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I need Help...Making up my mind!

posted 1/10/2009 8:32:26 PM |
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  onehornytoad69

Recently, I Lost a LADY that was an awesome Woman!
She was not my Mother..but the next best thing! Hell, Sometimes she was even better! lol
I'm not knocking my Mom.. by no means!! So please dont missunderstand me!!!
I really dont like going indepth.. Online... but fugg it! I need to Vent a lil!! So plz do bare with me!
When I was a kid... I met my Cousin and his Wife... he was an Tobacco Farmer...
I was eleven Years Old when ...
He told my Dad that he could use a little help on the farm driving the tractor..
Hell, I didnt know how to drive shit...
But.. it didnt take long for me to learn!
They took me in every summer...from that time on..... They were there the last day of School to pick me up and brought me back the day before school started....untill The Day I Got Married, the Summer after I Graduated!!!!
This Lady I am speaking of... was the Most Patient Lady I have ever met! To put up with all this!
She worked 2nd shift.. 2:30 pm till 11pm...5 days a week.... She was just a Country Woman, not too smart, not to Pretty,not to shapely, she had 4 Daughters, and one Son....
Plus me!
She was someone Special...too me at least!!!
Every Morning.. She would be the first one up!! (she didnt get home till after 12:30 AM)
5:00 AM every Morning, She would Cook breakfast for all (whoever wanted it or Not!).. and if someone came in.. then she would cook for them also! Nope, she didnt ask, she did it!!!

We would hit the fields...work till Lunch time.....
Then go to Lunch...
She would Always have us a Hot lunch. After the Tomatoes started comming in from the Garden.. we would do sandies... and Im talking Sandwiches.. I can only dream about now! Gosh, they were so good! I can almost taste one now!!! Plus, she would have tatter salad..baked beans..... and other things for us to eat!!! EVERYDAY!!! and yet she still worked!!!
There were at least...15 ppl everyday..during "Pulling time" up to 25 ppl somedays...but everyone was well taken care of!
She would take me to Town before school.. and help me buy my own Clothes for school... weeks before school started...plus way too many things to mention!!!!
She was no Saint.. according to most peoples judgement.....but I will tell ya... she was a Blessing to this... Now... "Old Boy"!
Her health got her down years ago..but, she past the Doctors "Dead" line...by 9 years!!! What a Fighter!!!!!
This is where I need help making up my Mind!
I could'nt make up my mind on what to put on her Grave!!!!!
She is not my Mom.. but Man shes up there, I'm talking way up there!!!!!!
What have YOU or Have you Seen others, Put on a grave besides Flowers?
I wanna do something Special, and Flowers Just dont cut it!
and Yeah... I know she knows my Heart! But I wanna do it, Because She would!!!
Thanks in advance!!!

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Comments:

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girlcountry

Jan 10 @ 8:39PM  
When my twin brother died, I planted a flowering perrenial plant on his grave. It was Black-Eyed Susans, my mother's favorite flower. So even if I or she can't get back there, at least those will be there for us. My sympathies to you!!
rnj1013

Jan 10 @ 8:42PM  
I was unable to be at both of my best friends funerals (they died within a year and a half of each other), they know I love them. They know they are always in my heart. It's what was in your heart and in your life while they were here with you that makes the most difference. My sincerest condolences for your loss, but as long as you remember her the way she would remember you, you have n o need to feel guilty about anything from here on out
sugarnspice005

Jan 10 @ 9:08PM  
My condolences for your loss.

It's so hard to suggest what to put on her grave. Plant her favorite flower/plant.
soft_touch938

Jan 10 @ 9:38PM  
My condolences hun.

My first thought is an angel, they have some beautiful ones at the floral shoppes. I got one from neighbors for my late husbands funeral and it was really special to me. She sits on my bookcase now and brings me comfort.

You need to find out the rules of the cemetary, some doesn't allow anything except headstone saddles. Then too as bad as the thought is, there's the concern of someone stealing an angel unless you can cement it down someway.

It seems she was your angel for many years and this just seems fitting to me. But you'll think of something special I'm sure. You needn't hurry, time will lay it in your heart.

Hugs hun....
rnj1013

Jan 10 @ 9:40PM  
(for the record) I still have the letter I wrote to my very best friend when he died....if I ever am allowed to visit his grave it will be what I place there when I finally make it
theSkwirl

Jan 10 @ 10:01PM  
I'm sorry for your loss toad.. and I don't have an answer for you either.. something personal would be better than something just .. picked up. Something that means something to you.. and maybe to her.
Wordsofwit

Jan 10 @ 10:10PM  
I would plant a tree, her favorite tree., if not on her grave, then where she would want it planted, with a brief succinct inscription on a raised plague. It could be in a park or someplace where the shade could provide comfort in the summer to those who love to live.
StraddleMyNose

Jan 10 @ 11:53PM  
Man, I'm so sorry for your loss
alybai42

Jan 11 @ 12:14AM  
Sorry to hear about your lose.
featherone

Jan 11 @ 12:17AM  
when my mom died i had this angel necklace i got from my dad when i was a little girl, i buried it on her grave before i left ohio, i loved that necklace alot, so i wanted her to have it,
casuallylooking

Jan 11 @ 4:12AM  
I'm truly very sorry for your loss, Alex. It sounds like she was a special person and a wonderful woman.

I worked in a greenhouse/florist for 9 years and I have seen people spend hundreds of dollars on flowers that are soon going to die.
That's senseless to me... although a pretty arangement or plant is nice. They buy statues to leave on the graves..usually only to have them stolen.

Although it can get pricey, If it is alright with the rest of the family, you could have a picture of you and her, or all of you growing up, framed by the monument company and attached to her head stone. Or a small poem, just a verse or a small design etched in her stone.

If the cemetery allows it, you could plant maybe a miniature rose bush that will come back each year, but won't get too large or out of control. Or her favorite perennial.
Some small, private places will allow a small bench to be anchored/cemented into the ground as a place for loved ones to sit when they visit a departed ones grave.

IAnd like Bruce's idea. That is what we did when my little sister passed. We planted two trees in memory of her with a small plaque. That was several years ago, but today those trees ae beautiful.....and so full of life.

Your heart will tell you what to do...just listen to it. What would she have liked?
Lisa46

Jan 11 @ 10:02AM  
She sounds like a special "mom" to me. I am so sorry Alex. CL has some wonderful idea well so did WOW. But I guess the one saying follow your heart is my advice.

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I need Help...Making up my mind!