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Saturday Humor

posted 1/17/2009 9:45:44 AM |
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Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament.

At first I said, 'Naaahhh! I already play 4 or 5 times a week.'

Then they said to me, 'Come on, it's for handicapped and blind kids.'

Then I thought...

Shit . . . I could WIN this!!!


Second Time Around

There's a scream from the bedroom. The husband runs in and there's a
guy leaping out of the window.

His wife says, "Whaa! That guy just shagged me twice!"

He says, "Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he shagged you once?"

She says, "Because I thought it was you... until he started for the
second one."




A little old couple in their eighties was sitting on the couch watching
the Playboy movie channel. He looked at her and asked, "Do you think
we can still do that?"

"Well, we can sure try!" she answered. So they shuffled off to the
bedroom. He went into the bathroom to get ready and she took off all
her clothes in the bedroom. When he came out of the bathroom, he saw
her standing on her head in the middle of the bedroom floor.

"What are you doing, sweetheart?" he asked.

"Well," she replied, "I thought if you couldn't get it up, maybe you
could just drop it in!


Q: What do you call a pantry full of lesbians?
A: A licker cabinet.

Q: What do you call an Eskimo lesbian?
A: A Klondyke.

Q: What do you call 100 lesbians with guns?
A: Militia Etheridge.

Q: What do you call two lesbians in a canoe?
A: Fur Traders

Q: What is a lesbian dinosaur called?
A: A Lickalotapuss.

Q: What do you call a lesbian with long fingers?
A: Well Hung.

Q: Did you hear that Ellen DeGeneres drowned?
A: She was found face down in Ricki Lake .

Q: How can you tell a tough lesbian bar?
A: Even the pool table doesn't have balls.

Q: What do you call lesbian twins?
A: Lick-a-likes.

Q: What's the definition of confusion?
A: Twenty blind lesbians in a fish market.

Q: What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
A: One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.

Q: What do you have when you've got 50 lesbians and 50 state workers?
A: 100 people that don't do dick.


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post a comment!


Jan 17 @ 10:20AM  
thanks for the laughs!

Jan 17 @ 11:39AM  
Q: What's the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?
A: One's a snack cracker, the other's a crack snacker.


Jan 17 @ 11:55AM  
Fuck Lesbians!

Jan 17 @ 12:02PM  
The lesbian jokes were oldies but goodies. I had forgotten most of them.

Jan 17 @ 12:48PM  
Then I thought...

Shit . . . I could WIN this!!!


Jan 18 @ 7:49PM  
That last one? so very very very true!

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Saturday Humor