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Prove to me that you're a real person: a Turing test

posted 1/31/2009 4:03:57 AM |
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tagged: sex, humor, philosophy, mathematics

As I'm sure all of the guys on this site know (and perhaps some of the girls), there are a ton fo people on here who pretend to be a real person and/or a nymphomaniac. They send us messages, post comments or topics or blogs or whatever and try to convinve us that they want to meet us/email us/have sex with us, only to end up sending us advertisements for various dating websites.

I'm too drunk right now to get into a discussion of Alan Turing, Mathematics, Philosophy, and Artificial Intelligence, but the short version of the story is that a turing test is a test used to figure out whether or not a given "machine" is human or not. This is your Turing test. I want everyone who reads this to convince me that he/she is a person not a computer (or person trying to lure me into going to another website). How you do that is up to you.

As an incentive to anyone who passes the test by convincing me that they are real, if you're a woman with low standards in my area, I'll have sex with you. If you're a woman with high standards in my area, I'll offer to have sex with you, but you'll probably turn me down. If you're a woman who lives far away from me, I'll offer to have sex with you on the condition that you come here. If you're a guy, I won't have sex with you, but I will acknowledge your existence and let you sleep wit the women that have too high of standards to let me fuck them. If you're a computer, you should probably go to IMB or the government or somewhere and sell yourself for a lot of money. I would offer to have sex with you, but I don't think most computers have vaginas.

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   read more blogs!

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Prove to me that you're a real person: a Turing test


post a comment!


Jan 31 @ 5:39AM  

Thanks for the laugh this morning...

Jan 31 @ 6:45AM  
I have no incentive to prove to you that I am real or not. I will say you remind me of a friend who told me he went to Mensa meetings to meet women, and said that worked extraordinarily well. for him. He is a musician and I think he met his wife there. And supposedly he scored a number of times with women he met there.

I wont be offended if you ask me to go to Oklahoma, just I am not about to go there.


Jan 31 @ 7:37AM  
good one!

Jan 31 @ 8:45AM  
I believe I have just witnessed artificial intelligence!

Jan 31 @ 8:57AM  
I believe I have just witnessed artificial intelligence!

That was too funny!! and so was this blog!!!

I'm a nymphomaniac!!

I have reference!!!

Jan 31 @ 9:06AM  
Nymphomaniac? Wanna ride a pony?

Jan 31 @ 9:09AM  
pony.... nah... I'm already riding a Mustang!!!


Jan 31 @ 9:12AM  
If you look at my picture, I got a Mustang and a rumbling piece of steel between my legs! What more could a woman want? OK a night on the town, great dinner, etc.....

Jan 31 @ 9:35AM  
I just tested out my "machine", I mean vibrator this morning.....I had a nice, REAL orgasm......Do I win anything dammit???

Jan 31 @ 9:37AM  
i am not a person, just a figment of my imagination...

Jan 31 @ 9:38AM  
Anybody remember Figment? He was the mascot for Epcot when it first opened. I still have my Figment stuffed animal and my Figment Hoodie somewhere

Jan 31 @ 9:41AM  
whats an orgasm?

Jan 31 @ 9:42AM  
Orgasm? That's a drink!

Jan 31 @ 9:56AM  
I'm a blow up dolly!!! Not a real person at all.. just a skwirl with a tude.

Jan 31 @ 10:11AM  
We are Borg....

You are being assimilated....

Jan 31 @ 10:18AM  
At least this joke is not a rerun.

Jan 31 @ 10:56AM  
Yo, fantasyfactory, quit trying to steal my girls ;-) You have to wait for them to turn me down before you take them.

Also, congrats to everyone. You're all passing so far.

Jan 31 @ 11:02AM  
OK....times up!

Jan 31 @ 11:28AM  
Negative. I am a meatpopsicle.

..uh-oh,that didn't sound right.

Jan 31 @ 12:04PM  
I am a machine.

click whirrrr

Please explain orgasm. Not in my memory bank.

click whirrrrr

File search complete. No files on intelligence were located.

Please enter new words. Try again.

click whirrrr

Alert! Alert! Virus detected.

Some blogs have been infected. Do not open blogs containing //.soon:er//soc.cer

They contain a virus known as lackabrainwavs. It simulates human intelligence but it contains insufficient data. contains insufficient data.

Do not open. Delete immediately. Reboot.

End of message.

Jan 31 @ 1:44PM  
*pats down the mrs to test for real...then pats down self...then the mrs again .....decides they both sure feel real *

Jan 31 @ 1:47PM  
good blog! A greenie for an original thought!!

Jan 31 @ 2:40PM  
What's real to one person can be delusion to another. As long as my $ is real, it doesn't really matter if I am or not.

Interesting approach, SS. Very nice.

Jan 31 @ 2:49PM  
I believe I have just witnessed artificial intelligence!

Far from it! This man obviously has a brain and knows how to use it. I predict that he will find a few women willing to drop their knickers soon.

Me? Like the rest of the dorks on here, I'm not real either. One must have a life to be real, right?

Jan 31 @ 2:59PM  
Hey Sooner...are you real? Not that I give a fuck, but seems like you have taken the place og god here. Not your place. Please step down and take your position. Beneath him! No one needs to prove anything to you...

Jan 31 @ 4:04PM  
Hey Sooner...are you real? Not that I give a fuck, but seems like you have taken the place og god here. Not your place. Please step down and take your position. Beneath him! No one needs to prove anything to you...

Of course I'm real, although I do like the strategy of you turning the question around on me. And I agree, nobody has to prove anything to me. But it's a fun exercise, and I don't have to respect anyone who can't convince me they're not a computer.

Jan 31 @ 4:26PM  
Cuz the white man has a god complex.......I believe that was The Last Poets that wrote that one.

Jan 31 @ 5:17PM  
~~~ One must have a life to be real, right? ~~~~ When I joined was this in the fine print that I missed I know it is time to make another appointment to see the "EYE" doctor...... In most cases I am highly better off with fantasy since everything begin's with the mind...only select few are actually real on here....

btw.....F. F. I have a passion for mustang's

Jan 31 @ 5:22PM  
You can be sure that I would drive you down a REAL bumpy road!

Jan 31 @ 7:14PM  
I am the real BUDMAN and have nothing to prove....
Excuse me while I shut down and reboot..............

Feb 1 @ 9:02PM  
first you have to prove your real before i'll show you how real i am! *wink*

Mar 25 @ 11:23AM  
Jeez I'm regretting I took such a long hiatus from blog land!
This is great.
I'm a highly convincing bullshit borg.

Mar 25 @ 11:35AM  
Can't spell. maybe it's all matrix as in the movie.

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Prove to me that you're a real person: a Turing test