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posted 1/21/2009 6:42:23 PM |
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I'm not sure if this has been posted yet.... I don't want the re-post police after me!

Posted to Craig's List Personals:

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)

I was the white guy with the black Burrberry jacket that you demanded I
hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also
asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come
across this message. I'd like to apologize.
I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you
took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening,
and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me
that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a
shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very
intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?
I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever
you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure
it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and
wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to
come help you try to mug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or
"Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation.
I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the
homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in
your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.
I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your
bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the
line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know
what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your
service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with
Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you
did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm
sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like
to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you
use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing
you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll
reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so
lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.

- Alex

Now that's gun control at it's best.

Copy & paste to friend: (Click inside box; Ctrl + C to copy; Ctrl + V to paste)

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post a comment!


Jan 21 @ 6:57PM  
Nice post, 'lill green thingy to go with it.

Too bad, in R/L, any 'white guy' that would do such, would be considered
in todays Political Correctness, to be the 'criminal'.

Makes me think of the guy that shot a drugged up, repeat criminal that was
breaking into his house for the second time that night. Obama thought he
should go to jail for protecting his family from death.

Jan 21 @ 7:09PM  
Obama huh?!?!??! What has this country gotten itself into?!?!??!?

Jan 21 @ 7:13PM  
'very boring""""""""""""

Jan 21 @ 7:13PM  
OMG, that was fucking great....LMAO

Hysterically awesome!!!!

Jan 21 @ 7:16PM  
'very boring

Hmmm.. I don't recall asking your opinion but since this is an open blog, your comment is approved.....

I think you're just pissed that I never responded to your emails to me!

Jan 21 @ 7:17PM  
not according to dipshit Sunshine! LOL

I thought it was pretty good myself!

Jan 21 @ 7:25PM  
honey sending you an email, " now that would really be boringgggggggggggggg

Jan 21 @ 7:28PM  
Boring? Someone has got to be kidding right? I found this to be hysterical.

I'm even gonna risk Prez's wrath and leave ya a kudo.

Jan 21 @ 7:28PM  
I'm leaving your comment for alllllllllllllllllllll the lovely ladies to see!!!!

Jan 21 @ 8:15PM  

had to read that to my mom...

and NOW ya'll know why he needs some now lol

shitty personality

Jan 21 @ 8:48PM  
Fabulous...You go girl

Jan 21 @ 9:25PM  
And they want gun control....why????? good blog! I can see that happening in Atlanta!!

Jan 22 @ 12:31AM  
I don't quite understand when people find something not of interest to them, why they can't just pass it by instead of having to be rude.

I thought it was a funny blog........ I would have about died laughing had I read it on craigslist...

Jan 22 @ 7:30AM  
Good Post!!! I love it!!!!

Jan 22 @ 9:48AM  
What a fine upstanding citizen to apologize for making the guy shit his pants and walk home. Sounds like something that might happen on the streets of Nashville. kudo sweetie.

Jan 22 @ 12:02PM  
this is also a good reason for ME not to own a gun....he he he...bit late tho

Jan 22 @ 12:53PM  
LOL....good one! I bet he won't be mugging people anymore!!!

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