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How Can We Expect Kids To Use Manners, If We Don't Use Them?

posted 1/26/2009 7:30:11 AM |
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tagged: rant, manners, rude

My oldest grand daughter spent this weekend with me. Since my daughter and I live a little over and hour from each other we meet about half way in between quite often to pick her up from the other. That is also where we go out to eat or shopping together on those rare occassions.

My grand daughters second Father/Daughter dance at her school is coming up on Feb 13th. Yeap, Friday the 13th... she is freaking about that... lol
So yesterday was one of those rare occassions and we met to go shopping for her a dress.. After hours of her trying on many dresses at 2 different stores, she finally found one that she really liked, fit and wasn't rediculous priced. Well, at least not compared to some that we saw.

This year she even let my son in law go along with us...last year he wasn't allowed to have a clue what her dress looked like until she was dressed and ready to go. Okay, so my daughter kind of drug him along this time to help keep watch on my 3 year old grand daughter while they were finding and trying on dresses, since I woke with a migraine and we weren't sure if I would be able to stay.

Hopefully this year the dance won't be postponed due to the weather, two weeks in a row. Cross your fingers please.......

But my point in this blog is actually manners... or lack there of.
When we left the house she asked me if I had brought anything to drink and since I hadn't I stopped at a gas station/mini mart store. I parked at the front of the store and she went in to grab a drink..... I let her since I could see inside the entire store and see her the whole time. As she walked to the door she held it open for about 7 other people to walk in and out, mostly in. Not one of them even bothered to say a simple thank you or anything to her. I'm not sure of their ages but the youngest was old enough to buy beer.
When we got to the mall, she held the door for me and two ladies who were behind me also. Neither of them said anything to her.

After the second said nothing I looked at my grand daughter and said, "I guess everyone must have left their manners at home today or was never taught how to say thank you." She said, "That's okay Grandma, just because they are rude doesn't mean I have to be by not holding the door"

I don't know about anyone else but I was taught when someone holds a door open for you, you say thank you... or acknowledge it in some degree.

So I want to know What the Hell is going on with people and their manners? How can we teach children to have and use manners and show respect if adults don't do it?
I guess I was just in awe yesterday.She holds the door often for people and I have never seen this happen before. They usually smile, are friendly and say thank you.

I realize a lot of people are having a really tough time and their minds are on other things, but does that mean being rude is acceptable? Or is it not considered rude to ignore the person who holds the door open for you while they are standing in the cold?

Okay, my rant is over...

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Jan 26 @ 8:07AM  
What the Hell is going on with people and their manners?
I dunno....!

Jan 26 @ 8:41AM  
She's a good girl and thoughtful... and was raised with manners... I always thank someone who holds the door for me and take the time to hold the door for others as well!

Jan 26 @ 9:19AM  
I blame everyone, actually....most children are taught manners, at home, by their parents....Problem is, once they become Adults, no one seems to "call" them for their broach of public etiquette.

To not say a simple "thank you" for someone holding a door for you is simply rude, crude, and totally unacceptable. Upon many occasions, I have held doors open, and heard not a single murmur of thanks.....This is generally followed by a LOUD, BOOMING voice saying "YOU'RE QUITE WELCOME!!!!!"...


Jan 26 @ 9:55AM  
So funny CL yes I also say thank you but let me tell you what happened to me on the way to work Friday. I was almost at the stop light on Shadeland (you remember that street) and there was a lady trying to get out of the gas station so I stopped a distance back and was motioning for her to come on. I was watching traffic for her behind me. Well since she was on the phone it took a few minutes. She didn't even acknowledge my gesture So I waved anyway and looked beside me and this lady was watching the exchange or lack of one she shook her head and shrugged her shoulders and waved at me with a smile. So I started laughing and waved back. Yeah most people are rude now adays and its sad

Jan 26 @ 10:32AM  
Lisa you are SO right........ I see people waiting to get out of some sort of parking lot / gas station and I'll try to wave them out and they are so busy yakking on their phone, they don't even see. Their mind is waiting for a no traffic opening.

To the topic at hand, manners begins at home, and I think more parents are doing it than we give credit for....... but it gets flushed out of their system at shool by peer pressure from the vocal minority. And the teachers are helpless to discipline because the parents of that little snot nosed jerk will sue so that their precious brat won't have his creativity stifled.

Jan 26 @ 1:40PM  
I always make it a point to say please and thank you. Even while eating out and the server has been to the table a million times, I say thank you EVERY time.

Same with the door. I always say thank you when someone holds it open

You should have seen me at the mall with the baby and the stroller. i was struggling with the door and you don't know how many people just walked by and used the other doors beside me. WTF?? People are rude.

Jan 26 @ 5:02PM  
I stopped at the gas station today to get a bag of ice... as I was coming out, a lady on crutches was hobbling from the gas pump to the door... I had time to put the bag in my car but I went back and opened the door for her. Not for praise or anything, just because I knew she would have a hard time trying to get the door open with crutches under her arms. She did thank me too. Works both ways ya know... I hope someone would do the same for me if I was on crutches. My momma did raise me to be helpful to others.. although I know I can be a pain in the ass.... someone here could contest to that!
It doesn't take but a moment to be kind... or to thank someone for their kindness.

Jan 26 @ 9:49PM  
I teach my kids manners, and I do it by example. That's the way I was taught. But I think you are right, manners are starting to disappear.

Jan 27 @ 3:50AM  
You're right. I see less and less of them anymore today out of people.

Or is it not considered rude to ignore the person who holds the door open for you while they are standing in the cold?

And you're right about this one too. I would expect that at the least. I have smiled and said thank you whenever someone had held the door open for me.

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How Can We Expect Kids To Use Manners, If We Don't Use Them?