
PinkToeNails

Feb 3 @ 6:52PM  
[/QUOTE]"Hi. I'm a tonsil."
[QUOTE]



I can only give you one kudo.... otherwise I'd give them all to you Prez... Great speach!!!


PinkToeNails

Feb 3 @ 6:53PM  
fucking quotes!

MUDSHARK450

Feb 3 @ 6:58PM  
I guess I am one of the 'other fuckers'

I have fingers crossed for DB. Get well!

Taxes paid in atonement for not contributing much of anything but the blog ploice are everywhere.
bandengor

Feb 3 @ 8:19PM  


you said "tonsil"

lunanegra

Feb 3 @ 8:52PM  
I know that you are all tired of the same old stale joke, the same three line blog, the same stupid questions..but let me pose a question to you? Are you contributing anything better? If not.. I don't want to hear it.

*whines* Yeeeah,buuuuttt they're duuuumb! *stomps foot and pouts* Alright,alright!

*leaves a munchy krunchy Macadamian Kudo for Madam Prez*
themama

Feb 3 @ 10:21PM  
Sneaks in with head down and covered so no one sees her Pays her taxes and sneaks back out...
sugarnspice005

Feb 3 @ 11:11PM  
I know that you are all tired of the same old stale joke, the same three line blog, the same stupid questions..but let me pose a question to you? Are you contributing anything better? If not.. I don't want to hear it.




Oh yeah....and here's your taxes...don't want Sekret Skwirls knocking on my door!
Blueyesprkln

Feb 3 @ 11:22PM  
Sorry I haven't been more vocal lately, but there's health problems galore around here and no it's not me this time. Send some well wishes please, it'd be much appreciated.

Here's your greenie, hope you enjoy it.
soft_touch938

Feb 3 @ 11:45PM  
Ok ok awready! I scraped as much mold off my hoarded kudos and sending you one. Now I know why they call them "greenies"...
Wordsofwit

Feb 4 @ 12:59AM  
I know that you are all tired of the same old stale joke.

When I went to to the AMD liquor store today, I recognized a couple jokes that were posted last Friday at the check out counter buying booze. The clerk didn't ask them for their ID either, no need to as he knew them by sight. The clerk told me that they were regulars that he often saw twice a week.

Maybe you didn't want to hear that, but, hopefully, reading it is okay.
texastigress

Feb 4 @ 7:23AM  
Love reading your State of the Mess Addresses - wuvs ya' Ms Prez! Here's a nice, big juicy Greenie for you...
onehornytoad69

Feb 4 @ 7:30AM  
Taxes are Paid..... thx Lady...
dmbchick420

Feb 4 @ 8:25AM  
LOL...you crack me up!!!

girlcountry

Feb 4 @ 8:35AM  
Here's your green cookie.....
DarkKnightWalking

Feb 4 @ 8:43AM  
max49

Feb 4 @ 10:01AM  
Alright damn it!!! Here's your fuckin kudo!!! Tonsil huh? You wanna fuck?
Sunshine79

Feb 4 @ 12:16PM  
Dyslexic sperm...lmao!!!
Cootiesprayer

Mar 19 @ 6:01PM  
oh please forgive me madam skwirl. Here is your kudo. I beseech you for forgiveness.

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Prezidenchul State of the Mess Address #3